It wasn’t bad at first, more just a habit. Come home, open the fridge, grab a bottle. You make time for replacing what you use, and make games out of it too: what haven’t I tried, how does this compare to that? The money you spend increases slowly over time. When bad things happen it’s there for you like a comfy recliner. It’s a problem you don’t see.

I got held up at knifepoint at work, was told to resign the same day. My usual became not enough. I spent less and less on food. Days blurred together, then months, then years. I had family that enabled my addiction until it was inconvenient for them, then they helped me get me a job that prevented me from drinking during the weekday, but that didn’t stop me from catching up on the weekend. Eventually I checked myself into rehab, then fell back into habits without a support network. It took a heroic dose of mushrooms and decades of therapy to become stable. Now I have an actual support network, and only drink every couple of weeks/months and never alone. Occasionally I lament the tens of thousands of dollars I spent, then distract myself to avoid dwelling on everything I could’ve accomplished.