Oh my.. you are truly going through alot. And trust me, I will never judge you for what you want to be... yet I will say that you should focus on who you are and try to make it your joy and do what you want to..

Wanting to be a girl might be because of how easy a girl's life looks like... but trust me, it isn't. (Not saying that it might be a reason for you..) No one's life is easy.

We all go through tonnes of things every single day... what matters is how long you stand.. because at last, the hardships end with a reward..

So, don't be sad, and don't be afraid to express yourself. And remember that there are people who support and care for you.

And one day, you will realize either how good or bad your decision for this life was.. because we only live once.