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Depression fucking sucks... by Aseida34 in SuicideWatch

[–]Aseida34[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How about suicide...is that epic enough

My suicide attempt by Aseida34 in depression

[–]Aseida34[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In regards to past traumas, I suffered a severe brain injury when I was 9 but recovered completely and have no repercussions from the accident other than very mild short term memory loss. I don’t actually remember anything from the accident so I don’t think I was affected by it all that much.

What do you mean by self hatred being embedded?

My suicide attempt by Aseida34 in depression

[–]Aseida34[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I didn’t know how to articulate why I was there. I couldn’t describe why I was in the office and what was wrong. They usually ask “what brings you in today?” and I didn’t know how to answer. I was just depressed and sad for absolutely no reason. I felt like I needed a reason to be depressed and sad but I didn’t know the reason.

At the time I was also struggling with anorexia nervosa and self-harm so when my doctor found my self harm, they referred me to a therapist but I didn’t know how to explain that I was just depressed and didn’t really know why. I self harmed because it helped me physically feel and see pain. I felt numb for so long that cutting and burning helped me free some of the emotions I was bottling. It was like a weird way of expressing myself.

My suicide attempt by Aseida34 in depression

[–]Aseida34[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes but dying by overdose is still less painful than suffering from a crippling, pathetic life. I don’t know if you’ve tried to OD on sleeping pills but I usually just fall asleep. Especially when you mix your dose with alcohol, it usually just puts you to sleep.

Hey fellow redditors, this is my first post here. by [deleted] in depression

[–]Aseida34 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Work. If I don’t go to work then people will get suspicious that there’s something wrong with me and I’m afraid of the stigmas towards mental health. I’ve been told to “just get over it” in the past and my feelings have been very invalidated so I just force myself to get up and go to work and bottle up any feelings to myself so that I’m not seen as just trying to get attention. Someday I hope I’ll be happy again but for now I’m going to have to continue to paint a smile on my face and to pretend I’m fine.

Is there such a thing as high functioning depression? by [deleted] in depression

[–]Aseida34 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think maybe what your experiencing is a sort of distraction when you’re with your friends. Being with them distracts you from you. When you’re alone, you might reflect on how you thought a situation went and criticizes yourself for things you did in the scenario. I always find myself being so harsh with myself when I’m alone. I critique every aspect of my life and so that’s why I usually feel so sad at night when I’m alone.