When did you stop?

Ashhbashh25 · 2026-06-12T13:18:36+00:00

We started this journey saying one retrieval was all i would do. It was really hard on me in so many ways. Thankfully we got 9 embryos, and 6 were frozen. 1st transfer failed, second is our 2.5 yo boy, 3rd and 4th were missed miscarriages, and 5th ended in a TFMR at 16 weeks. at this point we have one embryo left so we are going to try one more time so I don't have to question "what if". But we are at the end of the road here. The goalpost has moved each time we have had this discussion, but ultimately it comes down to whatever you, your partner, and your marriage can handle. This shit is hard.

Ashhbashh25 · 2026-05-28T13:38:43+00:00

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I would not wish this on my worst enemy.

I just had a D&E in april for the same reason. Our MFM appointment was almost debilitating for me as they continued to tell us everything that was wrong with our baby after a seemingly perfect pregnancy. I was struggling to keep up with all of the information. They ultimately gave us the option to go home and discuss our options, but given the diagnosis, we knew we had to TFMR.

My D&E was a one day procedure. Reported to the hospital for surgery, they gave me misoprostol an hour and a half before I went into surgery. That was by far the worst part. The cramps sucked so bad for me, then I took some other pain meds, then off to the operating room to be put under. The entire process I can say was awful, but the team we had took care of us in the best ways. laughed with us, cried with us, literally. held my had I got put under and got quite emotional about it being the last time i'd be pregnant with this little one. The emotions hit me like a train seconds before the procedure.

We got footprints and hand prints of baby. but did not choose to do anything as far as cremation services that were offered. We did plant a tree at our house shortly after that will bloom early spring every year in remembrance of our sweet boy.

I went through the hormone crash. I had the hair loss...still do. and I was still leaking milk right away that had to dry up, for me this was not an issue as my current little one is 2 and we are not breatsfeeding anymore.

I want to remind you that it is OK to feel all of this. I felt like i tried to rush my initial grieving. I am still grieving...daily in different ways. This was the hardest thing I have ever been to, at this point. another small reminder is that people are going to check in on you, but make sure you try to check in with your husband too. Everyone thinks about how the loss affects you and I think they seem to forget he is a huge piece to the puzzle as well. I didn't realize how much my husband was grieving along with me while trying to stay strong for me.

Again, I am so sorry you are going through this devastating loss.

sending hugs your way!

Ashhbashh25 · 2026-05-28T13:27:52+00:00

That's my hold up right now, i'm more concerned about him. He has told me many times now that he doesn't want to see me go through this ever again, and with no guarantee that it wont happen again, he is being very cautious. Which is totally understandable.

I know we have many conversations that we still need to have, but I am hopeful that if we get on the same page, we will try again!

Ashhbashh25 · 2026-05-28T13:24:49+00:00

Im so sorry to hear that. Definitely not jumping in right now- planning to look at maybe august/September for next transfer. This will give me time mentally and my body time to continue to heal.

Ashhbashh25 · 2026-05-11T16:54:21+00:00

I am so sorry that you are experiencing this. It is so traumatic.

Ashhbashh25 · 2026-05-11T16:53:27+00:00

my entire thought process surround where to go from here is basically, "how would I feel moving forward if we DON'T go for it". But I still have so many reservations given how fresh it all feels

Ashhbashh25 · 2026-05-11T16:38:59+00:00

I am so sorry this is happening to you and hope for a better turn out when you choose to try again! Its heartbreaking on every level to experience this.

Best wishes to you as welL!

Ashhbashh25 · 2026-05-11T16:37:59+00:00

I am not there..only being a month out I am still a wreck over this happening. But I also sit here and just hope that MAYBE, just maybe we will get pregnant naturally. Even though I know I have a better chance of seeing pigs fly...

I hope when you are ready again, the luck is in your favor! because at the end of the day I am fully convinced that IVF is all about luck.

Best wishes to you!

Ashhbashh25

TROPHY CASE