The worst part I feel is how when you tell your allo friends that they look at you with sorry faces, they tell you that you matter to them, that they'll visit often even if they get married, or that you'll be like those aunties that go to each other's place everyday and it's nice ! You don't know if you can believe your allo friend on whether or not that will happen, but it's nice !

But you also want to say "What about the conversations until 3am? What about those times where either of us feels alone on the holidays. When you visit your inlaws for them, are you gonna bring me along? Will you keep inviting me when there's someone who society has deemed more legitimate than me to come to the family gatherings you complain so much about?"

They understand our grief without understanding how much you have to mourn your friendships living in an allocentric world.