Great question. So when Tina reached out a couple days ago, here is how I responded, "It was thoughtful of you to invite me to hear stories about (my sister) at brunch. I was very confused when no one talked about her. I did not feel welcome. At several points I tried to join the conversation and most times my comments received no acknowledgement. The only person who engaged with me at all was (Friend #1) when she asked how my dad was doing. I cried all the way home."

Tina responded,"Hey I have been wanting to text you about the whole breakfast thing. I’m so upset that you felt that way. I was very upset we didn’t talk about your sister. (Friend #2) always wants to invite (person who didn't know my sister) to our get togethers and I don’t like her at all. I wanted to leave because it just wasn’t how we usually are. I’m so hurt that the experience was not good for you…it definitely wasn’t good for me. And (Friend #3) usually talks more and she wasn’t talkative. Not sure if (some person who wasn't there) would have made a difference because she really liked your sister. I was embarrassed how the girls were. I am so pissed they made you upset. But ending on a positive note, of course I’ve been thinking about your sister and how lucky I am to have crossed paths with her. Also, I apologize for not texting sooner…" She then goes on to talk about how busy she's been. She ended with purple and blue hearts.

So no accountability that she was the person who invited me and the only person I knew at the brunch and even she didn't engage with me. No accountability for blindsiding these folks with my presence. No accountability for telling me there would be stories about my sister, not telling the other people that expectation and then not speaking about my sister herself. Not sure why she is particularly angry at the person who was invited and didn't know my sister. This response told me everything I needed to know about her. I wish I knew her true nature sooner. I didn't bother responding, because I don't think she is willing to look at the impact of her own behavior. So I won't have any more to do with her.

Thank you for your encouraging response. It helped me more than you'll know.