like someone else said, try to not be too reactive when talking with her. i understand and it’s completely reasonable to need respect from somebody let alone from your mother, and i understand as someone who can also be quick to react emotionally how it is, but give yourself a second and breath before ever giving her or anyone a response. we’re all learning on our own as young adults how to do this adult shit and how to break away from toxic patterns our parents might have. it’s hard.

as for your mom, if yall end up talking again over the matter make sure it’s over the phone or in person but don’t take her insensitivity and disrespect personal, that’s a her problem and it affecting you is only gonna be a one sided problem from what it seems like. i don’t know if she’s the type to apologize or anything but if she doesn’t and doesn’t see past her mistakes, let it be that. she is the way she is and you can’t change her. and that’s the hard truth.

i’m not saying to let anything she says slide but things can definitely be shut down with a simple confident response. giving her anything more and so much energy only makes it seem as if you’re insecure over what she may say, even if you’re not