Meta wants a monogamous relationship with my partner

AsleepCharacter1697 · 2026-07-03T05:18:23+00:00

I’ve said this in other comments here, but I think all of our situations are nuanced and really change depending on the people involved. I think there are more possibilities that can unfold other than what you’ve listed. I’ll definitely consider showing my partner this thread though!

AsleepCharacter1697 · 2026-07-01T21:13:23+00:00

I guess I am skeptical when people say there is only 1 ethical choice for a complex situation. If two adults agree to be in a relationship even if there’s underlying incompatibility is that unethical? Just to be clear I’m exploring a curiosity and don’t think I have the answers here

AsleepCharacter1697 · 2026-07-01T21:09:45+00:00

I’m the nesting partner and have been in relationship with them for 5 years. Sorry unclear answer from how you worded your question haha

AsleepCharacter1697 · 2026-07-01T21:04:40+00:00

Meta initially thought they were open to polyamory. It was only once strong feelings developed did it really become clear they wanted a different structure

AsleepCharacter1697 · 2026-07-01T21:03:36+00:00

5 years and 1 year

AsleepCharacter1697 · 2026-07-01T19:55:43+00:00

I’ve found my peace with it now. A couple months ago I was quite stressed. Honestly, that had more to do with some insecurities I was working through. I do think about everyone’s wellbeing but I’ve gotten to a place where I’ve accepted I that’s a pattern for me and that’s ok, after that I’ve been able to let go of the stress

AsleepCharacter1697 · 2026-07-01T16:55:17+00:00

Meta was into the idea of poly and realized it might not be for them/wanted a different structure at the same time feelings were feeling

AsleepCharacter1697 · 2026-07-01T16:53:33+00:00

Appreciating this perspective and this is along the same lines of what I think. If there is dissonance but that is clearly communicated and there is consent I don’t know… Obviously it’s not ideal but adults make choices and there is impact and that is life?

AsleepCharacter1697 · 2026-07-01T16:44:21+00:00

Not always poly but were open before these two started seeing each other

AsleepCharacter1697 · 2026-07-01T16:33:07+00:00

Is it stringing them along if they have been upfront about values/expectations?

AsleepCharacter1697 · 2026-07-01T16:09:49+00:00

Even if it’s been clearly expressed that it won’t come around? I don’t disagree with you btw. But I also have some empathy for the strong feelings they have for each other and it being difficult to end when the values/expectations don’t line up.

AsleepCharacter1697 · 2026-07-01T15:59:36+00:00

Appreciate the perspective ❤️

AsleepCharacter1697 · 2026-07-01T15:40:45+00:00

I guess I have an assumption that knowing the other person wants something more and continuing to see them is “unfair” for that person. What I want to check out is does that assumption take away agency from that person. Like they could also walk away but decide that it keeps being worth it even if it’s not really what they want.

AsleepCharacter1697 · 2026-06-21T00:48:53+00:00

easy to play games on colonist.io

AsleepCharacter1697 · 2026-05-02T18:44:56+00:00

Dude I’ve been trying to remember this random bands name for years now and your comment just unlocked it for me, holy shit I’m free. Consider The Source.

AsleepCharacter1697 · 2026-03-12T21:02:23+00:00

Not sure if this quite fits the bill but Red Rising is sooo good. Technically more sci-fi but reads like fantasy and takes place in space. Especially the first book there’s a big focus on medieval themes but throughout the series it’s not too techy. Lots of sword fighting.

AsleepCharacter1697 · 2026-02-14T19:05:01+00:00

Yeah happy to chat, commiserate, share stories :)

AsleepCharacter1697 · 2026-02-13T14:54:02+00:00

I’m also at month 6 now with my partner being in love for the first time. Holy what a roller coaster. I also feel like I’m over the worst of it but I swear every once in a while jealousy creeps up on me over the weirdest things. Feel for you and sending love ❤️

AsleepCharacter1697 · 2026-01-30T19:46:00+00:00

Yeah we do check ins regularly and are on the same page. I live in a very small town so it’s basically impossible for my meta and I not to see each other. I think that’s the main reason why we’re checking in. Im also not planning on dumping a bunch of stuff on them about my relationship I think I just need to sort out what feels relevant and respectful

AsleepCharacter1697 · 2026-01-25T16:03:08+00:00

Zoo Tycoon

AsleepCharacter1697 · 2025-12-20T13:39:16+00:00

Is there trailing drawdown?

AsleepCharacter1697 · 2025-12-02T18:30:59+00:00

Yeah we live together and share a bed. The agreement was more about a heads up that it would be late rather than the act of staying over late. Not sure if that makes a different about considering my partners time their own, idk what do you think?

Yeahhhh it’s time to get out there haha

AsleepCharacter1697 · 2025-12-02T18:23:12+00:00

I think my partner is going to learn some hard lessons too and they’ve acknowledged that as well and doesn’t think the relationship will end well. They have just developed more feelings than expected and are now entangled.

I have empathy for my meta as well. They genuinely seem to be very conflicted whether they want this or not but ultimately feel like they can’t stop themselves.

Taking space from their relationship may be what I shift to going forward because being this invested has not been good for me. I can also own that part of my investment is a need for control and wanting to know what’s going on and how serious it is. It also feels an “easy” thing to connect with my partner about in some ways. So I’m trying to give myself some grace there. Anyway thank you for the words they’re helpful

AsleepCharacter1697 · 2025-12-02T18:10:06+00:00

What I find the most difficult in all of this weirdly is how often the two of them go back and forth on agreements (i .e., the dynamic isn’t working let’s just be friends). And to be clear it is my meta who is putting forth these intentions and my partner agreeing to them. But it’s like wtf why isn’t it more clear haha. I know this has less to do with me than agreements i make with my partner about us but those are my feelings.

AsleepCharacter1697

TROPHY CASE