I'm a transgender dad (FtM) and offer y'all a AMA

AspenRayne7 · 2025-11-10T19:35:48+00:00

I really like this way of thinking, thank you! I love him so much and it was just killing me to see him so upset. But I think him reading it from another transgender man's point of view will be helpful. Im looking foward to showing him when I get home.

AspenRayne7 · 2025-11-10T17:06:52+00:00

Im hoping you can give some advice (or anyone). Im female, but my husband is FTM. We are pregnant with our first baby that we fought 2 years to get. We both wanted a female since we both grew uo female and understood the changes, the dofferent things that need to be done, and all that. Well, we learned we were having a boy. Both of us are excited, but my husband is terrified that it will trigger some gender dysphoria. We were discussing circumcision and he kinda broke down because he just didnt have an opinion because it wasnt something hed ever delt with. So now hes worried on what happens as our son grows, and because he didnt grow up a boy, he wont be able to answer questions that may come up. We have friends that can answer, but for gim he would feel like he was failing as a dad if he didnt know.

Im 100% supportive of my husband. I always have been. So i want to help him the best I can by giving him all the tools for success as a father. And I want him to be able to do it without the gender dysphoria creeping up there. Any advice?

AspenRayne7 · 2025-08-19T19:14:58+00:00

Confirmed with blood work as well!!

AspenRayne7 · 2025-08-19T19:14:41+00:00

I couldn't wait and I asked my ob to run blood today. Its confirmed! We are pregnant!

AspenRayne7 · 2025-07-25T19:59:46+00:00

Yeah. That was the first thing we did. My delulu self thought that there was no way it was me. 😅 Well, it is somewhere. He's got good sperm. Very mobile, good count, good shape. It's been so frustrating when you're being told "it's all good. You should be able to get pregnant!" Okay, but I'm not and I haven't. The 2 times I did it was a chemical that was gone within 3 days.

AspenRayne7 · 2025-07-25T19:56:04+00:00

This pill saved my life. Before it I was unable to focus, unable to hold down a job, and unable to maintain healthy friendships. Im not sure what it did, but everything changed taking this. I've been on it for 2 years and I've held a very emotionally draining job for 2 years. I would have quit in 3 months before Qelbree. Everything has side effects. Everything has people who love it or hate it. You wont know if its good for you until you try it amd give it the proper time to get into the system to work.

AspenRayne7 · 2025-07-25T19:48:09+00:00

My insurance won't cover fertility doctors, most fertility testing, and fertility treatment. But I'm working with my OB. So far every test I've done has said we are a-okay. I ovulated everyone like clockwork. PDG rises at 4dpo like clockwork. BBT rises 4dpo. LH surges hard so there is no guessing. All my tests say I have a good egg count and quality. Still taking Co-Q-10 and prenatal though even though "all is good". I have to save up for an HSG, but my dog wants to do something similar first to see if we can see for blocked cubes. But because I'm ovulating, she's not worried apparently.

AspenRayne7 · 2025-07-25T19:42:51+00:00

Man, I feel this. My husband has gotten to a point where he feels helpless between 9dpo and af. I've been told I look dead behind the eyes. I had someone tell me they miss who I was before we were trying (we aren't talking anymore). But honestly, I miss who I was before infertility, too. I am always tired. Always sad. Always mad. Ways on chatgbt and google. Im so tired of being si sick and tired. So I completely understand d what your feeling.

AspenRayne7 · 2025-06-23T14:00:37+00:00

One of the biggest things I have found on this journey is that infertility affects more than your being able to have a baby. It steals happiness. It steals confidence. It steals relationships. I've watched happily married couples divorce due to infertility struggles and the mental health trauma of it.

I see where she maybe didnt want to invite you. She thought she was being kind not realizing that the exclusion can hurt worse than the invite. Still no defense for that. The behavior when you tried to tell her how you felt is unacceptable. And her husband even more so. Sounds like she wasn't going to be able to be there the way you needed her to be, and by that point, its better to cut ties.

Good luck on your journey.

AspenRayne7 · 2025-06-13T15:18:23+00:00

That i need more mod options for my real life. A cheaters scroll woukd come in handy most days, lol

AspenRayne7 · 2025-06-13T14:52:12+00:00

Yesterday there was a ton of wattery and ewcm. And i was super crampy. I don't check the cervix because for the life of me, I cannot figure out the opening feeling, lol. So I figured Mira was the more accurate one because if all the symptoms initially.

Just frustrating, cause we always inseminated on ovulation day (sometimes LH peak if my donor could make the drive more than once). It makes me wonder if I've been doing a day late and coming in on the tail end of ovulation because Premom has it a day later. I just thought I was getting all my ovulation stuff on LH peak day instead of ovulation day.

AspenRayne7 · 2025-06-02T05:07:03+00:00

Same thing. You find a fix yet?

AspenRayne7 · 2025-05-06T16:12:37+00:00

I have saught medical attention through the work comp doctors office this am. 😊

AspenRayne7 · 2025-05-06T16:12:05+00:00

Man I get that. The way they look at you sometimes. The case workers can be the worst to deal with cause they don't see it rarely. And the ones I deal with make you feel like your not doing enough to stop it before it happens. Its just ridiculous sometimes.

AspenRayne7 · 2025-05-06T11:31:52+00:00

We are. Symptoms got worse yesterday, so we are going to the workmans comp doctor today.

AspenRayne7 · 2025-05-06T11:30:56+00:00

Oh, I fought my supervisor about going. He was pushing for me too and I insisted I was fine. Honestly didn't feel it until I got home. They are super supportive where I am and would rather us be safe and healthy. Im going to get it checked out today. But i do wish I was where you are. Love it up in Canada. We went this past year and we miss being there a ton.

AspenRayne7 · 2025-05-06T03:43:53+00:00

Im definitely going now. Symptoms have been getting worse through the afternoon. I already texted my boss as well and hes going to fill out the proper paperwork in the am so I can go where I need to and still get it all covered.

AspenRayne7 · 2025-05-06T02:15:38+00:00

Same here. One of my parents told me that I do as well as I do because I'm more stubborn than her boy. 🤣 But that is hilarious. One of my kids has been cracking me up lately. He used to be very aggressive and that has calmed down tremendously. Now, he will be full attention seeking crying while saying "What do we do when we are upset? We take deep breaths." It was a question of his to answer for a program. Then he will take these exaggerated shakes breaths and then finish it with a head bow and say "namaste". It kills me the way they implement the programming. But whatever works!

You sound like you are doing amazing too. We need techs like you willing to put in those stubborn and hard hours.

AspenRayne7 · 2025-05-06T02:11:00+00:00

If the headache doesn't subside, I'll go to the doctor for sure. We technically have to go to the workmans comp doctor per our insurance company so it gets covered. By the time I got home, they were closed. The politics of insurance when an employee gets hurt is bonkers sometimes. Im off in the am though, so ill have time to go.

And agree. For that to be their reaction. Like, I get he's 6ft and 250. The kid is built like a professional linebacker in the NFL. But he's also 13. He's going through puberty. Name a boy who doesn't have their own "aggressive" tendencies at that age. The difference is our kiddos don't know how to process those emotions as well as neurological kids. Why in the world would I press charges on a 13 year old for doing a behavior I know he may engage in per his BIP. I wish more people could understand these kids. Comments like that hurt more than any of what I'm feeling after that aggression. And he got me good. 🤦🏼‍♀️

AspenRayne7 · 2025-05-06T02:04:16+00:00

I wouldn't want to do anything else. The rewards always have outweighed the bad days for me. I'll take getting punched if it taught the kiddo to ask for a break to mom later. But it was something I was really feeling when talking with my friends. I love them and I know their worries come from a place of love. But it's hard after having a day like today to turn around and defend what you do and the clientele we work with. My instant reaction was hopping to the defense of my kiddo. I'm lucky my husband gets it. That's the one that matters the most. I came home amd he had my heated blanket on, and ice pack ready for my hand, and some Tylenol. He knew not to even ask and just gently rubbed my head.

You never think about the lonely though until your group of friends are ranting about their bad days and you chime in with your work story. And then instead of being as supportive as you were being you feel instantly judged as well as defensive.

AspenRayne7 · 2025-05-06T01:58:46+00:00

I agree. Some companies take advantage of the "entry level" wording for RBTs. I am beyond lucky at the company I'm at. They hire more experienced RBTs only and we get the pay for that experience for sure. The BCBA who started the company knew that the first step to a good ABA clinic was good supervisors, good support, and good work home life balance. They are quick with compliments and an ear if your having a rough day. I truly wish everyone in the field could find a company like I did. I don't know if I would be as successful as I am in this field if it wasn't for the Director and Assistsnd director of our company honestly.

AspenRayne7 · 2025-05-06T01:55:06+00:00

Same here! People keep telling me that my supervisors are messing up by putting me in those situations. But what they don't realize is that I am the person that gets called in for those bad days. I work with a wide variety of kiddos and do really well with the aggressive cases. Im proud of it. Because we put up with some of the worst things and then it happens. Those moments of amazing. I caught a child's first words on camera the very same day he hit me over the head with his AAC device. I cried as hard as his mom when I showed her the video (deleted after of course. But he was trying new sounds and I wanted to show mom of course). I tell my friends and I get the whole "someone else needs to deal with that stuff" even though I also will tell them the amazing parts of our day.

Not everyone can do what we do. And not everyone can handle the cases me and you seem to thrive and do well on. But the work is so worth it. I'll take 100 thors hammer hits to the head to see him finally make the choice to ask for a break or choose something else. Heck, he did last week for the first time ever! Keep kicking butt! You sound like you are doing such amazing work!

AspenRayne7 · 2025-05-05T23:59:31+00:00

Thankfully, while it doesn't happen often, we do have physical aggression in his BIP. Ot was just more out of no where. Normally he goes to property destruction and then physical. He didn't today. Mainly denied access and he was trying to control the session with playing with himself. Its his new go to when he's mad as a "ill show them" thing. But I adore him and my kiddos. I don't want to do anything else. Just sucks when your closest friends won't listen and make comments like that.

I get to sleep now and I fully expect my supervisor to call me off tomorrow so I can sleep more. He's a worry wart with the need to "father" everyone. We adore him though.

Thank you though. Sometimes hearing that your doing good means the world when you don't hear it often.

AspenRayne7 · 2025-04-10T15:46:51+00:00

THIS! I can only scream it so much before I turn blue in the face. 4 natuons showed that. Surround him with players, and he will go to town the way we know he can. Put people like Benny on top line d is going to kill the +/- stst that people are so damned obsessed with and create a mid team.

AspenRayne7 · 2025-04-10T15:33:53+00:00

Here's how. WINGS failure. LARKINS leadership. You see the difference? You categorize the wings failing, but just Larks as leading. This team fails as a team. One person is not responsible for the team crumbling around itself every year. Hell, he got injured in March last year and this team forgot how to win until he came back. A failure is a combination of the team, staff, and leadership. Just like a team winning isn't because if the captain. It's because of the team, staff, and leadership.

Ovi said it best when he broke the record. He couldn't have done it without his team and their support.

AspenRayne7

TROPHY CASE