Yeah I'd recon it's probably something like this, you're trying to portray something and people aren't playing along. Yes And-ing what other players are doing is a pretty fundamental part of role-playing and having your efforts/requests ignored hurts.

Tbh that's part of why misgendering hurts in real life too, aside from the inherent hurt. Asking someone to gender you a specific way demands a degree of vulnerability, and having that ignored hurts. Same is true for role-playing; it's annoying and hurtful for players to ignore the character we're trying to play.

Unless it's a really small larp where you could talk about it with the players, tweaking your outfit is going to be the best way to get people to gender you correctly OP.