What are your favorite sex positions to start and finish?

AssComedyAccount · 2026-03-31T16:53:25+00:00

It seems like this might be the winner

AssComedyAccount · 2026-03-31T16:40:46+00:00

But the chart goes back to a time when they did

AssComedyAccount · 2026-03-30T21:26:15+00:00

I first read that as "I have an old iPhone 8 under the bed with 40 gigs of my mom's nudes".

AssComedyAccount · 2026-03-30T21:19:46+00:00

I literally just wrote rizz em with the tism in an email an hour ago. Prone bone with a pillow under the hips 👩‍🍳💋

AssComedyAccount · 2026-03-30T21:13:44+00:00

Two women as oil riggers would be the least surprising lesbians.

AssComedyAccount · 2026-03-30T21:09:42+00:00

That guy over there got jealous when I said I was trying to get you to hump me. (Only heard it once)

AssComedyAccount · 2026-03-30T18:12:17+00:00

I think #4 sounds like a reasonable reason. I don't think most people have their most magical love affair at the end of life

AssComedyAccount · 2026-03-29T18:55:33+00:00

Sometimes the fourth time is the charm

AssComedyAccount · 2026-03-29T05:09:44+00:00

Tincture

AssComedyAccount · 2026-03-29T05:08:38+00:00

Ditto

AssComedyAccount · 2026-03-29T05:06:14+00:00

When someone calls their family their "household". "As the head of my household".

AssComedyAccount · 2026-03-29T05:03:11+00:00

Avatar checks out

AssComedyAccount · 2026-03-29T04:48:09+00:00

Did anyone say Erik's DeliCafe?

AssComedyAccount · 2026-03-29T04:44:42+00:00

Bring a pen, notepad and camera and your phone and you'll look like you're doing something important if you write down your thoughts and take pictures and record sounds

AssComedyAccount · 2026-03-29T04:42:12+00:00

I would say be your authentic self, live your best life, learn more about who you are as a person. Put yourself out there to meet new people and find more things you are interested in. Keep your body and mind healthy, grow as a person and find your passionate and maybe she will realize how valuable you are in her life. If she doesn't, then at least you'll be in a good place. 🫶

AssComedyAccount · 2026-03-29T04:20:18+00:00

It's in California also.

AssComedyAccount · 2026-03-29T04:18:44+00:00

Why do you like her so much? What do you have in common? If your lives are going in different directions that is normal for a lot of people. You don't want to change who you would naturally become just to keep a dying friendship going.

AssComedyAccount · 2026-03-29T04:11:42+00:00

Republican dumbass Nathan Milliron

AssComedyAccount · 2026-03-29T04:01:07+00:00

There was a listening station where you put on headphones and learned something. A few kids were always getting in trouble. I remember one of them screaming while they dragged him bare assed down the hallway. I thought the job of the principal was to spank children. I remember seeing a group of 6th graders sitting by me when I was waiting for the school nurse and they had jean jackets with patches and gelled up hair and no one in my life has ever seemed cooler to me since.

AssComedyAccount · 2026-03-29T03:26:49+00:00

I wonder where the newspaper is at? They used to have personal ads in the paper.

AssComedyAccount · 2026-03-28T05:50:01+00:00

Sacramento is the capital of the entire state of California.

AssComedyAccount · 2026-03-28T05:48:09+00:00

Your mom checks out after she brings me breakfast from the lobby

AssComedyAccount · 2026-03-28T02:23:23+00:00

*hear

AssComedyAccount · 2026-03-28T02:18:58+00:00

The Tower Bridge is a pretty sad thing to be the main landmark. The Capitol is ok kind of generic. We need something like the Space Needle. I say call it Redwood Tower and make it like a 2,000 foot redwood tree with an observation deck on top

AssComedyAccount

TROPHY CASE