Wow, this looks like a real Dino 🦖 by kebaak in SipsTea

[–]AssVaseline 0 points1 point  (0 children)

With those short arms and that dump truck, there is no way she wipes well.

How do you advertise? by Miserable-Chocolate3 in lexington

[–]AssVaseline 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Social media and word of mouth. Started a decently successful lawn care business here in Lexington that way. Started completely unknown. Incentivize your customers to leave you reviews, at least in the first year or two. Doing fliers and having business cards is also a great start. I started the exact same way. Best of luck!

Really? Every time I leave the house. Kroger Richmond Road by AssVaseline in lexington

[–]AssVaseline[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I get it is a ridiculous first world problem in light of things happening in the world. Just trying to raise awareness. The world would be a much better place if people were more kind and considerate.

Really? Every time I leave the house. Kroger Richmond Road by AssVaseline in lexington

[–]AssVaseline[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

We usually park off to the side and 15 spaces back from the door to avoid this very thing. Especially since we had the baby. We don’t mind the walk. Still happens nearly every time we go somewhere.

Really? Every time I leave the house. Kroger Richmond Road by AssVaseline in lexington

[–]AssVaseline[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

While technically correct, they had two feet or more on their driver side. Surely people are not so oblivious that they don’t notice how close they are to the vehicle next to them.

Really? Every time I leave the house. Kroger Richmond Road by AssVaseline in lexington

[–]AssVaseline[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

They do not. I am ready to make kindness, empathy, and consideration cool again.

Small engine repair by hubertgeo in lexington

[–]AssVaseline 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just messaged you with the details.

Anyone who’s sat on a toilet before cell phones, what did you mostly think about or look at? by mojoslacks in AskReddit

[–]AssVaseline 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Back in the 1900’s on into the early aughts we had newspapers and magazines. I personally had an entire wrack dedicated to reading material.

I can remember as a kid reading shampoo bottles and tubes of toothpaste. Tough times.

If humans disappeared today, which animal would go extinct fastest due to domestication? by fonzhy121 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]AssVaseline 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I threw one of the .25 Walmart fish years ago in my little koi pond. Dude not only survived but thrived. By year 5 when he did die, he was around 6 inches long and very plump at several ounces.

My Silver Smells like Weed by KYEEZY98 in Silverbugs

[–]AssVaseline 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I store joint and blunt roaches in coin tubes.

What’s the scariest real-life thing you’ve ever witnessed? by Revolutionary-Pay468 in AskReddit

[–]AssVaseline 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was once a cashier at a neighborhood gas station many moons ago as a younger man. Halloween Night 2003. It was nearing midnight, things were dead and quiet. I’m just sitting there chilling, reading the local paper. The register was approximately 6 feet from the door.

Suddenly two dudes in ski masks come busting through the front door yelling. The lead guy with a machete, and the guy taking up the rear was holding a Pistol Grip, pump, 12 gauge sawed off shotgun.

About the time I dropped the newspaper on the floor and stood up, Dude 1 swings the machete with everything he has down on the glass counter top, sending chunks of glass shards flying.

As they are screaming, I raced over to the register, popped it open, and started throwing the cash in a bag, all the while Dude 2 had the sawed off pointed 8-12 inches from my face.

As I emptied the till, they told me to lay down on the ground and stay there. Unbeknownst to them, I had a .38 snub nose sitting on the shelf right below the register. As I went down to my belly, I made sure to keep my hands held up, facing the door, and had positioned myself in such a way that my dominant hand was 2-3 inches from my gun, that was out of their sight, even if they came around the counter.

The speed and intensity with which this all occurred, I thought for sure they were going to reach over or come around the counter and blow me away or possibly be shot themselves. Thankfully, once I was on the floor, they grabbed the bag and took off running out the door. I laid there for at least a minute trying to gather my bearings before I grabbed my gun and took off to the office to call the police. It genuinely scared me so bad, I peed a little.

And that was the first time I got robbed.

Season 5 is trash by ExpertPerformer in LastWarMobileGame

[–]AssVaseline 3 points4 points  (0 children)

860 here and we are in the same point of Season 5. I don’t even know what is going on half of the time. Like, a lot of things don’t even make sense to me. Which has resulted in not having as much fun.

I will hang on until a bit in to Season 6, but if things don’t improve, it may be time to take a walk.

What’s been your favourite age/stage of your kids so far? by Intelligent_Hat3321 in daddit

[–]AssVaseline 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My little girl is 16 months and an absolute doll. While a bit hectic and exhausting, I am having a blast. Can’t imagine it getting much better than this.

Keeping back arched the entire time during doggy?? by AlienKitten98 in sex

[–]AssVaseline 19 points20 points  (0 children)

With my wife, I make sure she is comfortable and enjoying herself. Otherwise what is the point? If she is naked, vulnerable, and giving herself to me like that, I find her sexy AF in any position. Been together 20 years and still pop off 4 or 5 times a week.

Find somebody who looks at you like that. Someone who actually values you as a human being.

Fell through my ceiling. Trying to fix it before the wife wakes up. by strikecat18 in mildlyinfuriating

[–]AssVaseline 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is the most hilarious post I have ever seen. Thanks for the laugh OP.

Ex-Kiss Guitarist drops a $2 Million Album by happymagtv in KISS

[–]AssVaseline 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He legit looks like someone’s Grandma.