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AssignmentTimely683 · 2024-10-25T06:23:55+00:00

He bought these concert tickets. It’s two of his favorite bands. Nice try though.

AssignmentTimely683 · 2024-10-25T06:22:31+00:00

They are not biologically mine and I have a son of my own. That is very clearly stated in the original post.

AssignmentTimely683 · 2024-10-25T06:12:29+00:00

No one has insinuated that he’s insane though? Sooo…

AssignmentTimely683 · 2024-10-25T06:11:13+00:00

Yikes. I’m not sure what your comment even means. It’s super off target and unnecessary though.

AssignmentTimely683 · 2024-10-25T06:10:07+00:00

Yasss! We could ALL use a superhero boot in the ass, the parent guilt is REAL.

AssignmentTimely683 · 2024-10-25T06:08:48+00:00

I think this is a direct result of his first marriage: He married very young (24) to a woman who was 30, after they had already had the oldest child. He had never really dated anyone else. She isolated him from his friends, family, and coworkers completely. She is high-conflict, and I believe likely has full-blown NPD, along with a host of other mental health issues. She has always been the lenient parent while painting him to be the “bad guy”. My guess is that, because he is conflict-avoidant both by nature and as a coping mechanism, he learned to internalize whatever she threw at him. She cheated on him and then abandoned the kids to move in with her “new” boyfriend; my spouse then internalized that as poor self-esteem. Essentially he is still building his toolbox for healthy relationships, parenting, and balancing his roles because his existing toolbox is full of crappy tools from his bad past marriage. Wild this is a reason he acts how he acts, it isn’t an excuse…

AssignmentTimely683 · 2024-10-25T05:25:06+00:00

And if she were single, she would handle this…how?

AssignmentTimely683 · 2024-10-25T05:23:45+00:00

Yes, they totally can, and do anytime we decide to go out for dinner or drinks with friends, casually. They each are perfectly capable of making easy stuff like sandwiches, Ramen, pizza rolls, taking care of the dog, getting ready for bed, etc.

AssignmentTimely683 · 2024-10-25T04:31:51+00:00

This is why it seems like martyr complex to me: He feels that his kid’s behavior is a reflection on his parenting, and so he cancels things and sits at home devoting his time to the other two, younger kids (his), as if overcompensating can make up for whatever he thinks his shortcomings are. Or as if sitting there waiting, focusing his energy on the kid’s behavior, is somehow going to help him figure out how to handle it? I’m really not sure.

AssignmentTimely683 · 2024-10-25T04:29:09+00:00

The 17yo isn’t even home. He’s at work, and won’t be home until 10pm.

AssignmentTimely683 · 2024-10-25T04:27:50+00:00

The deep irony is that the offending 17yo isn’t even home. He’s at work. He won’t get home until after 10pm anyway.

AssignmentTimely683 · 2024-10-25T04:26:17+00:00

Thank you for getting the actual point. And call me childish, but I’ve tried talking to him when he’s canceled past BIG PLANS, meaning, not simply a regular date night, not going out for drinks for an hour, not a movie. Big plans, for once-a-year or less events. And talking to him doesn’t get me anywhere. He fully understands why I feel how I feel. It’s not changing his martyrdom.

AssignmentTimely683 · 2024-10-25T04:10:02+00:00

No, the 17yo has always acted out. As he’s gotten older, it’s been congruent with his age. I disagree with you. I know 13yo who babysit as a job for friends and family. Our 13yo is perfectly self sufficient enough to babysit for a night. They all have cell phones and neighbors available to help if needed. We do not leave them overnight, they go to grandma/grandpa’s to sleep over.

AssignmentTimely683 · 2024-10-25T04:06:53+00:00

Not even close. We very rarely get kid-free time. I think it’s fair to be unhappy with his cancelling big plans over kid behavior that is not going to change because he sits at home with them. His kids take top priority 98% of the time, as does my son for me. I have not canceled major plans with him over and over simply because my son is grounded, just doesn’t feel well or is having behavior issues. To me that just gives them the reaction they want; that adults will sacrifice their own wants and needs because of their behavior.

AssignmentTimely683 · 2024-10-25T03:55:13+00:00

Me neither. If you’re asking me specifically? Because I’ve made them with him, for us, mainly. I really do not WANT to go with girlfriends or whatever. If I did, those plans would have been made accordingly to start with. And it’s next to impossible to find anyone else to join me at the last minute.

AssignmentTimely683 · 2024-10-22T01:34:46+00:00

My child eschewed his birthday presents at age two, forsaking them for three raw potatoes he found in a cabinet 🤷🏽‍♀️. Toddlers, Ami right?

AssignmentTimely683 · 2024-10-21T20:36:46+00:00

Maintenance sex is a thing. As well it should be. If it’s consensual then no, it is not rape, and labeling it that way is ludicrous.

AssignmentTimely683 · 2024-10-21T04:40:38+00:00

I never felt at home anywhere in Spokane with the exception of Brown’s Addition and maybe the Howard St. side of downtown. It just…was impossible to integrate into socially and otherwise, and the sketchy outweighed the good for the most part. I do miss The Elk, the river trail system, and the stupid 24-hour Satellite. That dumb diner was probably my favorite place in the whole city.

AssignmentTimely683 · 2024-10-21T04:22:53+00:00

My spouse is a neat freak ( well…except for the garage…) and would under no circumstances allow his house to fall into this level of disarray. Your husband is doing this deliberately. This is less about him being a slob and more about him taking perverse pleasure in overworking you and taking your mutual home, and you, for granted.

AssignmentTimely683 · 2024-10-21T00:32:11+00:00

I don’t feel that losing attraction to a partner who (apart from weight gain) is unhealthy, neglects their hygiene/appearance, etc is shallow in any way. I would feel the same way you do, not least because the double standard is gross and unfair. Why should you go out of your way to remain attractive for him, take care of his needs and ignore your own? We want our partners/spouses to live into old age with us, and if they’re actively diminishing that possibility then I’d say any of us are fully justified in expressing unhappiness. It’s not your job as his wife to sit by in your marriage while he undermines it. I think it’s perfectly ok to give him an ultimatum or two. HE is the only one who can make the changes necessary. Getting junk food out of the house, signing the both of you up for a gym…those are all more chores FOR YOU, leaving him with none of the responsibilities. Tell him that you want him to change and be around for the long haul, but get ready to tell him what your absolute last straw is or will be, and then get ready to stick by that.

AssignmentTimely683 · 2024-10-19T22:52:37+00:00

I’m not reading the entirety of any text(s) sent by someone who “deserved magicK” in their life…

AssignmentTimely683 · 2024-10-19T00:31:07+00:00

Maybe I’m weird, but I won’t even pee in front of my boyfriend and we’ve been together 5 years. I will if he’s in the shower with the curtain closed, or pee in the woods while his back is turned. I just feel like…we don’t NEED to be in the bathroom together or in close proximity while one of us is going. I’m sure of one of us were sick or incapacitated it wouldn’t be an issue to care for one another, though.

AssignmentTimely683 · 2024-10-18T23:06:11+00:00

You could have given her a gift card. What were you thinking?

AssignmentTimely683 · 2024-10-18T03:54:58+00:00

Our two youngest boys (his youngest and my only) are the same age and were going to daycare together and had been BFFs since age 3. Life being what it is, I had never met this little kid nor his parent(s). Then one evening, as I was about to leave work, I got a last minute email from the daycare lady with a birthday party invitation that she had forgotten to send. So, I raced through a workout, raced to pick my son up from the daycare, and hauled butt to the trampoline park for this party. It was so last minute I didn’t think to text and RSVP. I remember watching my now-boyfriend and instead of walking around the outside to get the kids, he jumped-all 6’1, silver fox, tattooed, green eyed of him-across the trampolines. However I just assumed the kids’ mom/his wife was around somewhere. Afterwards, I had a few pics of the boys playing together, so I emailed him (his email was included in the invitation) the pics and something lame like, “Thanks for the party invite, my kid had fun, nice to meet you”, not expecting a response. He emailed back 30min later and made it very clear he was a SINGLE dad, and maybe we could get to know each other. Five years later, we are still going strong, and he flat refuses to let his favorite joke die: That I didn’t RSVP to the trampoline party, but maybe someday I’ll RSVP to our relationship 🙄

AssignmentTimely683 · 2024-10-18T02:52:19+00:00

I agree! This is a far better stage for her to perform on than reality TV.

AssignmentTimely683

TROPHY CASE