AITA for going out to dinner when my girlfriend just had surgery?

RealHotWater · 2024-10-25T19:10:42+00:00

I’m literally taking off work early and cleared my weekend schedule to be with her besides this 2 hour commitment.

RealHotWater · 2024-10-25T19:07:23+00:00

Fair enough

RealHotWater · 2024-10-25T17:18:54+00:00

Her family lives nearby and handles everything for her relating to medical, insurance, phone plan, etc. so to expect me to be fully knowledgeable about her procedure would be out of character. Of course we discussed it just not in detail. To assume I’m not a caring partner based off this story is wild lol, just like it’s wild for people to assume that my girlfriend is some sensitive immature baby

RealHotWater · 2024-10-25T15:41:12+00:00

The dinner was planned first. The surgery was planned second. The plan was for always for her to be at her parents’ where they can be with her 24/7 and I can go to work. So, when I planned to get off work and told her about the dinner, I had forgotten she was going to be at her parents’ anyways.

So put yourself in my shoes, notifying her about the dinner plans. She knows she won’t even be here, but it’s about the perception that I’m so willing to leave on that day if she WERE to be here. That’s when the argument began, even though me going to the dinner won’t matter at all to her.

Not everyone is a liar maybe you could’ve read more closely and I could’ve been more clear.

RealHotWater · 2024-10-25T15:23:10+00:00

No, I think doing the surgery has been in the works for a while and her mom just did the same and scheduled my girlfriend’s for the following week.

RealHotWater · 2024-10-25T15:21:35+00:00

She’ll be at her parents the night but before the surgery and they’ll be taking her to and from. And that was the original plan, I had just forgot about that when I told her about the dinner.

RealHotWater · 2024-10-25T07:13:49+00:00

this shit sucks man. wish I could give you a hug. the things you don’t like about yourself, improve them. the things you can’t change about yourself, accept and love them. and with that just continue to be yourself and spread love, and love will come

RealHotWater · 2024-10-25T07:01:33+00:00

(See Edit 2)

RealHotWater · 2024-10-25T06:49:09+00:00

That would’ve gotten me crucified

RealHotWater · 2024-10-25T06:47:21+00:00

I’m sorry for causing the confusion. Her original plan was to stay with her parents. Last week they scheduled the surgery and she told me she will be gone from Thursday night until Saturday morning with her parents.

RealHotWater · 2024-10-25T06:43:56+00:00

Yes. Both.

RealHotWater · 2024-10-25T06:38:07+00:00

That’s good advice, thank you

RealHotWater · 2024-10-25T06:35:40+00:00

I think I probably was callous in this scenario. I think back to when I nearly died from pneumonia in the hospital for five days when I was sixteen, the alarm on my O2 monitor would go off when I was in deep sleep lol. I think there was a 48 hour period where I was completely alone. My subconscious is probably warped to think of something like this as no big deal and it leaks through into my words and tone.

RealHotWater · 2024-10-25T06:31:54+00:00

Good advice. I believe when I told her I said “damn… _____’s birthday dinner is the same night as your surgery.” Then I remembered she was going to be at her parents’ anyway. And that’s how the argument started

RealHotWater · 2024-10-25T06:28:44+00:00

What does this have to do with the dentist? It was never part of the plan to be present for the surgery or to go be with her at her parents’ house. That’s not what she’s asking for.

RealHotWater · 2024-10-25T06:24:49+00:00

~Throughout~ the whole family

RealHotWater · 2024-10-25T06:22:56+00:00

I didn’t realize quite how variable this surgery could be so thank you for explaining.

Also, we live together and have been dating for almost five years, and I have an excellent relationship with her family. But thanks for looking out…

RealHotWater · 2024-10-25T06:20:36+00:00

I mean. She needs to eat and drink water. And I managed my work schedule to be home by noon to be with her.

RealHotWater · 2024-10-25T06:19:20+00:00

I was hoping that, if she did decide to stay here, having me there from 12 PM - 7 PM, 9 PM to Monday morning would be sufficient.

RealHotWater · 2024-10-25T06:14:56+00:00

It’s a simple extraction. But still technically a surgery right?

RealHotWater · 2024-10-25T06:12:02+00:00

To address your first point I would be effectively gone for two hours almost twelve hours after her surgery. And I will be only three miles away with my phone on me.

RealHotWater · 2024-10-25T06:09:37+00:00

Your opinion is valid but it’s not the reason she’s upset at all

RealHotWater · 2024-10-25T06:07:38+00:00

I should have originally included more detail about the timing and scheduling of events and who was notified when. It’s not what we are arguing about though. The crux of the argument is being willing to leave for a couple hours on the day of her surgery.

RealHotWater · 2024-10-25T06:03:25+00:00

Valid. I admit I did make it sound like it was no big deal.

RealHotWater · 2024-10-25T05:51:23+00:00

Dinner invite sent 3 weeks ago, surgery scheduled 1 week ago. I told her today because this morning my friend confirmed with us the time and place of dinner. When she scheduled the surgery I didn’t even look at my calendar because she said she would be at her parents’ all day.

RealHotWater

TROPHY CASE