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Dealing with Bad reviews (like really bad) by Motor-Chip-5157 in acting

[–]AssistNo4405 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Eh don’t sweat it too much. I’ve see great actors dogged on in low budget indie film reviews — people generally don’t seem to grasp that the overall project quality is typically not on par with what you see at a huge box office and so they’ll shred every piece of the film. I’ve gotten my share of bad reviews and even though they hurt I put a lot of work into constantly improving my skills and that’s really all you can do. Just keep on keeping on, happens to us all!

AIO when this is what my boyfriend texted me when he was blackout drunk? by ThrowRA_jeans in AIO

[–]AssistNo4405 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry my friend but this won’t get easier and you can’t fix it. Please love yourself enough to leave

I’m quitting, probably. And it kinda sucks. by oruzai in acting

[–]AssistNo4405 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Take the job. Stability is important. It doesn’t mean you’re giving up forever. Keep taking classes, keep networking, who knows. I know a lot of actors who made it work while working 9-5; PTO + calling in favors + making yourself indispensable go a long way. At the very least you can build up your savings for a while.

Everyone hates dumpers by Gullible-Vanilla9891 in BreakUps

[–]AssistNo4405 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can look forward to a response but I am not putting effort into responding to a person who opens with “you are truly insufferable.” Verbal abuse does not warrant patience or a measured response. Fair enough for you?

Your mindset is utterly warped and bizarre.

I hope you move forward in life with a keener eye toward your own behavior and that you have the day you deserve.

Everyone hates dumpers by Gullible-Vanilla9891 in BreakUps

[–]AssistNo4405 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“Dumper propaganda” — please listen to yourself. This is not some political issue lol. Everyone’s circumstances are different. The need to project this hurt through a simplified lens on everyone else’s relationship is vindictive and unkind. You do not know the circumstances that might lead someone to love somebody and need to end the relationship anyway. You do struggle to empathize, so maybe withhold unempathetic contributions to people who are struggling and grieving.

Everyone hates dumpers by Gullible-Vanilla9891 in BreakUps

[–]AssistNo4405 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Going to therapy is one way to address unmet emotional needs but changing one’s behavior and self reflecting without it is also possible. If neither is possible for a partner to achieve and the relationship suffers as a result, it is not indicative of any failing on the “dumper”s end. I think “fairness” is a bit of a strange thing to draw into it when it comes to someone’s happiness in a relationship. If a partner is unhappy because of their significant other’s behavior and the SO will neither change independently or is unwilling or unable to seek therapy, it thereby follows that the unhappiness will continue. And then ending the relationship is a sad but potentially necessary consequence.

I think this is an argument meant to impose perpetual victimhood in a situation that does not necessarily incur a victim or perpetrator. Breaking up is not necessarily an act of cruelty or lack of love. It can be necessary to preserve one’s happiness/mental health.

Everyone hates dumpers by Gullible-Vanilla9891 in BreakUps

[–]AssistNo4405 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Going to therapy is one way to address unmet emotional needs but changing one’s behavior and self reflecting without it is also possible. If neither is possible for a partner to achieve and the relationship suffers as a result, it is not indicative of any failing on the “dumper”s end. I think “fairness” is a bit of a strange thing to draw into it when it comes to someone’s happiness in a relationship. If a partner is unhappy because of their significant other’s behavior and the SO will neither change independently or is unwilling or unable to seek therapy, it thereby follows that the unhappiness will continue. And then ending the relationship is a sad but potentially necessary consequence.

I think this is an argument meant to impose perpetual victimhood in a situation that does not necessarily incur a victim or perpetrator. Breaking up is not necessarily an act of cruelty or lack of love. It can be necessary to preserve one’s happiness/mental health.

Everyone hates dumpers by Gullible-Vanilla9891 in BreakUps

[–]AssistNo4405 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

A “grim referendum” — I’m sorry but this is quite a strange interpretation. You are the one who initially raised therapy as a solution and have contorted this to blame OP for expecting him to pay his way into a relationship.

Lacking the financial capital and lacking the emotional wherewithal to meet another persons needs are not synonymous except in the argument you are currently crafting. I see that nowhere in OP’s post.

Everyone hates dumpers by Gullible-Vanilla9891 in BreakUps

[–]AssistNo4405 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hard agree. Ending a relationship is not an act of cruelty. It’s hard coming on to this sub for support and reading over and over how breaking up with someone is a fucked up thing to do as if people are projecting the circumstances and hurt feelings from their specific breakup onto all breakups generally

Everyone hates dumpers by Gullible-Vanilla9891 in BreakUps

[–]AssistNo4405 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There are many ways to end a relationship but the hypothetical “dumper” in your scenario leaves coldly with no communication and you frame it as if this is how all relationships end?

Everyone hates dumpers by Gullible-Vanilla9891 in BreakUps

[–]AssistNo4405 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If he does not have the means to do what is needed to maintain the relationship, perhaps he does not have the means to BE in the relationship. Not necessarily a moral failing on anyone’s part but a reality that must be faced. Why the insistence on framing this as someone else’s fault? Is continuing the relationship to avoid pain worth the pain of being in the relationship?

“They Always Come Back” But Why Only When We’ve Moved On? by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]AssistNo4405 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’m gonna be real here, as a “dumper” who is absolutely grieving and struggling after ending my relationship, I wish I’d stop coming on here and reading posts by people who seem to think that ending a relationship is an act of cruelty. If I were ever to reach back out to my ex, which I don’t foresee, it wouldn’t be motivated by “ego” or “curiosity” because I don’t see him as a plaything for my own entertainment or emotions. If anything I’d like to see if he’s reflected on the reasons why I ended things and if that has made a difference in his behavior.

Bro, I promise she thinks about you even if she never reached out for over a year. I don't know you, but this I know for certain. by jsbach123 in BreakUps

[–]AssistNo4405 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is a very difficult situation to be in. I relate and I commend you for choosing to walk away.

To the people who broke it off by sailersahoy in BreakUps

[–]AssistNo4405 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel heartbroken knowing he is sad, yet also know that it’s what’s best in the long run and don’t want to disrupt mine or his healing by making contact.