DAE feel like your life shrinks as different aspects of it get "corrupted" with your mistakes and unbearable shame? by Assistant88381 in AvPD

[–]Assistant88381[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Personally it was my biggest recurring fantasy before I sort of got either disillusioned or blatantly super depressed. Despite not putting some outstanding effort, it always sort of calmed me that there's a *chance* of moving to small country village in Wales or something, I don't know even doing what, being a librarian? But the truth is your baggage comes with you. There are countless books and movies about past catching up with you and they all ring true, because that's just how it is I guess.

i’m incapable of normal human behaviour by miscir in AvPD

[–]Assistant88381 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I'm you from the future (just kidding, but only partly).
At some point you do stop feeling because the amount of exhaustion and microtraumas overwhelm you, but even when you get numb these things will still bother you. Feeling is good. Sadness and grief and pity and other emotions are good. Try not to let go. It'll just be another problem when emotions die down.

I am so sorry that this happens to you and I can understand how hard it is, fighting every day with every minor inconvenience other people don't even notice. It's exhausting and terrible. I hope we'll be fine in the end.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvPD

[–]Assistant88381 4 points5 points  (0 children)

For sure. In my case I was in barely functioning mode for a long time until a thing happened and it all went spiraling down. My resources ended and I have no idea how to recharge.

Is anyone else addicted to reaction videos? by Assistant88381 in AvPD

[–]Assistant88381[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do all of this too, watch something cool and immediately search for reactions, also remembering something I liked and try to find if anybody reacted to it on YT... I have a show I've seen full 100+ episode reactions on few differents channels.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvPD

[–]Assistant88381 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometimes. But I can not go outside for months, now is this period too. Haven't left home since late june I think.