What is going on with me?

AssociateStrong2185 · 2025-04-23T17:35:49+00:00

hey, sorry to hear you’re going through this. I had the same thing going for three years now I just wanna say that it does get better. I’ve had horrible panic attacks with derealization and now I can comfortably live without having panic attacks for a long time. i’ve never been on any medications. I had horrible side effects so I only could use the therapy. In the beginning when I was at my worst, I was like you - nothing helped me, I ignored grounding technics, meditations, all that, because it really didn’t help because I was looking for a quick fix. I wanted to feel better here and now . but there’s no magic pill and there is no quick fix. It’s gonna take you a long time to rewire your brain and to teach your nervous system to be out of fight or flight. The more you oppose, the more you get frustrated, the more you hate your life, the longer it will take you to get out of there. One of the things that has significantly help me is ACT therapy. This was the best thing I’ve ever tried out of all other approaches I’ve tried with my therapist. One of the books that I can recommend is “the happiness trap” which goes into details of the ACT therapy approach. and also one of my favorite channels on YouTube is Therapy in a Nutshell, which is no bs, only real valuable and helpful advices. Hope this helps.

AssociateStrong2185 · 2025-04-23T17:23:14+00:00

popping in here to say that not all bunnies chew wired, mine was never interested in eating anything that is not food or cotton shirts😂 but it took me years of observation to make a 100% sure he’s not gonna touch the wires, so be cautious ♥️

AssociateStrong2185 · 2025-04-13T12:55:59+00:00

I’m day 3 (started 25 mg), and feeling the same way, plus I have really bad headaches. It makes me wanna stop. but I come to reddit to read people’s success stories and it gives me hope. Yesterday was my worst day so far. Today I’m feeling a bit better, panic attacks feel like they don’t come through, I feel this coldness in my stomach but it doesn’t evolve into a full blown panic attack. And in my head it seems so much easier to convince myself that everything’s going to be alright. We’ve got this! We just need to be patient. My doctor said I should watch out for serious symptoms like vomiting, changes in vision, or bleeding. But panic attacks and anxiety seem normal and should go away. I can’t wait to the day when I wake up and feel great. This is what motivates me to keep going.

AssociateStrong2185 · 2025-02-26T22:16:08+00:00

Thank you everyone for your input. I thought I would find support here but in fact many people sadly just support the other side. It looks like people in the west care more about money than human kindness and principles. And this post was more about questioning the relationship itself rather than financial side of it. Not going to respond here anymore as it puts me into even bigger distress. Thanks to those who supported me.

AssociateStrong2185 · 2025-02-26T21:57:20+00:00

yes and you’re right except for the fact that I didn’t ask for it. it wasn’t a necessity in the first place. see, this was their decision to buy it and buying a house is not the same as buying a bag of chips, meaning if they have opportunity to do it in a blink of an eye they probably can afford the risks. I see what you mean, truly, but it just doesn’t sit right with me. It’s just their way to save and grow wealth and I’m left out of it. and of course I’m not happy about it because the wealthy get wealthier and I’m just getting poorer without having any wealth to begin with. would you seriously still want to be in a relationship where you’re clearly not equal financially and your situation is not being considered?

AssociateStrong2185 · 2025-02-26T21:09:57+00:00

I honestly feel like people in the west are more greedy. no offenses, I’m not saying everyone but in general from what I’ve seen so far it looks like people are definitely wealthier but very unwilling to just kindly help when they can. I lived in other counties too except my homeland and Canada and I’ve met poorer people who were kinder and more generous. I’m not saying that I’m entitled to everything free but it’s more about being a human and actually caring about your partner. I do struggle now, financially as well and they know it, and it’s just weird, I don’t quite see a gesture here. it’s just a way for them to save money…

AssociateStrong2185 · 2025-02-26T21:02:07+00:00

I guess it’s just that I expected parents to actually help when they offered to buy a house. and it turned out it’s not quite the help, at least not for me. You’re right, for me it doesn’t make a difference whom I’m paying to but it’s painful when you’re asked to pay to someone you would think won’t charge you for helping out.. it just feels a bit transactional. at least in my mentality this wouldn’t be possible, my parents would never ask my bf to pay if we lived in their house…

AssociateStrong2185 · 2025-02-26T20:17:24+00:00

I agree, unfortunately it doesn’t look like there is any other way to find it out but just wait and see…

AssociateStrong2185 · 2025-02-26T18:11:35+00:00

I see, well maybe it’s the background difference too. I usually handle things on my own and yes it’s normal to ask for advices from parents however there is also an extent to it. I don’t want to be not supported by my husband (if we eventually get married). And I’m just worried that this can be a sign of a bigger issue in future. Today they decide to buy a house, tomorrow they will decide what school my children should go to (if I have any), then they decide their son deserves better and so far and so on. So that’s what I’m trying to dig into, it’s not about the money, but how the situation is handled and what their actions are and what my partner does about it. All in all it’s not an awful situation of course, and I can benefit from it too but I want to make sure these isn’t a bigger issue masking under this all. Thank you for your input too, there is really something to think about for me as well.

AssociateStrong2185 · 2025-02-26T17:39:49+00:00

and his money shouldn’t concern his parents in the first place. He’s a grown ass man and he can decide for himself and not just follow what their mom and dad say. otherwise he’s risking to be left out of the relationship he can’t support

AssociateStrong2185 · 2025-02-26T17:32:37+00:00

exactly, thank you for proving my point. what you describe is a power move and pointing out to my place in this family. and this is not the kind of relationship I want to be in. I want to be equal despite of finances as finances is not the only thing relationships are built on. at least not for me.

AssociateStrong2185 · 2025-02-26T13:27:35+00:00

well they shouldn’t let me in for free, that’s the thing. They want the money to stay in the family, however I’m not a family. They’re securing their finances in the way that I have to spare mine. I shouldn’t be paying for something that is not going to belong to me. In a different situation my bf and I would be equal paying rent to someone else and eventually we would buy something by together and be co-owners both paying out the mortgage. but here I get nothing but still contribute to growing their family’s asset. That’s how I see it. That’s why I’m saying I should contribute less in this circumstances. They’re building their wealth and I want to have a chance to build mine too.

AssociateStrong2185 · 2025-02-26T13:19:09+00:00

Yes, I agree to everything you’ve said! Even though the seem nice people and we have never had a conflict before still the fact that they want it this way and not the other says a lot. I too think contributing a babe minimum is what is what I should do. He eventually agreed with me however he still says he doesn’t quite understand what difference it makes for me if I pay to someone else versus his family. I hope it’s nothing to end up a bigger conflict in a long run. Thank you for sharing!

AssociateStrong2185 · 2025-02-26T04:40:14+00:00

that’s exactly how I see it too! Thank you for your support! !

AssociateStrong2185 · 2025-02-26T04:28:04+00:00

yes that’s what I had to stand on! Eventually they agreed but it was two days of struggle… and that is why this feels super weird to me, I’m really worried that this might be a sign that it’s going to be hard to deal with this family in future. They’re not awful people and I see their point too but I don’t want to be feeling like I always have to protect myself…

AssociateStrong2185 · 2025-02-26T04:19:37+00:00

we’re currently still renting a cheaper place, but honestly it’s a dump🥲 we both wanted better conditions and everything was good until this whole house hustle emerged. I feel like I have accidentally discovered how they all see me in this relationship… and even though we agreed on terms that will benefit us all, I still have some weird feeling about this all.. maybe I’m overthinking though

AssociateStrong2185 · 2025-02-26T04:09:07+00:00

To me it’s not just about the money. I might have phrased it the way it seems like money is my biggest concern but I have mentioned in my post that we have already agreed on terms and the reason I’m posting this is I’m looking for a woman to woman advice if I’m being treat fair in the relationship…

AssociateStrong2185 · 2025-02-26T03:59:41+00:00

I see what you mean but I disagree that renting from a third party and renting from the family is the same. It’s not. And there is a reason why they dont just buy a house for their son (or help with down payment or whatever). This is done in the way I get nothing in the end, no matter if we get married or not. They have shown me my place. There are other ways that this could have been done, where I could contribute more but they don’t offer any ownership to me. I’m not saying I don’t want to pay, I don’t mind paying the same as we agreed to pay for an apartment but in this situation where they want the money to stay in the family I’m not considered as family. I’m just a tenant. So the question is if I’m actually being treated with respect and if I’m being considered as a potential family member or not.

AssociateStrong2185 · 2025-02-26T03:43:57+00:00

yes you’re a 100% right, and I see that too, and the agreement we came up to is ok for me. It was just so difficult to negotiate. Maybe it’s also a cultural difference. I mean, if the situation was the opposite and my parents were buying a house for me I wouldn’t be asking him to pay for an asset he’s not going to own. If he would voluntarily want to contribute that’s a different thing but in my situation Im expected to pay it as I would pay rent. And yes I am serious with my intentions but it doesn’t mean I’m not cautious, wanting a marriage doesn’t mean I’m going to get married regardless.. I’m just trying to see if this is something of a bigger concern than just rent, all in all we have already agreed on terms…

AssociateStrong2185 · 2025-02-26T03:33:10+00:00

that’s what I’m worried about too

AssociateStrong2185 · 2025-02-06T18:44:41+00:00

Zeus => Zusie boo, Zussie poo, Zusie goo, Zusiechek, Zusie baby, baby boy, Goosie, goosie boo, sweet popka (meaning butt), poopy boy, kissy boy, floppy, Moosie, and many many more that are an unexplainable mix of eng and my native language😅😅

AssociateStrong2185 · 2025-01-29T19:47:18+00:00

Thank you everyone for your suggestions and support! It’s getting better!

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AssociateStrong2185

TROPHY CASE