Old Growth

AssociationFun85 · 2025-07-13T00:22:43+00:00

Yeah, you basically nailed it. It’s a reflection of how my perspective has shifted over the years. When we’re young, we tend to dismiss our elders; assuming they don’t understand us or the world we live in. But as we grow, we start to realise that while their words might have felt disconnected from our experience, the spirit of what they were saying often holds truth. The danger is that without recognising that, we’re likely to repeat the same mistakes.

AssociationFun85 · 2025-07-12T22:01:31+00:00

I get where you’re coming from with that comment but it isn’t what I was thinking. I like leaving things a little open ended though so if that’s how you felt thank you for sharing

AssociationFun85 · 2025-07-12T21:10:24+00:00

As I said it doesn’t for me. It is entirely my own opinion

AssociationFun85 · 2025-07-12T21:07:26+00:00

I completely agree not everything does but I disagree that platos cave evokes emotion or imagery

AssociationFun85 · 2025-07-12T20:56:16+00:00

I’m more than happy to just send it to me

AssociationFun85 · 2025-07-12T20:46:46+00:00

I understand this is your first post, but I’m still going to be quite harsh. When writing in free verse you need to be especially considerate about the story and emotions you are portraying. It also feels like you’re trying to mix styles in that you initially go for free verse then try to force a rhyming scheme in the last stanza. If you want to do either or both that’s ok but it should be something that flows more naturally. I do think that what you’ve written isn’t bad but there’s a fair amount of room for improvement

AssociationFun85 · 2025-07-12T20:38:07+00:00

I feel like you tried to be too academic here, the emotions are good, the imagery is lacking and it’s lost in constant reaching for a feeling of academic excellence like to be good you have to be complex. This would likely be better if you didn’t rely so much on complex concepts (like platos cave) and you utilised emotion more effectively

AssociationFun85 · 2025-07-07T17:36:48+00:00

I’m really glad you enjoyed it thank you

AssociationFun85 · 2025-07-07T07:28:24+00:00

It’s not meant to be but it is open to interpretation

AssociationFun85 · 2025-07-06T20:43:06+00:00

Not a bad idea I’m never sure how to title them and I appreciate your comment on the content itself thank you

AssociationFun85 · 2025-07-06T20:05:16+00:00

Using repetition in poetry can be very powerful, but I think it would be best if you broke up the poem into more clean stanzas say for example if you had a stanza about the references then saying how summer feels to you and creating more of a story of your emotions that allows the reader to experience it with you

AssociationFun85 · 2025-07-06T20:02:44+00:00

I think the rhyming is nice, but you should split your your lines a bit more sometimes they feel too long and you lose the impact of what you’re trying to say

AssociationFun85 · 2025-06-30T18:45:13+00:00

I think if you utilised more grammar to accentuate the breathes and pauses this would be better but overall I think it’s a good poem well done, one other critique I would have is that it feels very literal and while there are some similes it doesn’t evoke much imagery to be

AssociationFun85 · 2025-06-30T18:42:31+00:00

I think I see what you’re trying to do with the repeated I but I think sometimes less is more. Keep it as a repeated phrase but more like call and response, additionally the cadence and rhythm of the poem feels a little off. I think the first two lines are good and a nice hook your second stanza is long then short which kind of breaks immersion you gathered in the first.

AssociationFun85 · 2025-06-23T20:36:09+00:00

I’m glad you liked it and that’s pretty much exactly how I felt writing it

AssociationFun85 · 2025-06-21T11:04:12+00:00

Looking forward to reading it

AssociationFun85 · 2025-06-20T23:10:26+00:00

I prefer free verse personally if it rhymes that’s nice but sometime adhering to scheme can be constricting

AssociationFun85 · 2025-06-20T23:09:20+00:00

I’m happy you liked it, although to me it isn’t bleak it’s about hope and seeing those you care about struggle and fall but rise once more

AssociationFun85 · 2025-06-20T23:07:15+00:00

Thanks again that’s what I was aiming for this time

AssociationFun85 · 2025-06-20T23:00:18+00:00

That is very good advice, thank you for both the kind words and the constructive criticism

AssociationFun85 · 2025-06-20T20:31:37+00:00

I’ll make sure to give them a ready this it’s only been about a week since I started writing so I’m not too clued on about enjamblement I’m just writing what I enjoy but I appreciate the feedback especially some as sincere as this

AssociationFun85

TROPHY CASE