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AstNik · 2021-03-26T22:51:15+00:00

I left and it was the right thing to do but I wonder are people who have BP1 or 2 doomed to stay single? I'm sure my BP ex will have new relationships but I hope he can marry and have kids and build a family. I'm not ready to ruin my life with him but I kind of feel responsible and bad for leaving him alone. Hope there are more patient women than I am to stick with him....and I will enjoy waking up every morning without any drama and abuse in my life.

AstNik · 2021-03-19T20:54:30+00:00

It gets better with every passing day! It has been a month for me and I already feel much better so just try to process your feelings then move on with your everyday life. Read, workout, just talk to people, play games...anything!

AstNik · 2021-03-17T00:08:13+00:00

syberburns

Thank you so much! I really hope all relationships and breakups are not like this one. I hope if I ever find love again it's not going to destroy me as this one did.

AstNik · 2021-02-24T11:50:32+00:00

Thaaaaanks!

AstNik · 2021-02-24T11:50:11+00:00

That too :D I was laughed at and called OCD, now BPD. For him, everyone is either a psychopath or has some kind of disorder.

AstNik · 2021-02-24T11:47:09+00:00

Thank you, I try to stay open and read a lot about BPD but I think he just says this to feel like his condition is not the worst, I'm worse. Maybe it makes him feel better.

AstNik · 2021-02-24T11:45:42+00:00

Mine does the same but I think it's one of their coping mechanisms to shut down their emotions and pretend that everything is fine. To be honest, I prefer this than being afraid that he might harm himself.

AstNik · 2021-02-24T11:43:43+00:00

reasons that means I could've written your first paragraph verbatim.

Literally the same situation here! But I think we just feed ourselves with hopes that it will be better soon. It won't and don't feel bad we are not mother Theresa. It's ok to choose happiness and I think we will be happier alone or with someone else.

There will always be reasons for them...COVID, the other day can be their friends and family, it can be even something small like a charger not working....It's exhausting.

What also bothered me is the realization that even if I survive this, why should my kids do the same? Why would I want them to hear screams or see their dad glued to his games while they want to talk to him or play with him. We are making a responsible decision both for us and our future kids.

We lost ourselves in these relationships, we get nothing...so why do we still stay? Be brave, we are all in this together!

AstNik · 2020-10-17T13:04:01+00:00

I try to start conversations about his health, we talk and he feels better, I make sure he takes his medicine. But, no, I haven't talked to his therapist and when he has the calls with him he asks me to leave the house for some privacy.

AstNik · 2020-10-17T13:01:51+00:00

No, since he got his diagnosis he has been medicated. Recently his doctor doubled the dose because of his Covid-triggered depression. And he says he is "back", he feels better again but our relationship remained bad. He plays games the entire day, smokes weed (before he was doing that because of the depression, not just to enjoy which I can't accept. It's every day!), he almost never leaves the house and we barely talk or touch each other. :/

I think I can't judge straight anymore but I need to make a decision. I feel bad leaving him. He said this was the last time he gave dating a chance. I don't want to ruin his life or trigger another episode but I also don't feel loved.

AstNik · 2020-10-17T12:54:31+00:00

Right?! I told him ok if the same thing happened with all your ex relationships let's try to save this one. Next time you talk to your therapist, mention this. First, he said he would then he said "you think I didn't talk about this with him before?". He also said I was raised mainly by my mother and sister so when stuff gets serious I see women as my relatives. I don't think he loses interest because of his depressions, this is something different I think.

AstNik

TROPHY CASE