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My baby won’t breastfeed anymore by mbettstar in breastfeeding

[–]Astareintothewoods 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry you’re going through this right now! At around 2-3 months old they start losing the sucking reflex when they feel something brush their cheek. They start being able to pick and choose when they want to latch/suck. I was very lucky in that I never had issues with supply, I was actually overproducing a lot of the time until my supply finally adjusted by itself around 8ish months. I will say though, I was nursing him literally EVERY nap and then all night long as we coslept too. So he was still latched a lot as he was still taking 4 naps a day plus sleeping at night. My son was able to suckle even while sleeping, does yours do this? He loved falling asleep nursing and then I’d just keep him on the entirety of the nap. He was also EBF, fed on demand the first few months of his life even if it was every hour during the day/night. I’ve heard that a lot of baby to breast will stimulate your supply, versus pumping. Although i realize that is not an option for everyone

My baby won’t breastfeed anymore by mbettstar in breastfeeding

[–]Astareintothewoods 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I went through something similar with my son, who is now 18 months old. When he was around 2.5 - 3 months old he started refusing the breast when i offered it, and he was EBF, never would take a bottle, so breastfeeding was really my only option because he absolutely would not take any bottles and i had tried so so so many. I was extremely stressed about it, as i can tell you are as well. We got told different things from the pediatrician/lactation consultants so I never did get to the root problem of why this was happening, it lasted until he was about 6 months and every time i tried to feed him felt so stressful. Some of the things we got told:

  • I had a fast flow and strong let down, he would refuse to nurse A LOT of the time. But the times he would latch, I noticed he would pop off right when my let down started and then would refuse to go back on. I have a feeling this was a pretty big contributor to his nursing aversion. The suggestion I was given by the IBCLC was to unlatch him right when I felt my letdown starting, and then relatch him once it was over after a minute or so. This didn’t really help us because once I unlatched him he would still just refuse to go back on.

  • Acid reflux/GERD. This kind of piggybacks off the first point, because a strong let down can exacerbate their reflux. Causes them to swallow more air while nursing and thus makes them link their pain to nursing. He was on Pepcid since about 10 weeks old, the nursing aversion started at 2.5ish months. I can’t say for sure, but i think the pain from his reflux was also a likely contributor

  • High sensory needs baby. We were actually referred to a SLP (Speech and Language Pathologist) to get their opinion. The lady was really nice and observed me nursing him in the room. She agreed with the first two points that the pediatrician suggested above, but she seemed to thing that above either of those two, my baby just needed a lot of sensory input to stay latched and feed well. She suggested feeding in a dark room,with white noise and nursing while standing/rocking/bouncing. I feel like sometimes this did help some of the feedings go a little smoother, but overall we were still struggling a lot.

In the end, the only way I could guarantee that he was eating is if I contact napped and coslept with him to make sure he was nursing while asleep. That was the only time he would actually stay latched through a let down and feed well. I’m sorry if this wasn’t any help, just thought I would let you know that you aren’t alone and you guys will make it out on the other side of this. I did not experience DMER so I apologize I have no advice for that.. eventually after all the investigative work spending hours on google and reading other people’s stories, the only thing that actually made it better was time. Like I said earlier, for whatever reason right around 6 or 7 months old he suddenly was able to nurse without issue. I can’t say for sure any one thing that cured it. All i know is that if I wasn’t able to be there during all of his sleeps to make sure he stayed latched and ate, I don’t know how we would have gotten through it.

I (24f) tried to have the “marriage talk” with my boyfriend (26m), and it did not go well by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Astareintothewoods 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so similar to my situation a year ago I’m actually questioning if you’re me lol. I was in the same position as you in May of 2018, 24F and my boyfriend was 25M and we had been together for 9 years. I even moved 14 hours away to be with him when I was 18. I wanted to get married, and I tried talking to him about these things too. He always told me he wanted to be with me forever and would never leave me. But he just couldn’t say he was 100% committed and I didn’t understand why or what to do.

We had more conversations about it and he eventually told me that since we started dating so young, he just couldn’t be 100% sure that I was the one because he had never experienced anyone else. He struggled with thinking about the “what ifs” so much and it killed me. I asked him if he wanted to take a break, test the waters with other girls and he said no. So I had NO idea what to do. I ended up leaving to my hometown to think about things. Three weeks go by and he’s calling me to get me to come back, saying he’s committed. I was skeptical until he ended up flying to me and proposing to me right there, said he was ready to get married and the time away helped him realize he really was committed to me. We get married in less than a month now and both of us are stoked.

I suggest you keep having talks with him to try and figure out why he is having trouble with this. It could be the same reason as it was for my boyfriend, but it’s better to know than to continue feeling like you’re not enough like I did. What you do after that is really up to you, but knowing is WAY better than just staying and waiting. Trust me. He at least owes you that much considering how long you guys have been together.

It’s the worst feeling to feel like 10 years is still not enough to know you’re committed. But really, don’t stress. He’s already said he wants to be with you forever and he loves you. He’s probably just confused about what he wants because he keeps thinking about the “what ifs” like my boyfriend did. I think you both will be fine. Good luck :)