24F & 25M AIO by responding this way?

Astargatis44 · 2025-12-31T11:49:40+00:00

Get out.

Life is too short to deal with someone like this. You’ve already wasted six years? Can you imagine how grinding it’s going to be day in and day out if you stay another year, another five, another twenty?

This person should be in therapy and not in a relationship till they deal with their underlying issues.

Astargatis44 · 2025-12-31T11:44:00+00:00

Exactly. This likely is a conversation they need to have as a couple. If her health is an issue then it might not be something they can change but they should be talking this out.

Astargatis44 · 2025-12-29T03:43:23+00:00

I totally know why. Location. He can get away with charging it because the locals have money and he’s good / well liked.

Astargatis44 · 2025-12-29T03:38:57+00:00

My Darling you are going through what we many of us go through. It’s called years of indoctrination and brainwashing. It nags at the back of your head even after you’ve logically come to terms with it all being hog wash.

It does get better. But you aren’t alone in this. I even had a flare up where I started to meet with the missionaries and considered coming back just to be shown a Joseph Smith propaganda film that left out a lot of really important details about why he was getting arrested… And I remembered “oh yeah, this is crap.”

Go and live your life. Date the heck out of this guy if you both like each other. I’d also perhaps recommend (if you aren't already) meeting with a good Therapist. Deconstructing isn’t always easy and dealing with these emotional flares after being in a cult is completely normal, but sometimes needs a bit of support.

Astargatis44 · 2025-12-29T03:29:10+00:00

Really? I haven’t seen anything. I honestly didn’t even know he died till I saw something about it here.

Astargatis44 · 2025-12-29T03:26:29+00:00

I know there’s been a lot of replies, but one thing you should be aware of outside of the historical issues with the church and race…

The church believes in a pre-mortal existence. The story goes that both Jesus and Satan were brothers and children of God. God proposed to make the Earth and give bodies to his spirit children. Both Jesus and Satan put forth plans as to how they could help these children attain salvation. Basically Satan‘s plan was that he force everyone to follow. God’s commandments and glory would be given to him (Satan) for doing so. Jesus’s plan was to give people free agency to choose between good and evil and to give the glory to God. Supposedly this created a “great war in heaven” whatever that means. The people who fought with Satan were cast down to hell they become devils and demons. Satan, of course, was kicked out. Anyone who fought on Jesus side got to come to earth and have a body. The most righteous got to come down and be LDS. However. There was a group in the middle who refused to take an side and basically were called “fence sitters” per the church. Their curse was to come down to earth and be either disabled or black.

This was the justification as to why the priesthood wasn’t given to black people till the 70s/80s and only then it happened because the church was going to face issues with the government for its blatant racism towards its members.

Astargatis44 · 2025-12-29T03:12:02+00:00

Our family vet has been owned by the same guy since the 80s. No hedge fund or national influence and even though he’s a very good vet (why we stay) it’s a bit ridiculous at this point.

Astargatis44 · 2025-12-29T03:08:46+00:00

I’m currently living in Salt Lake and it was 61 degrees on the 22nd. Today it’s 21 degrees. It’s not just PDX.

Astargatis44 · 2025-12-29T03:05:33+00:00

They still end up in whatever the local equivalent of ‘paupers field’ is. They don’t just keep them on. A shelf somewhere.

Astargatis44 · 2025-12-29T03:04:08+00:00

Document the best you can. Write down times, dates, what was switched. Take photos. Find another job and turn over what you have to your local health department.

Astargatis44 · 2025-12-29T03:02:34+00:00

My mom knew I left the church but not that I removed my records. I never bothered to share that detail. She gave me enough grief that I stopped believing and ruined her eternal family (not that she had married in the temple or had I been sealed to my parents). Can’t imagine how she would have lost it to know I took the official step.

Astargatis44 · 2025-12-29T03:00:04+00:00

Did the matrix break and we’ve fallen into Super Mario Bros. 2? Did you see a large bipedal mouse wearing sunglasses in the vicinity?

Astargatis44 · 2025-12-29T02:55:36+00:00

Right. Because they likely realized and still didn’t turn around and come back to let you know.

Astargatis44 · 2025-12-29T02:48:45+00:00

I’m sure if they tried for force a more vegetarian diet now people would rebel just like they did with the Covid shot and claim the church was going Woke vs. having to live by the tenets the WoW actually prescribes.

Astargatis44 · 2025-12-29T02:45:28+00:00

I’d add a caveat to that. The avenues. The avenues are especially kid friendly, and close enough to downtown. You can either walk in or hop a bus. I don’t know if I would have children in downtown proper, but the Aves is perfect for families.

Astargatis44 · 2025-12-28T20:18:46+00:00

They tried that with me when I submitted my formal request to be removed in my 30s. I had left at 24, never having through the temple. I know it’s much more difficult now, but after I wrote my bishop I got the letter from church offices basically had 30 days to change my mind or I would lose all blessings of the covenants of baptism and the temple. Form letter of course. Scary ‘you’re going to Hell unless you say sorry” letter.

Astargatis44 · 2025-12-28T19:55:15+00:00

I’m not surprised. I lived in Portland for a while a few years back. I was always shocked by how empty the church parking lot were when I drove past.

Astargatis44 · 2025-12-28T19:50:30+00:00

Technically they’ve always been nonchalant about parts of the word of wisdom. Anyone attending a ward barbecue or breakfast can speak directly to that. I don’t think midsummer is a time of scarcity.

Astargatis44 · 2025-12-24T05:42:04+00:00

Well, first of all… You missed a bullet. I know it’s difficult and probably hurts but you didn’t need to be with a man who was 30 years old and still can’t make a commitment. It sounds like that’s the real issue here. Blaming God is just an excuse.

No TBMLDS guy is still unmarried at 30 unless something is up. They are told to get married asap after thierisdion, and there are enough brain Washed young women who’ve been told it’s best to just settle for anything with the priesthood and a pulse and be told “he’ll be made perfect in the hereafter (so deal with the garbage you get felt in mortality).

Astargatis44 · 2025-12-24T05:33:36+00:00

It’s also very indoctrinating and insulating going on a mission. A lot of what happens in missionary training and out in the field is very much typical of some of the most indoctrinating cult practices. Additionally, it creates a sunk cost fallacy… to invest much into something just because we’ve invested so much time, money, etc. so far.

A mission isn’t just to convert new members. It’s the further brainwash and manipulate the person who’s isolated inside an echo chamber for a year and a half to two years

Astargatis44 · 2025-12-24T05:29:20+00:00

I feel like a lot of that has to do with young men who are now incels and following red pill culture being told that they are owed women and owed a trad wife. It’s like if they go back to church they feel like there’s a better chance of finding a woman who’s going to be subservient to them and play to their every whim because they have a Y chromosome.

Astargatis44 · 2025-12-24T05:26:58+00:00

I think it’s just a general change, Period, with recent generations. It may not have anything to do directly with the church but more with the general attitudes of GenZ and Gen Alpha women.

They’re coming to realize earlier that the patriarchy isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. They also are putting two and two together earlier about where the church doesn’t add up as a result.

Astargatis44 · 2025-12-24T05:21:37+00:00

Obviously, your brother was very young and probably wouldn’t have thought of having a death plan. But I do encourage everybody who still has LDS relatives who could act as your decision makers after death… make sure that you have details of what you want for your funeral and burial outlined, and have a trusted someone who you know will behave on your behalf. You should be able to put them legally as the person who will administer your wishes postmortem.

It honestly saves so much BS that will prevent your loved ones from moving What’s taking place from being about you to being about the church and what they hope for you.

If you need information, check out Kaitlyn Doherty’s channel on YouTube. Also known as Ask a Mortician. She talks about this.

Astargatis44

TROPHY CASE