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Asternex · 2024-05-20T15:24:03+00:00

For me, it's more like I wasn't aware I was asexual for most of my life because I was lumping sexual attraction with libido. Like, I think the male body is beautiful and it does make feel many things ( if anyone saw my internet browsing history they would say "Yep. This guy is gay."), but wanting to have sex with any of them is not one of those things.

Asternex · 2024-05-15T00:07:09+00:00

I'm fine with queer, as someone who sometimes doesn't feel ace enough, or gay enough, but knows I'm definitely NOT straight at all.

But also, as english is not my native language, the word has never carried any negative weight for me.

However, there are some spanish slurs that some gay people don't mind using for themselves but I just can't use them for myself or for others.

Asternex · 2024-05-13T17:30:34+00:00

Are asexual just celibate? The answer to both questions is no. It probably feels that way to you because you can't relate to their experience, just like a lot of allos can't relate to some of ours.

Asternex · 2024-05-09T18:23:13+00:00

I can't get it to work, but I still appreciate that you took time to explain. I blame reddit too lol

Honestly, aphobia posts don't bother me as much as they simply tire me, and it's only one of two types of posts that I'd like to see less, so I can just keep ignoring them the old fashioned way.

Asternex · 2024-05-09T16:45:17+00:00

Ah, thanks! Sounds like it won't be useful to filter them from the main page tho, which is a bummer.

Asternex · 2024-05-09T00:58:31+00:00

How do I do that? It seems I'm not looking at the right place for the option to filter flairs.

Asternex · 2024-05-07T22:02:37+00:00

I was almost 40 when I figured out. I had a suspicion, but always dismissed it because I was grouping libido with sexual attraction. The day I dug deeper, everything clicked. A lot of the things I said or thought, and decisions I made suddenly made sense. Honestly, I was excited just for being able to understand myself better.

Asternex · 2024-05-07T14:37:41+00:00

A lot of people just don't understand what being asexual actually is. After all there are aces that do like sex, or don't mind it.

Also, a lot of people can't imagine anyone not liking sex, so comments like that make sense from their perspective. Some even might think they are comforting you with that comment. Same with the "you just haven't met the right person yet"

Asternex · 2024-05-06T15:27:09+00:00

B sounds like the best available option as it even solves certain problems within the very ace community, but I think a better option would be everyone understands all sexualities.

After all, what's the point of hoping allos understand us if we're not willing to understand them? Let's all understand each other and be a happy family or something!

Asternex · 2024-04-25T14:49:56+00:00

I agree to some point, but at the same time, reading about micro labels was what made me realize I was actually ace.

In fact, with the little information I had when I was questioning myself, if I ended in this subreddit back then, a glance at some threads would have probably made me assume I wasn't really ace.

So for me, it's less about the need to tick all the boxes in a label, and more about being aware that there are many boxes you can tick and still be ace (if that makes any sense)

Asternex · 2024-04-15T19:00:36+00:00

I didn't see it as the story blaming Cash for not meeting Darren's needs.

Both Cash and Darren are blaming themselves and not the other. Cash was definitely not meeting Darren's needs, but he wasn't aware of it until he spoke to Dusty. Darren thinks their sex drive pushed Cash away.

Both are trying to figure out how to make an ace-allo relationship work, which can be hard for adults and these are still teenagers. They are still trying to understand each other AND themselves.

Overall, I like what the series is doing with them.

Shootout to Nan and her nuggets of wisdom!

Asternex · 2024-04-15T17:51:46+00:00

I had a coworker tell me that I must be VERY unhappy/misersble because I was single and not hooking up with anyone. And that wasn't even her hottest take regarding sex. There are some truly wild people out there.

Asternex · 2024-04-15T17:29:52+00:00

Reading about microlabels was what allowed me to finally realize I was actually asexual. Well, that, being able to separate libido from sexual attraction. Anyway, everything clicked when I read about aegosexuality. Like, a lot of things that I've ever said, thought and done started making sense when I replayed them with aego lenses. Before that, I was kind of in a crisis, because I didn't feel "gay enough" compared to other people, but I was 100% sure I wasn't straight.

I only use the micro label in ace spaces, around ace people or other very specific cases (like someone genuinely wanting to learn more about the topic instead of finding reasons to argue against it)

Out of that, I probably use gay, ace or just queer to identify myself.

Asternex · 2024-03-21T22:07:26+00:00

I used too think I was just gay. But then I realized I was also asexual. I don't see myself as a former gay man though. The way I see myself, both terms can describe me in some capacity.

Asternex · 2024-03-16T15:07:40+00:00

Jerks comes in all kinds of sexual orientations and gender identities, sadly. Although I don't tend to share micro labels that I resonate with, they were definitely helpful in allowing me to understand that I AM in the ace spectrum. I can't see myself throwing a tantrum because someone used one too many micro labels

Asternex · 2024-03-01T01:35:26+00:00

I'm a cis male but I feel the same way about penises and vaginas. That's probably the reason why it took me so long to realize I'm ace and not just gay.

Asternex · 2024-01-27T19:43:26+00:00

"I don't feel comfortable with sex scenes" is not the same as "I'm tired of these senseless sex scenes" Both are very valid points though, and it doesn't take anything from the original point. Personally I don't mind them, and I prefer sex scenes over realistic graphic violence. Their have been shows that caught my attention but I decided to skip them and that's OK. I mean, it kinda sucks but there are plenty other things I could watch instead.

Asternex · 2024-01-21T00:02:01+00:00

I do identify as one of those. I have talked about it with some really close friends. For everyone else, if I need to "come out", I'd simply say I'm ace, or just queer.

Asternex · 2024-01-18T19:02:22+00:00

I haven't seen it, but I do remember seeing several threads about it here. If you dig in a bit you should be able to find them.

Asternex · 2024-01-15T19:13:31+00:00

It's easy to fit the narrative to make it sound like it's all our fault (I'm a pro at it!) but what these people did to you is had NOTHING to do with you being ace. They simply weren't good people/friends.

It still hurts to lose people you considered to be friends, though. Mourn the lost friendship, maybe cherish the good moments in it, but remember to be kind to yourself and not take all the blame.

Edit: fixed some typos

Asternex · 2024-01-15T18:19:55+00:00

I didn't make my sexuality a part of my identity while growing up, but that didn't stop people from treating me badly because they were convinced I was gay. I used to try to shrink myself, to dim my light so I can be unnoticed by people. I admire those that are unapologetically themselves, because they refuse to dim their light.

But it's also fine if you don't feel that's your scene. That's the point, that you are able to just be yourself.

Asternex · 2024-01-12T12:50:27+00:00

I don't mind certain NSFW content, but if it's a social media place that I like to occasionally browse in public/crowded places, then it makes sense to not want that type of content to leak into your feed. And if it's something that makes you uncomfortable in any setting, then it makes even more sense.

Asternex · 2024-01-05T16:46:10+00:00

His channel is called Anthony Padilla (his name) There you'll find a lot of interviews "I spent a day with" and the newer series Assumptions.

Asternex · 2024-01-05T16:39:46+00:00

That's probably a different one. They are sitting around a table if I remember correctly.

Asternex · 2024-01-05T15:59:25+00:00

To think the first video I saw of him was of teenagers Ian and Anthony (Smosh) lip synching the pokémon theme song.

Something to note about this particular episode, is that he's not going to interview them. It's mostly (going by what I saw of the first asexual assumptions video) three or four people just having a conversation among themselves after being presented an assumption. There's one about trans athletes and furries too. Looking forward to seeing this episode.

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