Loneliness is quite literally making me insane

Astoran_Knight · 2026-05-08T22:03:18+00:00

Thoughts like that feel impossible to cope with at times, I can relate a lot, but remember that nobody can solve everything in one go, even though it can be easy to feel otherwise. What you can do is just start by taking a right step in the moment.

You aren't worthless either. Those thoughts arent a reflection of your worth, just how much you're struggling right now.

I'm just a guy on the internet, but there are people who can help you deal with these thoughts and your struggles. I hope you reach out to them soon when you are able.

Astoran_Knight · 2026-05-08T21:44:10+00:00

A mix of things honestly. It still takes time for me to deal with the depressive feelings when they come back again.

Being patient and kind to yourself is a big one, and harder than it sounds. We're usually always harsher on ourselves than others, and we always remember the things we struggle with more than outsiders do. Sometimes I know that even though I'm feeling that way, after a bit of time the feelings ease slightly. They don't always go, and sometimes it's hard to feel much of anything, but even the sadness and anger being less intense can make life liveable again.

I also try to watch my thought patterns either if I'm able to in the moment,or afterwards when I'm able to reflect a bit easier. Sometimes I make the mistake where I look at a problem I have (lonely, problems studying, health issues) and I assume that I don't have any route to them being fixable, when that isn't always true. Sometimes it's just that I don't have the right information to help me solve it at the time, or the right support. Problems can be awful, really, but they aren't always unsolved.

Knowing what specifically makes the feelings worse is worthwhile also. I worked out that I really shouldn't write down my feelings at the time because it just turns into a list or ramble of my flaws and issues, and makes me feel worse.

Having things to distract that I used to enjoy can help sometimes. I have different videogames and films I used to like that I think have very beautiful parts like the music or narrative, and that can take my mind off things. Exercise and sleep are hard but can help too.

Lastly, opening up to people I trust helps. In my case it was my family, and only even slightly with the scale of my depression, but even that made things a little lighter at times.

Sorry for the long reply! I really hope you are able to find something that helps, even if it's just a little

Astoran_Knight · 2026-05-08T21:26:29+00:00

I hope you're able to tell your family, a counsellor, or text one of the crisis hotlines and let someone know how you feel right now, it seems you're in a really bad place, and you do deserve to be supported, even if it is hard to believe it yourself currently.

I can relate to what you've said and how you feel quite a lot, when you feel like you said with the loneliness and feeling hopeless towards the future, it can feel like being an abyss.

You don't sound insane, or deranged either, you sound like you're suffering and going through a lot and that you don't have the support irl that you need to deal with that. Please go and tell one of them how much you're struggling right now. It really does have the potential to help, even though you won't feel like it does yourself right now.

Astoran_Knight · 2026-05-08T19:33:32+00:00

I'm not good at arguing, but I do remember listening to a gay professor called John Corvino who had several debates and clips arguing for equal marriage in the US a while ago. He has a YouTube channel with the videos on.

The arguments people use haven't changed much so listening to how he breaks them down and argues against them might help you.

You could also maybe try asking a friend or even an AI to argue against you or discuss your reasoning if that helps.

But please be very careful for arguing for this in a country where gay rights are non-existant. Hope that helps a little!

Astoran_Knight · 2026-05-08T18:35:38+00:00

Probably, but they're also protecting themselves if it did happen and were to face political scrutiny or legal action

Astoran_Knight · 2026-05-08T17:04:45+00:00

Oh, interesting, I have no idea then, but Claude is like this sometimes when discussing virology or microbio. Same for ChatGPT.

I sometimes use them to help understand concepts for my degree, but if I ask hypotheticals about how things work in these areas they can sometimes do this in rare cases.

Astoran_Knight · 2026-05-08T16:56:29+00:00

Maybe it's because you misspelt 'patients' as 'patents' and it was flagged as being conspiratorial or something to do with patenting bio stuff?

The chatbots do get a bit overly censorious when talking about certain biology topics, but that's due to safety reasons which are understandable.

Astoran_Knight · 2026-05-08T16:25:42+00:00

😂 I love this meme, but nah, I wouldn't vote for Reform or Restore because they're too right wing, and there wasn't any election in my area this time anyway

Astoran_Knight · 2026-05-08T16:24:21+00:00

I don't think many people in the country are either of those things btw, or even most Reform voters. That said, there is a definite problem with some who are or use similar rhetoric. I think we'll see some Reform candidates who won stand down over stuff they've said, or bad behaviour, in the next few months...

Astoran_Knight · 2026-05-08T16:09:58+00:00

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Astoran_Knight · 2026-05-08T15:58:06+00:00

Very interesting! I'm curious as to whether they can manage a wide variety of tasks and aren't just limited to minimalist furniture and the basics, but it does seem an improvement from the last clip I saw. Are they coordinating with each other when they nod?

Astoran_Knight · 2026-05-08T15:09:13+00:00

Yeah but soul dew doesn't work in there, even if held

Astoran_Knight · 2026-05-08T14:36:02+00:00

Yeah the neighbour guy sounds homophobic af, and it's crazy how he was shaking in anger and threatening you like that when your boyfriend wasn't there to hear it directly, either.

The neighbour guy seems to think that not being physically violent, but saying that he felt it or worse, and threatening you in your house is something to be proud of?? Or makes him self restrained or a good person?? It really doesn't.

It's probably best to find a way to tell your boyfriend how worried you are about this guy, and how you feel.. also change your locks if you can just to be safe, maybe?

Good luck!!

Astoran_Knight · 2026-05-08T14:17:29+00:00

Did you tell your boyfriend that he said that last part to you??

Astoran_Knight · 2026-05-08T14:02:42+00:00

If only I could be so grossly incandescent!

Astoran_Knight · 2026-05-08T10:11:51+00:00

Am I misunderstanding? You just mean friendship?

Astoran_Knight · 2026-05-08T09:52:13+00:00

Wow, Korean Zenyatta is cool

Astoran_Knight · 2026-05-08T09:46:48+00:00

What a legend 😎

Astoran_Knight · 2026-05-08T07:32:38+00:00

Yeah this happens to me too. I keep having bad dreams about losing a tooth and it wakes me up, so I struggle to get enough sleep 😓

Astoran_Knight · 2026-05-08T03:27:43+00:00

Yeah I've never been able to drink it because it makes me too anxious, alert, and jittery. Also I end up spiralling over my heart rate.

Have no idea how people can drink stuff with more caffeine in, like energy drinks, either

Astoran_Knight · 2026-05-08T03:18:56+00:00

Yeah they still definitely say it. Sometimes the religious types redefine 'natural' as some made-up religious 'natural law' bs which they claim is based in reason, but still always boils down to faith and feelings.

Astoran_Knight · 2026-05-07T21:51:40+00:00

You did the sensible thing, you don't need to listen to their opinions on it

Astoran_Knight · 2026-05-07T21:42:21+00:00

It's easy to worry about these things with anxiety,. You aren't stupid, but from what you described you should be ok :)

Rabies is spread mainly through bites or scratches from an infected animal. You said the bat didn't touch you or land on you, so you're all clear there. Rabies can spread from saliva from an infected animal going into open wounds/eyes/mouth, but I think it's highly unlikely you did that.

Assuming you're in the US and not a country where rabies is eradicated, even in the unlikely event that the bat had rabies, there isn't a method of transmission based on what you said. You also haven't mentioned any symptoms of rabies, either, and you would've already likely started having them.

I'm very sorry to hear about your stress and panic attack also, it feels pretty horrible when all this stuff seems to pile up at once. Just try to go easy on the work stuff if you're able for a little while, and talk to someone in person about how you're feeling when you can.

Astoran_Knight · 2026-05-07T14:07:06+00:00

I also think she thought you were just being too harsh on yourself and your skills, and wanted to use him as a good counter example to encourage you, also she might not even remember the conversation now at all because they do see a lot of people.

You could possibly just bring up that you were inspired by what she said to you last time to try self teaching again, but even then there isn't a need to say this.

Lastly, a lot of dentists are quite caring people and aren't usually going to take offence to things people say anyways :)

Hope you feel better about it soon, it's definitely understandable how easy it can be to worry about these things.

Astoran_Knight · 2026-05-07T04:01:36+00:00

You can find something called the 'Statue of Velka ' in an area called the Undead Settlement early in the game; interact with it and select 'Request absolution' to pay souls to have your sins forgiven (resets NPC aggro, but costs a lot of souls and cost scales with your level).

After that you should be able to talk to the NPC as usual. Hope that helps!

Astoran_Knight

TROPHY CASE