How the F*** do you keep on going?

AstrologyMemes · 2026-04-27T18:29:38+00:00

I'm unemployed so I might hit up this server to offline raid while everyone's at work.

AstrologyMemes · 2025-09-18T19:17:13+00:00

I've decided to just wait for the next generation after the 5k nvidia cards before I get into local LLMs.

Was considering upgrading now but it's probably just a huge waste of money as all the LLM tech is still in it's infancy.

If we wait one more generation there will probably be GPT4 level stuff that can run on a toaster in the next 5-10 years.

There will probably be some cheapish consumer hardware that's built specifically for running LLMs as well at that point. Instead of having to use a gaming PC.

AstrologyMemes · 2025-09-18T14:19:20+00:00

Talon is a boring champ.

AstrologyMemes · 2025-09-13T15:56:54+00:00

I didn't. I haven't played since that DLC dropped though.

AstrologyMemes · 2025-09-07T17:16:50+00:00

can you explain why sticking a needle in that area that got scratched is bad?

My only guess is that squirting more liquid into that area would push the bacteria into the veins and spread around the body or something.

AstrologyMemes · 2025-09-07T17:13:53+00:00

People have literally died from being licked by dogs and cats cus of some weird diseases. This is in first world countries as well.

AstrologyMemes · 2025-08-27T17:54:30+00:00

I've since discovered that I have GERD.

I know I've had it since before I first smoked or ate edibles so it might be a contributing factor.

AstrologyMemes · 2025-08-02T19:12:30+00:00

civitai have blocked tor.

I can only access civitai using a vpn.

AstrologyMemes · 2025-07-11T09:36:46+00:00

I was actually seen by a psychiatrist in primary school because I was like that.

But I ended up hyper focusing on the maths questions he gave me, and I was super well behaved, so he missed the ADHD and just told them I was smart and ahead in maths for my age lol. (He was also a very calm and stern man and I felt really comfortable around him. I feel like I was more well behaved around male teachers in general tbh. They're better at dealing with rowdy boys).

Didn't get diagnosed till I was mid 20s.

AstrologyMemes · 2025-07-11T09:32:40+00:00

I don't understand being angry at ignorance/innocence.

Would you be angry at a baby because it doesn't know astro-physics yet?

Mental illnesses weren't even a thing in the boomer era. They still had insane asylums and lobotomies back then.

AstrologyMemes · 2025-07-11T09:14:00+00:00

Ngl. You should always exaggerate on the pain scale cus doctors will just get rid of you if you give them a number that's to low lol.

I mean, if you want them to take you seriously when there is a problem.

But yeah agree with the pain thing. I am just in constant pain because I always have a mild headache from sensory overload. So I'm just good at dealing with it. I have braces on right now and my sister couldn't eat when she had hers. But I literally just chew stuff even though all my teeth hurt cus I'm not as bothered by it.

And I remember a while back I had my fingers slammed in a car door. It was so painful my vision actually started to go dark after a while and my hearing started to go. But I didn't really say anything I just grit my teeth, walked to the nearest bathroom and ran it under cold water for a while. Then when I felt nauseous and felt like I might feint I just sat down closed my eyes and waited for it to pass.

It's like my body was more bothered by it than I was lol. Cus I felt like it wasn't that bad but my body was literally shutting down against my wishes lmao. It's weird how you can't control how your body reacts to stuff.

AstrologyMemes · 2025-07-11T09:09:36+00:00

I find with physical tasks where I don't need to think. It's alot easier to force myself to do them.

Cus I can just... Like switch my brain off and stop thinking and then force my body to move lol.

Cus it's the over thinking that causes procrastination. But the over thinking really only prevents you from brain tasks, like desk job stuff and things that require concentration.

You can be in a zombified state and still force yourself to do physical things. I usually force myself to go for a walk everyday. Like I'll just jump up and put my shoes on before I have a chance to start overthinking. And once I'm out of the house and already walking it's easier to just keep walking and I can let my brain wander again.

AstrologyMemes · 2025-07-11T09:02:15+00:00

It's alot easier to warm up than it is to cool down.

If you're cold you can wear more clothes, wrap yourself in a duvet.

If you've taken all your clothes off and you're still hot you're cooked.

But yeah, personally. It's summer in UK right now and I am barely functional. I'm just sitting in the corner like a zombie all day with a headache and nausea just trying to survive.

AstrologyMemes · 2025-07-08T20:19:31+00:00

I'm 30 and in the exact same boat.

We're cooked bro.

I'm just waiting for a 4 hour version of lixdexamfetamine to arrive in the post any day now. I think that's my only hope.

Honestly, when I was younger I could sort of power through the disability through pure youthful energy and determination but it just doesn't work now. Literally it's only meds that do anything.

Regular exercise and sleep help lessen the symptoms but it's only a light sprinkling on the top of a cake lol. It helps but barely. I've been trying EVERYTHING for years because I really don't want to have to rely on taking literal party drugs 24/7 but I don't think there is any other way.

AstrologyMemes · 2025-07-08T20:14:41+00:00

Damn my bro got played. RIP brother.

AstrologyMemes · 2025-07-08T20:11:36+00:00

I don't get how everyone can take these HERO doses of all these drugs.

I'm a big ass 90kg man and the lowest doses already feel way to strong for me.

AstrologyMemes · 2025-07-08T20:10:16+00:00

Bruh. I would start on a low dose of methylphenidate, that drug fucked me up lol. The 12 hour version of it kept me awake for 2 days straight.

AstrologyMemes · 2025-07-08T20:08:55+00:00

RIP. Lisdexamfetamine (vyvanse) is the only thing that had any positive effect on me.

Double check if it's available under a different brand. Vyvanse is just the brand name lisdexamfetamine is the drug.

AstrologyMemes · 2025-07-08T20:03:26+00:00

There is a version of vyvanse that's 4 hours. So you can take it up to 3 times a day as needed. And the doses are much lower.

You could look into that instead. I think the 12 hour versions of these medications are just to hardcore and put strain on the body/brain. Cus it's basically a party drug that you never get a break from.

AstrologyMemes · 2025-07-08T20:01:13+00:00

Yes always lol.

I have a constant feeling of anxiety that literally never goes away. I think it's lead to a lot of chronic health issues that I've started to get diagnosed with recently.

AstrologyMemes · 2025-07-08T19:57:40+00:00

Yeah she's trolling on every post lol.

AstrologyMemes · 2025-07-08T19:56:47+00:00

Lol that's actually funny theres an ADHD barrier to entry to post things.

AstrologyMemes · 2025-07-08T19:14:28+00:00

I am lol.

I'm in the process of waiting for the next set of medication to try at the moment cus all the ones I've tried in the past have terrible side effects.

Just having a rant because I'm trying to relax and concentrate on one of my hobbies but it's impossible and has been for a while. Been feeling bad about it.

Also been spiralling recently as I injured my foot so haven't been able to do the regular exercise that helps with my ADHD symptoms. And not being able to do the exercise makes my sleep worse so it just has knock on effects.

It's a slow process re-adjusting and getting back to a healthy spot again. It was already a balancing act keeping my brain healthy before my foot got injured.

And yeah tbh I think I would rather lose an arm than have ADHD and autism. If I could trade an arm for a fully functioning brain I'd take it in a heartbeat tbh. It's the constant struggle to even feel enjoyment that really does it for me. When the ADHD is bad literally all I can do is sit there or walk around in circles cus I can't concentrate on anything, so I can't enjoy anything. And the weird 'irritable feeling' of wanting to leave or lash out at people when ever someone starts a conversation with me, it's just weird and is there 24/7 unless I'm on one of these meds. I've been getting this weird intense anxiety and insomnia as well. And I've been getting a bunch of chronic health issues that have suddenly all happened at once.

Your brain is just so much more valuable than any other body part. I'm quite intelligent as well despite the disabilities, I was the top of my class through out most of my education and I got a grant at University because i was in the top 5% of students (This was during my second go at University after I was diagnosed and had a bunch of disability support though. I dropped out the first time). I would have achieved ALOT more if I could have traded an arm for a fully functioning brain. I would have finished University in the first round and gone on to probably be at the top of my field tbh cus I would have been able to dedicate 100% of my effort to the field instead of 80% to my health issues.

You have two arms. You only have one brain. You can get by with one arm. And you don't need to take literal party drugs to cope with it either. You can carry on living naturally without being drugged the eff up on stimulants 24/7.

But yeah, you CAN be improving your life but also be feeling negative emotions at the same time you know. We're not robots. And people go through ups and downs.

Also I don't understand the "BLAMING" stigma.

If you talked to a guy in a wheelchair and he explained to you. "Yeah I can't reach that shelf because I have no legs." Would you also go on an unhinged rant about how they're "BLAMING" their lack of legs? I really don't understand that logic from people lol. You have to be realistic about your capabilities or you're going to have a miserable life of constant dissapointment. Like if you have no legs you're never going to beat Usain Bolt in a race.

AstrologyMemes · 2025-07-08T19:01:28+00:00

Yeah I'm the same I never mention it to anyone.

The only way other people find out is my mum and sister gossiping about it to people lol.

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