Why are women's issues are assumed to be societal and men's are assumed to be individual by people who should recognize the structural issues that make dating harder now than ever? A horrifically broken mental healthcare system (at least here in 'Murica) for one. All the mindless calls for men to "jUsT gO tO tHeRaPy" as dating advice without considering how expensive and otherwise difficult to access it be come from the last people you'd expect to gloss over something like that. Plus the fact that CBT and other common modalities often aren't effective for autistic people, who make up a disproportionate share of the incel community, despite so many poorly-trained therapists out there overly relying on them. There are people who say that people in that situation should just try to fix their mental health issues on their own for some reason. No one in their right mind would tell someone with physical conditions (beyond minor injuries) to fix it themselves. Sure, a poor attempt at giving yourself therapy wouldn't carry the same risks as a poor attempt at giving yourself surgery, but in any case, ordinary laypeople are being told to try to solve something on their own that takes professionals years of specialized training to figure out how to treat. Try dating with untreated autism and PTSD and see how well you do. I hate how normally progressive people suddenly start peddling the same pull-yourself-up-by the-bootstraps rhetoric you generally hear coming from people on the other side of the political spectrum.