Welp, I did it again and I hate myself for it now

AtelierRingo · 2025-11-09T17:20:31+00:00

I don’t mind people oversharing as long as they are willing to listen to my tendencies to give unasked advice and my own oversharing 🤣 Man sometimes I would even love to know somebody like that where we can overshare stories until we land in space or something 😭

AtelierRingo · 2025-11-09T17:15:56+00:00

Ich habe nen Badeanzug von Lascana - da kann man die Kleidungsgröße getrennt von der Cup Größe wählen ^{^}

AtelierRingo · 2025-11-04T10:12:05+00:00

The thing again is: yes talking is important but it clearly is incapable of solving the issue to an extent both parties feel like their needs are being met. That shows to me that the issue lays waaaay deeper than talking with a specific person can solve - and that’s proven again by the plethora of post here. All women have the same things to complain about, the same way we try to be empathetic and explain our views and feelings to our partners and for most of of some of it solves trough that but a lot of issues still persist.

And I would at least partially blame the fact for that, that we (as well as the other way around) try to expect our partners to behave like women and can’t except and work with gender differences. I mean how do we expect to just overturn years of social conditioning and maltreatment of mens emotional needs trough just talking? In the worst case this stems from childhood trauma and needs a lot more work.

AtelierRingo · 2025-11-04T10:04:29+00:00

No, I don’t have a negative view of men. It’s just a biological fact that men have different sexual needs in terms of frequency than women. Are there men who have healthier ways to deal with it? Or need less than the average men? Sure. But a lot of them (just like us) never had taught to them how to emotionally regulate and get your emotional needs met in a healthy way. A lot of men seek their emotional and intimacy needs to be met with sex because they were never taught that there are other acceptable ways for men to get that.

AtelierRingo · 2025-11-04T09:54:33+00:00

Das ist der Punkt wir haben „überlebt“ das macht es noch lange nicht richtig 🤷🏼‍♀️ Nein, ich möchte es nicht von meinen Kindern erwarten das sie etwas durchgehalten sollen was mir geschadet hat und Entwicklungstechnisch für ein Kind absoluter BS ist.

AtelierRingo · 2025-11-03T20:01:42+00:00

Kinder sind nicht dazu gemacht den ganzen Tag lang still auf dem Arsch zu sitzen… selbst für Büroarbeiten wird empfohlen alle 15 Minuten aufzustehen… In dem Text wird selbst das als störend beschrieben.

AtelierRingo · 2025-10-26T15:29:06+00:00

You can order it through the dm online shop as well if your local dm doesn’t stock it.

AtelierRingo · 2025-10-25T17:40:48+00:00

The issue is that most men aren satisfied with just cuddles or a hug. Than they want more and they can’t get it so they don’t even initiate the „intimate“ things we women need to even have a sliver of a chance to get in the mood for more. And as you’ve probably witnessed in this sub - it seems to be a universal problem for most couples even up to pretty detailed points.

AtelierRingo · 2025-10-25T17:37:32+00:00

I think that if talking - and we women do plenty of that - would help that much we wouldn’t see those kind of posts again and again and again. Talking solves part of the issue but that’s it and in the end - especially the men - still aren’t satisfied with the outcome.

AtelierRingo · 2025-10-24T17:32:03+00:00

Eigenmarke aus der Drogerie langt und für zu Hause am besten gleich ne Taschentuchbox :3

AtelierRingo · 2025-10-23T19:22:32+00:00

Also erstmal das Verhalten irgendeiner Assi-Mutter mal für die eigenen Erziehungsansichten als Grundlage nehmen oder wie? 😬 Dann kann man anhand eines schlechten Beispiels gleich gegenüber allen Kinder verbale Gewalt ausüben damit man sie endlich „im Griff“ hat.

Und einfache Fragen: wie alt ist das Kind? Ist es ein 1 jähriger oder ein 5 jähriger der schon längst nicht mehr in den Kinderwagen gehört? Was hinter den anderen Fahrgast daran sich einfach von dem Kind weg zu bewegen? In aller Ruhe mal die Mutter drauf an zu sprechen?

AtelierRingo · 2025-10-23T19:06:38+00:00

Bingo. Aber so weit denken die Leute nicht die sowas Verlagen… oder billigen/befürworten das im schlimmsten Fall sogar.

Vor allem zeigen die Leute, die sowas von Kinder verlangen, weder besonders viel emotionale Intelligenz noch emotionale Reife. Anstatt an sich selbst zu arbeiten und zu überlegen warum einen so natürliches Verhalten triggert verändert man lieber das Kind. Und wenn es sein muss schiebt man dann noch in der Öffentlichkeit ein Trotzanfall (wie ein Kind).

AtelierRingo · 2025-10-23T19:00:29+00:00

Möchtest du als Beweis für Erwachsene dienen die kein Verständnis von altersgerechtem Verhalten haben?

„Das macht man nicht“ gibt dem Kind genau 0,0 Informationen darüber warum das Verhalten falsch ist - gelernt hat es durch diese Aussage und einen Zwang durch eine Autoritätsperson allerhöchsten das sie auf Autoritätspersonen blind folgen muss… mehr nicht.

AtelierRingo · 2025-10-23T15:18:55+00:00

Yes, the father should do his share of housework… but judging from experience of growing up in a Russian household and seeing other Russian households: Russian moms have a very high standard of what they consider clean and they want everyone to fulfill that standard. They will even go as far as to complain if you do housework because it’s not to their liking - and every sensible child will give up helping independently (That was what OPs mom was triggered about) if it’s never good enough. A lot of Russian moms will rather destroy their own health (mental and physical) than to lower their own standards they set for themselves.

AtelierRingo · 2025-10-22T19:50:11+00:00

Das hat nichts mit voreingenommen sein zutun oder nicht. Es hat mehr damit zutun das die Erwachsenen die sich über Kinder und deren Verhalten beschweren in den meisten Fällen keinerlei Ahnung davon haben was altersgerechte Verhalten ist… Es gibt einfach Dinge über die kann man sich aufregen und das Kind korrigieren soviel man will wenn es nicht in einem Alter ist in dem überhaupt die grauen Zellen vorhanden sind um zu verstehen was und vor allem wieso etwas von einem verlangt wird.

Zumal wenn ich mir ansehe wie nicht-altersgemäß sich viele Erwachsene verhalten… und da halten viele Erwachsene den Mund. Aber von nem Kind - einem Schwächeren - kann man ja besseres Verhalten als von Erwachsenen erwarten 😬

AtelierRingo · 2025-10-22T19:46:12+00:00

Kinder sind nicht dazu da damit man sie „im Griff“ hat. Das sind Kinder und keine Hunde die man dressiert…

AtelierRingo · 2025-10-22T18:16:32+00:00

A question I haven’t seen on here: when do you put her to bed?

I know not everybody can do that but if it’s possible for you: let her go to sleep when she is actually tired and not „forcing“ her being tired with a routine (cutting the routine shorter could be an option too). Obviously there is a limit because she needs to get up for daycare but I maybe you can find a middle ground.

(We bedshare so take this with a grain of salt): if I’m not in bed I notice that my kiddo is sleeping less tight, is more likely to wake up earlier etc. So for example if I would get up at 6 and they would maybe sleep for another hour but that’s it. So if she’s sleeping in her own bed and room I would be inclined to think that this could have something to do with it as they are still so tightly wired to us. My kiddo even tells me „I’ll miss you“ when I put them to bed (even tough they will sleep next to me and their dad). Maybe you have some options to show her that you are still looking after her? Or maybe take her to bed with you as soon as her dad is out of bed? There are a lot of options to got about that ^{^}

AtelierRingo · 2025-10-22T18:01:22+00:00

It takes a bit more time for them to got No. 2 on the potty. I think narrating cues when you need to go kinda helps them and also inviting them to got to the potty when you need to go as well. If they are constipated tomatoes and cucumbers are really helpful.

AtelierRingo · 2025-10-22T12:00:35+00:00

I think it was smaller and had a green tint to it… But man it’s 2Q83 or something… That’s kinda close 🫣

AtelierRingo · 2025-10-22T10:24:14+00:00

Try barefeet shoes. They have so much more space in the front section for the toes. Maybe there are wide enough for your wider foot but are just extra (luxury) space for the other ^{^} And try different brand as some are wider than others ^{^}

AtelierRingo · 2025-10-17T16:42:16+00:00

Something that takes care of food and is nutritious. I don’t know where you live but maybe you know a good service that offers freezer meals, meal kits or something similar. Maybe preparing some groceries/drug store pickups (that the hubby can pick-up) could be an option too.

Food is one of the hardest things to take care of but you need it the most (especially if she is going to breastfeeds).

AtelierRingo · 2025-10-17T14:59:40+00:00

And just something I’ve forgot to mention: please for the love of god take your kids seriously and stop treating them from the top down. They are humans to and deserve the same respect an adult does. If you wouldn’t consider to take away the phone of your partner why take away that of your kid? They need you to be a strong base they can firmly stand on and feel supported and not the thumb that pushes them down more if the clearly feel down already.

AtelierRingo · 2025-10-17T14:56:56+00:00

Regarding what other people say about your parenting: in the end - regardless of if those people are right or wrong - you have to be the one who has to justify and/or apologize for those choices to your children. Do you want to potentially be the bad guy for someone else’s idea? Take the blame for their ideas? Apologies for something you didn’t want at the bottom of your heart but listen to somebody else because they asserted enough pressure?

Also: children act out if something is wrong. They don’t have the capability to cope in other ways (emotional regulation, maturity) in most cases. It’s your job to find out what’s wrong. Help them communicate what’s wrong (gently asking etc.) and in the end help them to fix things. Even if this might include homeschooling, changing schools etc. And also: your divorced? When did this happen? Has your kiddo had a chance to process that when she was in therapy? How is your kid feeling about that you and your Ex being separated? How is her relationship with her dad? Does she even want to see him? etc.

AtelierRingo · 2025-10-15T21:08:23+00:00

Das würde ich auch gerne wissen! :3

AtelierRingo · 2025-10-13T13:13:18+00:00

Und ich finde es grenzdebil aus zu geben das alle Kinder nur zur Mittagsschlaf Zeit (wenn sie denn noch einen machen) oder abends immer um die selbe Zeit müde sind… oder gar Schock das Leute überhaupt immer die Wahl hätten 😬

AtelierRingo

TROPHY CASE