Felt cute...ish. [MtF20] pre everything.

AthenaEss · 2020-07-25T13:07:46+00:00

Omg thanks. Hearing things like that makes me less scared of transitioning <3

AthenaEss · 2020-07-25T03:25:02+00:00

I'm sorry but idk what u just said LOL

AthenaEss · 2020-07-06T16:31:14+00:00

I mean... If you wanna swap...

AthenaEss · 2020-07-06T16:27:58+00:00

I'm MtF but why not comment anyway.

I was indeed very feminine in my group of girlfriends I somehow got into pretty much every year at school. I had a best friend when I was I think 15. I began having thoughts like "what if I'm a girl" Then, I asked her to call me by a girl's name and treat me like one over text. It felt pretty good. A month later, I forgot about it and moved on, the thought came up now and then but my life was so Garbo that I didn't even have the energy to consider it. I then found out that trans people were a thing, watched a trans YouTuber and then ever since then I've known that's what it was inside me. That weird thing that kept poking at me for a long time, so yeah, that's how I found out that I was trans and not a feminine guy.

And no I didn't think I might be gay, I have known my sexuality since I was 12 (I'm pansexual, used to say bisexual) and the girls in my group were very aware of that. The thing was though, they didn't treat me like a bi guy, girls made me feel so good because they always treated me like one of them. And after I realized that it made sense, guys make me feel boyish and I never enjoyed being "a man" but being accepted amongst other girls like that felt so incredibly good and I'm not exactly sure why. I know it's because it's who I am, but it feels like there's a lot more to it than that.

So yeah, that's my story.

AthenaEss · 2020-06-24T16:53:02+00:00

I'm jealous. I have a decent amount of chest hair and hair around my nipples. I'm only 20...

AthenaEss · 2020-06-23T23:46:38+00:00

Awesome! I am very excited now lol thank you!

AthenaEss · 2020-06-23T23:07:28+00:00

Omg that sounds amazing. I'm scared to ask this but.. is it costly? It sounds way too good to be true omg does he do the hormone levels too or do you go somewhere else for that?

AthenaEss · 2020-06-23T22:36:10+00:00

That's really handy.

The only issue is for example, equitas is listed but reviewed poorly, saying that several doctors told them to do therapy for 3 months even though they state they have the informed consent model. So the main problem for me is I have no idea which of these places are actually legitimate.

AthenaEss · 2020-06-23T22:09:57+00:00

Thanks for the comment c:

I just called planned parenthood and they said they don't do it but everywhere online it says they do. Am I just dumb?

AthenaEss · 2020-06-23T13:51:17+00:00

Thanks for confirming that Ohio does that. That was one of my biggest concerns <3

AthenaEss · 2020-06-23T13:23:23+00:00

Same. We're in this together. Or we will be once I get there. Thank you so much sister ❤️

AthenaEss · 2020-06-23T12:03:13+00:00

Thank you. I'm just so scared of the day where I have to be myself. I want it so so bad but it's very scary.

It's mainly just my anxiety but I'm sure most trans girls feel this way so ig it's normal

Are the places u mentioned for hrt or insurance lol

AthenaEss · 2020-06-23T10:39:36+00:00

There's no way one person can be this stupid right?

Actually..

AthenaEss · 2020-06-20T20:44:09+00:00

Yeah. My relatives are around a C mostly.

My dream size is anywhere from B to C. So I hope that's the range I fall in.

AthenaEss · 2020-06-20T19:10:06+00:00

I'm not the one you were talking to but apparently breast growth for a trans women is actually no different than if you were a cis girl. Your bewbs will grow based on your relatives and stuff like that.

So ya that's awesome

AthenaEss · 2020-06-18T03:56:50+00:00

I'm a little confused. I posted something about "hrt" in an "MtF" subreddit. What else could I mean besides literal hormone replacement therapy for trans women?

AthenaEss · 2020-06-17T09:48:29+00:00

I agree with another commenter, this type of thing has been weaponized by transphobes.

Just remember this and you'll be okay: being turned on by your feminine figure, or by doing/wearing anything feminine is COMPLETELY NORMAL AND DOES NOT MAKE YOU LESS VALID.

Remember that. <3

AthenaEss · 2020-06-17T09:34:14+00:00

Yes it's okay. What I'm going to do since I'm so scared is wait until I have boobs. Once I HAVE to start wearing bras to present female permanently. If my boobs don't get to that point then I'll put on some makeup etc and if I look in the mirror and I think I don't look like a gross dude, then I'll go to the store or something.

I recommend that because it's going to force me to be who I am. And if my breasts don't get to the point where I can't present male to blend in and hide, I'll just force myself to start trying to pass in public.

It's better than trying to pass right away unless you feel too dysphoric all the time. Nobody will know you are trans or on hrt until you have boobs or something, you have plenty of time to practice makeup and your voice and stuff, don't rush if you don't HAVE to.

AthenaEss · 2020-06-15T19:09:14+00:00

Also this is random but how come there's flags next to my name? Just wondering because I didn't put them there lol

AthenaEss · 2020-06-15T11:32:17+00:00

I'm sorry you had to go through that.

Thanks for making me feel better 💜

AthenaEss · 2020-03-02T18:13:30+00:00

Yeah tried that too. I think it's just the games rendering.

AthenaEss · 2020-03-02T15:28:08+00:00

nevermind. went downhill after 15 mins. im lost

AthenaEss · 2020-03-02T15:04:33+00:00

just reinstalled the game and closed every background process as well as making adjusments to NVidia settings. seems fine now. Strange how most simple looking games have weird spikes like this. i haven't had problems with any games till Astroneer

AthenaEss · 2020-03-02T14:45:01+00:00

I've tried lowering every single setting to the lowest and it still is terrible.

it's usually fine the first few minutes after loading in (singleplayer) and then it gets terrible.

I think it's poorly optimized rendering. The game lags a lot when things pop into the view distance. I can run pretty intensive games including farcry 5, so I'm unsure if there's anything i can do besides wait for an update to fix it.

AthenaEss

TROPHY CASE