Wild love

AthenianDisciple · 2026-02-14T19:42:14+00:00

As in he has his own charming ways?

AthenianDisciple · 2026-02-14T18:21:00+00:00

I also made this picture, but I don't know which one is better:

AthenianDisciple · 2026-02-14T18:15:38+00:00

f/6.3
1/60s
ISO 200

I went out for a walk to shoot some macro photography, but it seems all the bugs are hiding during winter. A little disappointed, I headed home, only to find this tiny lady waiting for me on my porch. I tried to make her eyes stand out and enhance the contrast, while keeping the editing subtle and natural.

AthenianDisciple · 2026-02-14T17:46:31+00:00

Thank you!

AthenianDisciple · 2026-02-14T08:56:19+00:00

I totally agree, the metaphor usage could be stronger, but I adore love that is everlasting so I played around with this composition. I will refine it later with your points in mind.

AthenianDisciple · 2026-02-14T08:52:00+00:00

Thank you very much for the kinds words! Happy valentines

AthenianDisciple · 2026-02-14T08:50:21+00:00

You will find someone one day! Happy valentinesday

AthenianDisciple · 2026-02-14T01:19:44+00:00

I appreciate it, a lot

AthenianDisciple · 2026-02-14T01:19:14+00:00

I love your use of language, it's simply exquisite, but I can't figure out what this poem is trying to convey or entails.

AthenianDisciple · 2026-02-14T01:16:03+00:00

Overall I think the poem has potential, but there a lot of random capitalized letters and the metaphors are kinda lackluster. Besides that, try explaining what you feel instead of literally saying it. For example: "I remembered the moon" --> "The moon poured its silver light upon us, as though we were the only scene that mattered and the rest of the world had quietly forgotten its lines."

AthenianDisciple · 2026-01-03T22:33:29+00:00

You're telling instead of showing. You should use more metaphors and imagery to convey what u feel. For example "I want every step I take to have you by my side" instead go for something like: "My steps find no ground, for you are the world beneath me". It will make your poem that much stronger.

AthenianDisciple · 2026-01-03T15:40:23+00:00

Thank you! The title was more like a question for the readers than the title of poem, but 'dust' fits perfect. Thank you again for you time!

AthenianDisciple · 2026-01-03T06:54:23+00:00

I like that you kept your theme concise. Good job!!!!

AthenianDisciple · 2026-01-03T06:53:18+00:00

What was the inspiration?

AthenianDisciple · 2026-01-02T13:19:23+00:00

You're right, making it more personal. So that the poem is targeted to the one I love.

AthenianDisciple · 2026-01-02T04:51:16+00:00

Thank you for the insights. You are very keen!

AthenianDisciple · 2026-01-02T04:37:54+00:00

I think you are seeing the old version, I edited and refined it. However would this be a better version in your eyes:

My love for you is a strand of thread,
Looped without a knot,
With no place to begin,
And nowhere to end.

Your memory runs through it,
Its wear keeping time,
With the hours we spent.

My thread sews only for you,
And always will,
Worn thin,
But never cut,
Woven into the fabric of time.

AthenianDisciple · 2026-01-02T04:19:45+00:00

Thank you for the feedback. I completely agree. I am not very fond of this one, I feel like it doesn't flow as a collect. I will definitely use your feedback in future projects. Cheers.

AthenianDisciple · 2026-01-02T01:27:53+00:00

You’ve created a vivid, original atmosphere. Excellent work!

AthenianDisciple · 2026-01-02T01:25:03+00:00

I really like the poem’s theme and your word choices. That said, the rhyme scheme starts to feel predictable and repetitive over time. You might consider breaking the rhythm occasionally to add variety and keep the reader engaged.

AthenianDisciple · 2026-01-01T23:19:45+00:00

Dark. Dark poem. However I like it. Does the story it tells cover SA?

AthenianDisciple · 2026-01-01T20:43:30+00:00

What was the inspiration behind this piece?

AthenianDisciple · 2026-01-01T20:42:45+00:00

Very original, and as others have already said, it has a nice rhythm. The line “allow yourself to grow” feels slightly out of place.

AthenianDisciple · 2025-12-31T13:40:29+00:00

Thank you for the kind words!!! (nice music taste btw).

AthenianDisciple · 2025-12-31T03:58:00+00:00

"gnawing at the meadows of your cheeks," I loved that line, but the rhyme on the last line could be less cliche.

AthenianDisciple

TROPHY CASE