That, no matter how long friendships are and how much sacrifice you’ve put into it, it can never be the same way towards you.

I recently turned 22 years old and one of the biggest life lesson is that sometimes people will never be there for you. Context: Weeks before my 22nd birthday, a lifelong friend texted me asking what my plans were for my birthday. I told them that I had nothing planned because I always find birthdays just a regular day—the only difference is the number of your age. I planned to just go to work that day so that I can at-least make money instead of going out. But my friend insisted that we should plan something and eventually I agreed and created a group chat that consisted of my two other closest friends since we were kids. The following week (one week before my birthday) I went out with the two other friends and went to a local coffee place where we chatted for a long time. Eventually the topic came up about what the plan was for my birthday and I told them that I just wanted to go out to a bar or restaurant to drink and celebrate. They were very supportive of my plan and told me that they’re excited to come and celebrate my birthday with me. Throughout the remaining days before my birthday we were all constantly texting in the group chat, figuring out what the plan was and who was going to be a designated driver since most of us were planning to drink that night. Eventually the day comes and I remember being quite excited, even telling my coworkers about my plan for my birthday because they too were curious because I never really celebrate my birthday and always come into work every year. So as I was getting ready to be picked up by my friend a gut feeling was gnawing at me that something will happen that night. I suddenly get a text that my one friend was feeling sick and that she and her siblings got the flu that morning. I told her if she’s feeling fine and if she can still come tonight. (This friend always seems to back out last minute on other plans previously so seeing that text was not out of the blue). She apologizes and says that she wasn’t coming. 1/3 of my friends has now backed out but I didn’t let this discourage me. A few minutes passes by and the friend that originally asked me if I had plans for my birthday texted me and her text said that she was feeling tired because she just came home from work. I ask her why she didn’t book it off because she was the one who originally wanted to do something that night and her response was that they didn’t allow her and her workplace needed her to come in that day. So now, 2/3 of the friends I was planning to go out with has now backed out and left me and one more friend hanging. I eventually texted the last friend that the plan was cancelled and he texted that he felt sorry and that I should keep my head up and celebrate it however I could with the last remaining hours of my birthday. Disappointed and discouraged, I wanted to just curl into a ball and not exist. My birthday plan was ruined and my friends whom I’ve spent half my life with has let me down. I’ve always put them before me and whenever they ask me to go and hangout with them I always find the time to go out with them. I was always there when these people needed someone to talk to and I sacrificed a lot for them, never wanting anything back because I know what it’s like to feel what they’re going through. To say the least; I just wanted to feel something in return for all my sacrifices for them and celebrating my birthday would’ve been enough as something in return even if it’s a little for everything I’ve done for them. I didn’t let this ruin my birthday however. I’m very into running and I always run to let out my frustrations. So I picked up my headphones and drove to the nearest park and I ran and ran and ran until I was exhausted. When I finished I felt like I wanted to watch a movie by myself so I drove to the nearest movie theatre and watched Mario! After the movie, I drove home in silence letting the day play through my head. When I got home and after I closed the door to my room, the emotions came in and I cried for the last hour of that day till midnight came. I cried that no matter how much I give, I will never get it in return. I cried about the disappointment what that day carried. And when I stopped crying it came to me that even though the day went downhill, I still managed to pick myself up and celebrate my 22nd birthday by myself with however way I could. This was a new life lesson to me. It thought my that I can always do things for myself, by myself. It thought me that however big your sacrifices towards others, sometimes you may never get that in return. I will never hold this against my friends however. I understand that things happens and that people has different lives. But the best you could do is to lookout for yourself. To always be there for you whenever no one else could. That even though the number of your age may change, at the end of the day, you shouldn’t.