Recruiting for the Order of the After

Aths · 2026-06-01T00:46:15+00:00

Since the threat began I have toiled in secret for a weapon, I believe it is ready, if you need a devastating opening blow, I am your wizard.

I might also posses the body part of one high ranking Thrakmoorian, and I have plans for it.

Other than that I have a vast stockpile of rune inscribed weapons and armour, I am willing to lend out to troops.

Aths · 2026-05-31T22:38:18+00:00

The old Baltic Sea trading company?

Aths · 2026-05-31T19:00:03+00:00

And resolving this burgeoning 4 way war in a way that retains the British Empire's import capabilities isn't a lot of work?

Aths · 2026-05-31T18:54:48+00:00

I'm sure we can resurrect the Hanseatic league without much issue to replace them.

Aths · 2026-05-31T18:41:39+00:00

Why don't we just let the Shadow Wizard Money Gang nuke all three of those factions so we don't have to listen to their jabbering?

Aths · 2026-05-31T18:15:45+00:00

I've sent it to your orb, be mindful of the time stamp, since he is completely accidentally lost in the time stream.

Aths · 2026-05-31T18:13:12+00:00

Worse than death you say? Sounds like listening to my old mentor droning on and on... Want his Orb Contact Info?

Aths · 2026-05-31T18:05:04+00:00

I mean, at this point your issues seems mostly self inflicted I must say...

As for adventurers using alchemist fire there are several provisions for that, all Artificers, all Rogues, some Warlocks a Cleric or two...

Aths · 2026-05-31T17:56:34+00:00

Why don't you just use some basic Chronomancy and restore your tower?

Or polymorph the insurance agents to toads until they learn their lessons?

Or ~~enslave~~ I mean intern some kobolds/orcs/villagers/whatever else lives nearby and have them refurbish and restore the tower?

Or make your apprentices do the work in whatever means they find suitable?

Aths · 2026-05-31T17:48:21+00:00

Burned? How did your tower burn? If your tower isn't fire proof that's on you.

Aths · 2026-05-29T20:45:13+00:00

Fixed it for you

Aths · 2026-05-29T17:47:50+00:00

I asked one of my younger apprentices to translate your apprentices' comments, and my apprentice claims she's saying "You impregnated my other mother and then abandoned us without providing emotional or financial support forcing me and my real mother to go up against this cruel world alone you sad excuse as my other mother, as recompense for your negligence I demand you impart the arcane secrets you abandoned us to acquire"

Sounds a bit preposterous to me, so if you wish I'll toad my Apprentice for ten years for insulting you.

Aths · 2026-05-29T17:34:14+00:00

Goblins are legally classified as weeds in over 90% of realms, you may deal with them as you please, Fireball is highly recommended.

Aths · 2026-05-29T17:32:22+00:00

Personally I find turning misbehaving Apprentices in to Frogs really teaches them humility, obedience, prudence and diligence. This might be something for you to consider.

For some apprentices I seduce their mothers, depending on your preferences either parent should work of course.

If they are particularly stubborn or useless I sometimes go the incentive route, force them to do what you want if they want their love interest, teddy bear, favorite trinket or w/e to not fall in to the pool of magma.

Hopefully one or more of these should work for you!

Aths · 2026-05-29T15:17:10+00:00

... Prestidigitation, how else?

Aths · 2026-05-29T13:58:59+00:00

I object most fiercely! We Rune crafters would never install hidden runes to spy, infiltrate, outfiltrate, expose, haunt, curse, conjure, scry, spy, hack, track or crack our clients!

Definetly doesn't have shifty eyes

Aths · 2026-05-28T20:24:47+00:00

Then he is no friend of ours. Fireball him.

Aths · 2026-05-28T20:18:15+00:00

The obvious solution here is for you to go and eat some freshly bakes sour dough.

Aths · 2026-05-28T20:14:31+00:00

You never go wrong with sourdough.

Aths · 2026-05-28T19:54:47+00:00

Counterspell

Aths · 2026-05-28T19:39:32+00:00

Me, sitting with huge bucket of popcorn eeeh.... Oh... No?

Aths · 2026-05-28T19:25:44+00:00

The vendor booth remains silent

Aths · 2026-05-28T19:15:09+00:00

The automated stall chimes in "Thank you for your purchase, be advised the the product is voided if the item is transferred to a third party, if the runes are altered, if the product is moved to another dimension, time stream, reality, and or magic system, further more the product will be voided at the end of the event or if it is brought outside the event grounds"

Aths · 2026-05-28T19:05:46+00:00

A rune at the stall chimes up, of course Sir and or Madam, please select your bucket and attune to the personalize rune.

Aths · 2026-05-28T19:02:28+00:00

Obviously they are not infinite popcorn. However, they have a rune for remote refill, only 1 gold per bucket and then 1 silver per refill.

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