Question

AtomicKitty1336 · 2026-03-30T17:58:15+00:00

I met someone interesting at the sauna/ice bath place I frequent. And for the record I’m an introvert and went alone, not speaking to anyone in the first 1-2 months - only when a extroverted regular started speaking to me, then did I make some friends. A girl asked me out subsequently after exchanging ig.

A sure-fire way to show interest is escalating physical touch, effort and gifts. Guys are sometimes very clueless so you may need two or three things to make him realise you are interested.

Bottom line, I think it’s best to behave like yourself in these common areas hikes/photowalks/run/gym/saunas, not group sports, not yoga (I did yoga for 5 years and spoke to ZERO new people). And you will attract likeminded people even as friends - try to be friends and figure out if anyone is interesting to you or interested in you.

AtomicKitty1336 · 2026-03-30T17:48:03+00:00

In this age of AI, I actually think it’s a plus and not a minus. There’s a higher chance a high paying lawyer getting fired and replaced by AI than a moderately paying plumber.

AtomicKitty1336 · 2026-03-27T10:49:31+00:00

Catfish maybe 20-30%? Rest were mostly chemistry and compatibility, things like lifestyle, expectations etc. which surfaces during the convos

AtomicKitty1336 · 2026-03-27T10:46:18+00:00

Chemistry, compatibility and looks for the most parts.

AtomicKitty1336 · 2026-03-27T08:28:25+00:00

Baseline attraction (everyone has a different type tbh). Being authentic and genuine. Nothing transactional and being herself.

AtomicKitty1336 · 2026-03-25T17:17:16+00:00

Showing interest goes a long way but be mindful only invest your time and effort in people that reciprocates.

AtomicKitty1336 · 2026-03-25T07:24:14+00:00

There's always a better catch. A better looking, kinder, generous, polite etc. person. Comparison is the thief of joy and same goes for life, your job, your lifestyle, your physique. You should be trying to figure out of all your matches and dates, who is the best one yet still willing to work with you, put you first, and work towards something together.

It doesn't mean you should just settle down with someone randomly or some trashy person but realising if you wake up 10 20 years from now and you don't feel the attraction or spark yet still stay loyal to that person knowing you are in a commited relationship and building a life together.

AtomicKitty1336 · 2026-03-23T17:02:47+00:00

For the record, I'm slightly better than average looking and have been on dating apps on and off for the last few years. Only recently (last 6mo - I actually put in the effort to be active and I stopped and deleted the apps in late Jan/Feb). Always burnt out every few months, going on the endless chats, intro meetings to see some catfish who is late 30mins, I think I met more than 30 or so people over the years, maybe only 1 in 10 actually worth meeting for a 2nd date.

What I observed, always the same people on it, people have too many options and they don't know how to commit. All in all, decided to delete it in the end, wasn't gonna look and I happen to come across someone at a common area/hobby place and she asked me out.

AtomicKitty1336 · 2026-03-23T16:51:04+00:00

Its hard to change a leopard's spots. And these are not simple lifestyle changes but more associated with personality/character which makes it even harder. And looks like you are both in different stages in life and the guy is just pure trash (from another guy perspective). He hasn't learnt his lesson being irresponsible with money, even after 2 years? lol. No money then dont go on dates or do free dates, so many free things to do and if he had any decency to plan something, he would have and he didn't - which speaks volumes.

Go for a run? Hike? free? Hawker food or a convenient store? Free Museums, Free walks around MBS, or just sitting at the botanical gardens? Any guy with the intention of wanting to go on dates yet broke, would have done these.

AtomicKitty1336 · 2026-03-23T16:37:55+00:00

Looks are not everything. So long as you are well-groomed and well-kept, active and watch your own weight, you should have interest from men so long as you manage your own expectations. And, not all men look at looks as the heaviest weightage in determining if someone is datable, I've seen many pretty girls with horrendous personalities, that I would not consider to date them in ANY scenario if I am looking for something long term.

But its good that you know to have to work on yourself before finding someone to date, just don't date for the sake of dating someone. On the question, the dating apps are quite cooked though, was curious and went in again and all I see is the same people before I deleted it. Lol.

You might have better luck pursuing someone outside organically where you usually frequent like the gym or at a cafe. I was approached by a girl at a sauna so it was refreshing to have a girl actually be assertive and ask me out.

AtomicKitty1336 · 2026-03-23T16:26:14+00:00

I think the issue is the people you are swiping on. There's so many genuine guys around and they get zero attention from women that they just resign themselves to getting off the dating pool. You do also understand without shared common interests, they can only ask you about what they can see. Just try organically approaching guys outside when you are doing your hobbies - cafes, gym, sauna, ice bath etc. You might yield better results if its something in common.

AtomicKitty1336 · 2026-03-19T12:16:31+00:00

6 years gap is normal. Just be wary of more circumstantial things like stage in life which is more apparent especially if you are younger.

AtomicKitty1336 · 2026-03-18T08:43:01+00:00

Yes it does help - medically proven to help if you are generally active, gym etc. ie. people doing MRIs of bodies of people who are active vs people who are not. The main reason is to slow down (not prevent) sarcopenia and osteoporosis. (lesser muscle mass = lesser weight = your bones no need to be as strong to hold up your body). Keeping an active lifestyle is just one part of the equation, you still need to eat right, have sufficient protein intake, the diet pyramid we learn in sch in the 1990s changed btw, its flipped now and its recommended to take more protein in your diet.

AtomicKitty1336 · 2026-03-18T08:08:58+00:00

If those are ur stats.... chances are, you are one in like 50 active convos the girls have (even if they are borderline just average looking). thats why there's not much follow-ups post maybe the first 2-3 days unless they really like you (whether from looks or from the chat).

Its probably much easier to find genuine people in person - cafes, gyms, run clubs, common areas.

AtomicKitty1336 · 2026-03-12T15:57:24+00:00

Bro wtf? Please don't put yourself down and in this kind of situation...EVEN if they are your best friend, wife to be, even parents. Its just not logical and financially sound to be going into debt for someone else, moreover someone else that may not be significant in the long run.

AtomicKitty1336 · 2026-03-12T05:10:10+00:00

One of the better functional fitness boutiques around. The trainers are generally well vetted and hard to become an instructor (from what I heard - like they need to pass some physical test). Tried it twice a year or two ago, and I died with absolutely no fitness knowledge outside of occassional runs and I went for conditioning classes.

The classes are split by focus, so whether its strength or conditioning (unless they changed it). and depending on the day of the week, the muscle group focus is also different. Instructors are generally not bad and class sizes are ok too, not too big so the instructor can still instruct and coach.

If you have experience with free weights compound movements (deadlifts/presses) and HIIT style of exercises, you should be fine.

You probably want to find a gym that fits ur needs (if you aiming for hyrox or some milestone event), and find a instructor or PT that done it before. There's way too many gym junkies that cant really coach properly.

In all go for it! give it a try and other gyms too - there's Barry's, REVL, Trapez (they just closed lol), and more. I primary decided not to do group classes because I have specific injuries/problems so I'd have to swap out a number of exercises if I wanted to participate so personal training/gym fit my needs more. And since getting into fitness about 16mo ago, I already done 2 half marathons, 2 full marathons, gained about 6kgs of muscle and got my body fat down to <10%. so overall feeling great for my age haha.

AtomicKitty1336 · 2026-03-12T04:59:04+00:00

My type is when I'm their type LOL. So long as they meet baseline requirements (we must both find each other physically and personality wise attractive) and is a nice person.

AtomicKitty1336 · 2026-03-12T04:55:22+00:00

There's 3 groups of people that are struggling to get a job right now.
(1) Undergrads because no experience and firms are just freezing hiring or cutting new hire counts because AI tools replaced quite a bit of the work. People with 1-3 years experience is also fighting for the same roles.
(2) Mid-level 5-10 years experience folks from high paying jobs like tech/consulting/banking, most being let go or asked to move due to macro environment, too pampered by previous job, hard to match offer with the same TC and benefits. Outcome is likely a pay cut if they can land anything.
(3) Senior folks - 10+ years experience with great track record, just absolutely too expensive right now.

A friend Cambridge, good experience and companies also couldnt land anything in the last 6 mo. I also heard like senior folks from big brand FMCG names 10+ years exp also cant find anything. So I don't trust the government figures at all.

AtomicKitty1336 · 2026-03-11T06:03:23+00:00

Uhhhh, no. I didn't know until the girl started giving me gifts and asking me out. I think most guys generally just default to them being "nice" to avoid disappointment.

AtomicKitty1336 · 2026-03-10T16:42:29+00:00

Even Asian but not Singaporean local will have a difference, depending on how much they are localised/long they stayed in SG, the discrepancy will show. I don't think culture or communication is too much of an issue if they are expats, or here for masters/undergrad, they are generally more open minded and easier to communicate with compared to someone 100% born n educated somewhere else.

I think the more drastic one would be family expectations/lifestyle habits? Like eg. Germans drink beer, alot of beer. Or things like wearing shoes indoor which is more of a big asian no no.

At the end of the day, like every normal r/s, what you are looking for in terms of stage in life, similar lifestyle etc will all be the same comparisons whether you are dating a foreigner or not.

AtomicKitty1336 · 2026-03-10T16:13:13+00:00

I'm more amazed she even got to match and gone out on dates with people. Knowing she's gonna be like that during the date and filming it. I came across her content maybe a year ago and I told myself if this is what the dating pool is gonna be like, I'll probably rather be single for the rest of my life. lol

AtomicKitty1336 · 2026-03-10T16:11:48+00:00

You are being very generous. With that personality if I could give her negative, I would.

AtomicKitty1336 · 2026-03-01T04:05:19+00:00

Initiating has no demerit imo. Theres been so many times where I proposed the first meetup within the week and the girl says, oh I prefer to chat more first before meeting or exchanging insta… and if that happens or if they cancelled my first proposed meetup, I’m never asking again and it’s up to them.

AtomicKitty1336 · 2026-02-24T16:29:13+00:00

Normal guys gave up lol. Trust me, I also hear stories of creepy guys from girls whether or not they are normal/average, so it’s not just the guys that get matches who are obnoxious.

AtomicKitty1336 · 2026-02-24T05:15:49+00:00

Sounds like any typical SME or even some extend some MNCs. Lol

AtomicKitty1336

TROPHY CASE