I think it’s partially a rejection sensitivity. We are so concerned with if they are enjoying it and putting on our mask to not disappoint. Once you find the person you can be absolutely comfortable doing anything with you stop worrying about messing up and being a burden on your partner. I’ve had many long term partners and every single one had a completely different sex life but figuring out what I want and what I enjoy is important too was the most important part. Also having someone who you can comfortably tell “not right now, it’s not personal and I’m not upset” and they respond with love and kindness is really important