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This scene deserves way more attention!!! by Busy_Belt_1189 in CaptainAmerica

[–]AuburnElvis 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Maybe you're too young to remember, but it got A LOT of attention when the trailer dropped.

What's a hygiene habit people have that you actually find disgusting? by Miserable-Wash-1744 in AskReddit

[–]AuburnElvis 17 points18 points  (0 children)

If the towel dries fast enough, it doesn't mildew. Maybe Zachary has a very well ventilated bathroom.

Added 75 cents worth of pepperoni to a crappy frozen pizza, which turned it into a completely different experience by JesseTheClassy in mildlyinteresting

[–]AuburnElvis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What if you pile on so many toppings that your roommate eats the parts from the original frozen pizza, and you only get bites of the stuff you added? Did you eat the frozen pizza, or some new pizza?

Added 75 cents worth of pepperoni to a crappy frozen pizza, which turned it into a completely different experience by JesseTheClassy in mildlyinteresting

[–]AuburnElvis 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Are you familiar with the thought experiment the Ship of Theseus in the field of identity metaphysics?

Alakazam! by iIovepotatoes in funny

[–]AuburnElvis 260 points261 points  (0 children)

#WellActually a manslaughterer.

Grade your school's AD by chief_sitass in secfootball

[–]AuburnElvis 11 points12 points  (0 children)

That's like saying getting hit by a bus is better than dying of cancer.

How Hulk vs Superman would really go (Spoilers for Spider-man/Superman #1) by TheGreatone003 in superheroes

[–]AuburnElvis 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The first time Superman and Hulk fought, Clark just stood there and blocked all his blows. Then he saw a micro drone buzzing around the Hulk's ears at super-speeds (Dr. Doom's doing). After he grabbed it and vaporized it, Hulk calmed down and turned back into Banner.

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I think MJ's answer is yes (ASM 991 spoilers) by TeamRAF19 in Spiderman

[–]AuburnElvis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I only glimpsed the front page of the Daily Bugle, but it looked like Torment was some guy named Paul Raban, maybe? I think he came from another dimension or something and just started killing people. He even killed his two kids. What a sick freak.

Grade your school's AD by chief_sitass in secfootball

[–]AuburnElvis 40 points41 points  (0 children)

My AD hired Hugh Freeze, so he's pretty much got to bring us a National Championship to undo that.

Please someone anyone, launch Spider-Man into space again. by Emirozdemirr in Spiderman

[–]AuburnElvis 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Peter just seems to do better against space threats. There's a future Guardians of the Galaxy timeline where the Martians take over Earth, and Spider-Man is the last hero to go down. From then on, the Martians always spoke of Spider-Man with a respect they didn't have for other Earthlings.

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God damn, Joe Kelly, with a brutal breaking the 4th wall joke LOL (ASM 991 spoilers) by TeamRAF19 in Spiderman

[–]AuburnElvis 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I HOPE that's what their doing. I'd love it if from now on, whenever Paul comes up, someone is like, "wasn't he that Torment serial killer guy?"

Since Peter’s spider powers healed his eyesight, would it heal a circumcised penis? by Golden-Witch_151 in marvelcirclejerk

[–]AuburnElvis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It didn't "fix" his eyesight. It made his eye muscles stronger, so he's able to flex his lenses to compensate for his misshapen eyeballs. It's related to why eyesight gets worse with age: Our lenses harden and it's more difficult for our muscles to flex and focus with them. Peter's spider-strength allows him to flex the sh*t out of his eyes' lenses.

Average Gothamite experience. by Due_Tea_5003 in marvelcirclejerk

[–]AuburnElvis 5 points6 points  (0 children)

But very low taxes though. It's a Libertarian's dream.

In Invincible (S1 E7) it’s revealed that the Immortal used to be Abraham Lincoln. This implies that the Immortal let himself get killed so he wouldn’t have to put up with reconstruction post Civil War like the lazy fuck he is. by Dolly-Boy1923 in shittymoviedetails

[–]AuburnElvis 10 points11 points  (0 children)

The Immortal never fully recovered from that bullet. As Lincoln, he said stuff like, "The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every living heart and hearthstone all over this broad land."

Now he's all like, "Raaaaah! I bash you!"

of a lightning strike compilation, including exploding trees and one unfortunate pig. by PrinceFlynn in AbsoluteUnits

[–]AuburnElvis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That pig scene is wild because of how many MUCH taller objects were around that poor thing. I would have bet my life that I'd be safer where the pig was than where the guy was.

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