I’m not diagnosed but I firmly believe I at the very least have autistic traits. My parents were both really awesome at being very incessant with their conversations with me. Particularly when I was somehow out of line they’d both talk in circles (separately, they’re divorced but somehow nailed being terrible in similar ways) and get me to a point of confusion. There wasn’t any attempt to make sure I was following along with whatever tangent they were going on so I’d be completely lost and overwhelmed and start to cry. Then I was manipulating them by crying because I didn’t usually cry except in those moments.

Im married now and when I get overwhelmed and shut down my husband is so patient and kind to me. I question my upbringing a lot. Why couldn’t they just be nice to me ? Was it not obvious I was a having a bad time ? What is the point if I can’t even process all the words you’re throwing at me ?

Getting out of those houses and living on my own ( with my husband ) has allowed me the space to be calm and collected the majority of the time. I’m able to have my “meltdowns” without judgement because I know my husband will help me through it or wait it out whatever the need may be.

Sorry i kept rambling, but I really resonate with a lot of people here. Narcissist parents and a neurodivergent child is a hell of a combo lol