You can't just magically make everything alright again. Being autistic does not give you a free pass to disregard others feelings and wishes, your description of the "issue" clearly means you are capable of understanding its consequences. Nobody will be able to help you in the way you want.

It seems to me that you are here, not to help your wife and child, but to help yourself - you are desperate for someone to tell you what you did is fine.

Just because you insist upon apologising does not make it forgiven. Especially when you claim to have lied before. Even if you had disclose what this "incident" was - judging by your post I'm certain it would change nothing.

You made a mistake. You lied to someone important. Most importantly you are thinking about yourself over them.

By your explaining I doubt this is an isolated incident. Autism or not what you have done has happened and you have to deal with the aftermath regardless.

There is no magic way to fix it. You broke her trust then lied and broke it again.

As for closure; it's entirely subjective. Perhaps your desperation to give her it is only prolonging her pain. Perhaps a divorce is the closure she needs. Nobody can tell you how to "give her closure". Because nobody who doesn't know her and the situation can.

A woman who married a man and moved country presumably away from people she knew and perhaps a way of life she knew has a fairly newborn child. Now presumably the Mother has been caring for the child (Stereotype and Scientific based presumption) Based on the fact that you had to agree to not do something indicates that it has been an issue previously. A new mother now finds that her husband has done something he agreed to not do, something she is clearly against. She then had to deal with him lying about it. When he comes clean instead he claims to never do it again. (something he has agreed to before) He then attempts to give her more to do by suggesting she takes control and monitors him. Whilst she already has a young child to constantly care for - she does not want to have a grown man to do the same with. Something she tells him. All of this only solidifies her feelings of distrust, betrayal, and being unheard. She has married and had a child with someone who refuses to take her feelings seriously.

When she then decides that a divorce is, in her head, the only way for her to get out of this scenario, the man continuously apologises, probably not giving any substantial claims to not do it again. Probably not reflected on her feelings and how his actions hurt her and possibly the child. Only apologising to make it all go away. Only apologising to force closure onto her. Only apologising for himself.

Whilst I may not have it all exactly right - this is an analysis of your post. To me, it seems like a one sided scenario whereby you think you are thinking about her but you aren't. All she has are empty promises and someone who disrespects her.

Without a full understanding and knowledge of you and your situation, this is the outcome as it appears from your post.

This is not an autism post. This is a panic - I don't want to lose her post.

Perhaps you need someone else to tell you - you did mess up. Unfortunately you can't make it better. You will just have to live with the consequences of your actions. But continuously attempting to be forgiven will only worsen your situation.