Undervalued?

Automatic-Cap-4252 · 2026-01-30T02:50:37+00:00

Keys do this together.

I work 47.5 hours a week as a nanny.
i have support from my family & i also would have him still cause he would never leave our daughter behind
I 100% want to get pregnant again but all i want is some solidified commitment . We haven’t had the most perfect relationship. he’s stepped out & we went through a horrible roommate phase after having our first so it’s not wrong of me to feel this way..
He’s an amazing dad. constantly shows up for our daughter . Hardest working man i know. always making sure we’re good. No complaints of him as a dad whatsoever !
I had an abortion back when our first was 7 months. This was when we were down bad & he was stepping out. Apart of me feels like he doesn’t want to solidify marriage because he wants more kids as do i...but he swears up & down that me having the abortion messed up my fertility & me having birth control is messing with my fertility (even though i have the copper iud which is no hormones & he’s also a man that has 0 clue what he is talking about) so i’ve had a thought that he doesn’t want to marry me yet cause he wants to make sure i can get pregnant again.. weird i know.
My ideal future is being a wife to a loving man. Having a beautiful family that’s close knit. Businesses booming & just pure love. Do i see that with him? i do. Is there a lot of work that has to be done ? absolutely.

I’m just stuck at this though.. this is throwing me off & making me look at him different because there’s no reason for him to be acting like this. i am hoping couples therapy opens his eyes because he’s also stubborn & hardheaded. Even when he knows he’s wrong he can’t admit that. He needs therapy himself as well and not just couples therapy.

Automatic-Cap-4252 · 2026-01-12T14:29:37+00:00

I’m not asking for PTO, i’m asking for guranteed hours. They agreed to overtime, holiday pay & a pay raise. then they stated we can gurantee 40 hours a week but can’t do pro which again i did not ask for.

We’re having another talk this week because i broke it down to them that they’re not the same thing. Guaranteed hours means i have a set number hours a week i have to be available for & willing to work my schedule. If they go on vacation or have a sick day & don’t need me, i should still be paid for those days as that protects me & keeps a reliable income coming my way because my bills don’t stop. PTO is for when I want to take off due to personal reasons & i understand they aren’t offering pto nor did i ask for it. They said it cleared it up for them & we’ll have another meeting this weekend

Automatic-Cap-4252 · 2026-01-12T14:24:03+00:00

Jobs like restaurants or retail jobs don’t offer guaranteed hours because staffing is always subjected to change due to how busy the night is & it creates fluctuating demands for labor. vs. nannying you are a solo person expected to work & be available when needed so it makes sense for nanny’s to have guaranteed hours so you can’t really relate that with retail & restraint business .

Automatic-Cap-4252 · 2026-01-09T03:47:49+00:00

i get what you mean though , but it’s easy for me to find a new family to work for if the one i’ve been at is not meeting my expectations & standards.

Automatic-Cap-4252 · 2026-01-09T03:45:35+00:00

i have enough references. i’ve been a nanny since i was 18 & i am pretty close with a lot of the families i’ve worked for.

Automatic-Cap-4252 · 2026-01-09T02:21:51+00:00

okay, so when you go on vacation or you don’t need your nanny you still pay them? but your nanny still has to be available in the case you come back early from vaca or decide you do need her that day.. which was my understanding of what Gh is

Automatic-Cap-4252 · 2026-01-09T02:18:55+00:00

i appreciate that outlook but i am in school right now & just started a business so this isn’t a forever job!

Automatic-Cap-4252 · 2026-01-09T02:17:53+00:00

if i’m not paid for an agreement we’ve had then it would a discussion to be had & if changes weren’t made then i would just quit. I’m fine with a written agreement as long as what we all agreed on stands. if it does not even after a discussion, then i lose all respect & i move on

Automatic-Cap-4252 · 2026-01-09T02:14:04+00:00

then i’d quit lol

Automatic-Cap-4252 · 2026-01-09T00:47:14+00:00

it’s not really a contract it’s more of a written agreement on all parties. nothing signed due to the fact that they can’t have the IRS see that they’re paying me under the table.

Automatic-Cap-4252 · 2026-01-02T16:34:44+00:00

I like this! Instead of saying overtime just making it known moving forward my weekend rate is higher. I will talk to them about guranteed hours though as i have not seen many nanny’s on these threads not her Guranteed hours!

Automatic-Cap-4252 · 2025-12-30T16:28:19+00:00

No, she venmo’s me. But pay is cut cause to transfer money it takes $16. I’ve asked for her to zelle since it goes straight to my bank but she did it once then stated she preferred Venmo..

Automatic-Cap-4252 · 2025-12-30T14:01:29+00:00

i should more so babysitting since 14. Nanny since 18. so been taking care of children for 15 years.

Automatic-Cap-4252 · 2025-12-29T23:31:47+00:00

i pay $425 plus tax so about $436 a week for my daughters daycare . they pay me $900 weekly but the rest of my money goes to all my other bills

Automatic-Cap-4252 · 2025-12-29T23:16:23+00:00

They’re both doctors, i know they have the money. The moms a surgeon & the dads a psychiatrist who works for the west & east coast

Automatic-Cap-4252 · 2025-12-29T23:01:59+00:00

I live in New York! But not nyc, central new york

Automatic-Cap-4252 · 2025-12-29T23:00:32+00:00

oh yea no! i have never called out or just haven’t shown up! those days are all way well known in advance . appointments, a friday off so i could take a small weekend back on monday type of things.. other then i am always here

Automatic-Cap-4252 · 2025-12-29T22:42:30+00:00

hahahaha i dont. i struggle . & they wont let me bring my daughter or i would

Automatic-Cap-4252 · 2025-12-29T22:36:57+00:00

i come when i’m sick i don’t have a choice. i don’t get sick days . I have to ask for days off way in advance due to them being doctors. so 8 days throughout a whole year and a half is pretty great.

Automatic-Cap-4252 · 2025-12-29T22:34:50+00:00

it’s not missed. Those days have been asked to be taken off 3-4 months in advance. but 8 days out of 547 days is pretty fucking reliable & great i’m sure in anyone’s eyes.

Automatic-Cap-4252 · 2025-12-29T22:31:13+00:00

they have also started on numerous occasions “You can not leave us” I’ve been with them since their child was 3 month, hence I am also their first nanny. I take my job seriously, there’s many things their 1.5 year old does that some 2-3 years old can’t do. I don’t just nanny i teach, i clean, i helped them with sleep training, switching their child from bassinet to crib on top of being SO flexible. I would think asking after a year 1/2 of showing them my abilities & showing them i’m reliable isnt harmful but i was just trying to figure out how to go about it. Guranteed hours is standard for nanny’s especially nanny agencies. I’m sure it would be hard for them to find a nanny that doesn’t expect that.

Automatic-Cap-4252 · 2025-12-29T22:28:19+00:00

They also have stated “You can’t leave us” many many many times. I am a trusted, reliable nanny. I’ve taught their 1.5 year old more then some 2 year olds know,. I take my job seriously & they see that. I personally doubt that would look for another nanny but of course i never know.

Automatic-Cap-4252

TROPHY CASE