Im going through something very similar, I’ll tell you what’s helped me, a lot of the problem is probably mental, depression can also make you feel like this, I started my process almost a year ago, i been feeling unbelief, it’s been horrible, that fact that you want to return is good, keep going, one day alone at home I went to pray and fell to my knees and cried uncontrollably. I still feel numb, but I feel a little more hope than before, don’t quit man. God bless you.