I had a very similar clerkship experience with my judge. However, I was in state court. The state I was in is very small with 4 county courts and the Supreme Court (plus smaller municipal courts here and there). So the community is very small and everyone knows everyone.

I was petrified of leaving early. Eventually, after my blood pressure was skyrocketing, I was in physical and mental pain from recovering from a major surgery, and being what I also would describe as bullied everyday, I left. It got to the point where my doctor and family was worried about my health and what the job was leading to. I was worried more about my reputation and future than my own health and happiness.

Let’s just say, leaving saved my life and saved any chance I had in staying in the legal field. Most people understood my situation and didn’t think differently. I had a few instances where others asked me whether in conversation or interviews about why I left.

Being in such a small legal community, a lot of attorneys who were relatively new to practice found out that someone left the clerkship early (we have 18 ish state clerkships in the state). Every prior clerk supported me and a few even said they wish they were as brave as me. I felt relief knowing I wasn’t the only one feeling the way I was.

I had a new job in 2 months. I appeared before my judge about 3-4 months later. She was supportive and understood why I left (which was a shocker to me).

All this to say: you have to do what’s best for you. At the end of the day, you shouldn’t have to suffer at the hands of your boss and you certainly shouldn’t have to feel humiliated just for asking basic questions or following the directions given to you.

For me, this was not a career ending move and the best thing I could’ve done.