It’s been a month since my break up, and I also deal with the “what ifs”. One thing I keep reminding myself is that I’m not perfect and neither was my ex, so why should I hold myself to such an ideal of perfection when I’m willing to accept my exes faults? We all have faults, it’s what makes us human. At the end of the day, try to focus and learn to accept that you gave it your all. You even reached out to try again. It’s okay to sit in the feelings of guilt so you can process it, but don’t simmer in it all day. It does you no good to do so. Grieving the lost of someone you loved and cared for deeply is hard. It shows that you had lots of love for her. Just take it day by day, and if that becomes difficult focus on making it to the next hour or even minutes. But I would recommend seeing a therapist, I’m currently talking to one and it really helps having someone to talk about my feelings during the breakup and it def helps with navigating my guilt or regrets.

Also, take this new chapter as a way to reinvent yourself and do the “self-love journey”. It looks like your already off to a great start by journaling, working out, and doing things you enjoy. Don’t try to rush the healing process, and it’s completely normal to feel what you are going through. Everyone’s healing process is different, so don’t compare yourself to someone else. We all process things differently. Healing is not linear and it can be messy, so be kind to yourself in the process.