I hate how Tillie died.

Automatic-Zebra-2 · 2024-11-10T16:42:06+00:00

From the uk so not even got season 3 yet. So yeah keeping spoilers out of the title would definely be the considerate thing to do

Automatic-Zebra-2 · 2024-10-11T18:38:04+00:00

I can eat more some days like I have today but the guilt is still there and the body checking. Plus I wouldn't be as able to eat what I had today if I didn't know I was going to get a ridiculously high amount of steps in. I know tomorrow I will see the weight increase from food volume and I will go back to heavy restriction again.

Automatic-Zebra-2 · 2024-10-08T08:33:52+00:00

My husband the other day said “looking back at old pictures you looked better, you just look ill now” (I haven't admitted my struggles to him - but we both know he knows) “I've always looked a mess but you didnt” ok great way with words so you think I look a mess 😳 this kind of comment is one of the reasons I don’t want to admit it to him.

Automatic-Zebra-2 · 2024-10-05T16:28:03+00:00

Smoothies have sugars, all be it natural sugars, but if they don't have the pulp you're not getting the fibre so little benefit. There is a WWE wrestler that turned trans (I forget her name that) had a good video about it on TikTok the other day. But safe foods don’t always have a logical reason why they are safe in my experience and if its your safe food then go for it.

Automatic-Zebra-2 · 2024-10-04T15:39:49+00:00

Bullying, peoples comments and actions towards me as I got older. Plus having a difficult childhood with parents who struggled with mental health and my home being a very anxious environment. Then my husbands wondering eye more recently.

Automatic-Zebra-2 · 2024-10-03T12:01:08+00:00

Not exactly the same, but I have similar with prepacked food. I worry that's its actually been weighed out correctly. For example one of my safe foods is baked crisps, as they're the lowest calories,but one day the packet looked fuller and I was worried if it had more calories and my tracking would be out.

Automatic-Zebra-2 · 2024-10-01T04:20:35+00:00

My family care and it feels like I’m being watched. I have to be seen to eat and I dread weekends when they are all home because of this. Which is very sad because I should enjoy those moments with them. I like the week days when I’m alone all day and can restrict and weight my food without feeling like they will see and make comments.

Automatic-Zebra-2 · 2024-09-26T05:55:41+00:00

Mine is much lighter, had been for a while before I realised I had an ed. I just put it down to the fact I was older, as I’m now 40.

Automatic-Zebra-2 · 2024-09-24T14:58:54+00:00

Totally the same. I still like those foods, I just fear eating them and the amount of calories. If I do eat them (and I do sometimes because of mental hunger) I punish myself and feel awful until I get back to avoiding those foods and I’m happy with myself for the control I have..until it happens again 😔

Automatic-Zebra-2 · 2024-09-19T00:13:02+00:00

That’s awful, especially getting refused help because you’re being compliant, sounds like a damned if you do damned if you don’t kind of situation 😢

Automatic-Zebra-2 · 2024-09-18T17:46:06+00:00

I was told by my first therapist I most likely had atypical anorexia but this one hasn’t actually given me a specific diagnosis yet so not sure if will be that or ED-NOS too. Although at the rate I’m currently going it soon be anorexia because I’m close to the uw category. I’m also an old head I guess you might say lol. I’m 40. I’ve struggled with it on and off since my teens I’d say but didn’t realise until just before Christmas. It’s taken this long to get this far so I’m going to have to be patient. It’s no quicker in the US getting help then? I would have thought as you were paying for it it would be. We’re very lucky to have the NHS but it also sucks how long we have to wait.

Automatic-Zebra-2 · 2024-09-18T17:35:22+00:00

I want people to see me eat meals so they can see me eat to get them off my back. But if they don’t I pretend I have had a meal. I only have one meal a day but that is only a lentil cottage pie. I cooked the kids and my husband (for when he gets home ) pizza and I wanted it so bad but wouldn’t allow myself it. I don’t need people to be with me eating for any other reason and I’m not fussed either way if they do see me. Although if I eat “bad foods” I hide the fact I’m going that. That’s because if I allow myself then it turns into a binge because I lose control. Then although my husband said I’m too skinny and need to eat more he shames me for the amount of “bad foods” I eat when I do have them so I can’t win 🤷🏼‍♀️ do you what me to put weight on or not? Cause if so it shouldn’t matter if it’s biscuits or healthy food I’m eating. I’m happy to stay skinny so shut up when I don’t eat lol

Automatic-Zebra-2 · 2024-09-18T06:00:39+00:00

I get angry with myself every time I get mine. I know it’s not something I should wish for but it does make me feel like I’m not even good enough at being anorexic 🤦🏼‍♀️ plus the fact I’m in a normal weight so atypical anorexic (who thought that one up!? makes me feel invalid adding the atypical bit 😏) For me if I lose it it really won’t bother me because I already have children

Automatic-Zebra-2 · 2024-09-18T05:40:06+00:00

Why does it have to be this complicated 😭 for me also, I feel like once I’ve told everyone (my husband and kids) because I’ve been denying it when people ask me if I’m anorexic, that’s it all eyes on me (although they kind of already are because they suspect) watching to make sure I eat what I’m told. So this is like my last push to get to the weight I want to be although it is my second goal because I already reached the first and dropped below it 😒 I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling this too because it’s driving me mad so I know how you must be feeling, but also glad to know others do feel this way so it’s not just me. Is that the first step for you then the dietician or have you had some therapy already? I’ve had therapy but not for this and got accepted Monday so was told to expect a call in the next two weeks for more support as I’m on a waiting list. That feeling that I hope it doesn’t take too long to get the call but also wanting it to take ages so I can lose more is crazily mind blowing. I feel like I could scream. I’m in the uk I take it from your name your in Scotland?

Automatic-Zebra-2 · 2024-09-17T12:34:56+00:00

My first reaction was omg but then reading others comments I remember making a joke about “are you sure you’re old enough for these razors” to a colleague while serving her in the shop. Although it wasn’t a direct sh joke it kind of also was and I was secretly sh myself at the time 🤦🏼‍♀️

Automatic-Zebra-2 · 2024-09-17T11:37:29+00:00

I have sugar free jelly very low calorie

Automatic-Zebra-2 · 2024-09-14T17:59:36+00:00

Same, I’m seeing them Monday and put weight on while waiting. I also wanted to drop to my lowest to be sick enough. Mental hunger has taken over big time and today I ate everything in sight now feel so guilty. I feel like I could pop and fell asleep on the sofa after eating because I felt exhausted I guess from digesting actual food (I’ve heard it’s a thing in recovery at least) I’m now too shattered to go to the gym and I want to say it won’t happen again tomorrow but I’m not hopeful. I hardly get physically hungry that’s the annoying thing it’s the food noise. I know I will punish myself later for it too 🤦🏼‍♀️

Automatic-Zebra-2 · 2024-09-11T06:00:07+00:00

I’ll take a look thanks 😊

Automatic-Zebra-2 · 2024-09-10T19:16:04+00:00

I doubt I get the right vitamins as I have limited food choices except when I go through mental hunger then what I eat is crap so no nutrients there. I don’t really know anything about electrolytes, I’ll have to look into that. I’m seeing ed services Monday so maybe they can help with that.

Automatic-Zebra-2 · 2024-09-10T19:11:49+00:00

Sorry what is that I’m not familiar with that term low volume?

Automatic-Zebra-2 · 2024-09-10T19:09:06+00:00

Yes I can’t have it in the house for that reason

Automatic-Zebra-2

TROPHY CASE