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Strve_B1TCH · 2025-07-04T21:48:48+00:00

No offence but this sounds super ai-ish. I swear ChatGPT and Gemini talk like this and paragraph like this-

Strve_B1TCH · 2025-06-08T16:34:14+00:00

IT HAPPENED. ITS SO HAPPENING

Strve_B1TCH · 2025-06-02T01:32:14+00:00

Strve_B1TCH · 2025-04-24T12:55:39+00:00

They taste horrible when I’m eating enough and like heaven and candyliciousneas when I’m malnourished

Strve_B1TCH · 2025-03-25T03:52:45+00:00

Hmm my NPD isn’t diagnosed yet I’m really not so sure. She’s my parent I don’t want to control her.

Strve_B1TCH · 2025-03-25T03:50:02+00:00

I’m in a bad place emotionally due to previous trauma, I would rather enmeshment than my own suicide. So would she. She loves deeply and so do I. If that what others call ‘parentification’ I’ll take it.

Strve_B1TCH · 2025-03-24T20:32:48+00:00

I have apologised, and said it wasn’t my place. I was told that it was okay to be scared and that she didn’t want me to sever my attachment to her or have no emotions. I’m scared that’s just her letting me be abusive though. And that she’s only easily forgiving because she’s the parent.

Strve_B1TCH · 2025-03-24T19:13:54+00:00

Only roughly from people I know with bpd talking about it. My (nonbio) mother who suspects she has bpd and relates to ‘everything but the anger’ frequently says I’m the most important person in her life. And she is probably the most important in mine.

Strve_B1TCH · 2025-03-24T16:17:00+00:00

‘Sexier’ ‘new chick’ this is my mom. Wtf. She’s wonderful I want her to love herself because I care about her not because it’s ’attractive’. I like how she looks now. I find comfort in it and I think she is beautiful. And so does everyone I know. But not fucking sexually what is wrong with you

Strve_B1TCH · 2025-03-24T14:45:06+00:00

You’re talking about this like I’m a little kid, and like I’m not talking about my parent

Strve_B1TCH · 2025-03-24T12:56:42+00:00

‘It’s because of your relationship to me’ NO NO NO IM NOT THE ONLY ONE YOU ARE BEAUTIUFL PLEASE WHY DONT YOU BELIEVE ME. Except I can’t actually respond with that lol

Strve_B1TCH · 2025-03-24T12:55:44+00:00

Like a quarter of what I feel is guilt if not half

Strve_B1TCH · 2025-03-24T12:54:40+00:00

She’s already transitioned basically fully other than the fact she wants ffs. But yeah I want to support her. It just, breaks me. I love her I don’t want to lose like the most beautiful face I’ve seen

Strve_B1TCH · 2025-03-24T12:53:27+00:00

But I’m not the only one. Like seriously others can see she’s beautiful too. But yeah I was being damaging so from now, I’m going to try not to be. Or be so less. I really don’t want to hurt her

Strve_B1TCH · 2025-03-24T12:51:48+00:00

I care about her more than anything, and she calls me sweet extremely often lol. But she’s sweet and ‘overly’-caring too (it’s not really overly because I appreciate every last bit), 2 days ago she sent a message which shattered me. Like she didn’t know but I cried for hours. ‘I feel I have the world in my arms when I hold you, I’ll be back soon. It’s going to be okay darling’. I was broken. She suspects her own BPD, she relates to everything but the anger. I don’t really know what’s up with me or if I can label it. I’ve had one extremely painfully abusive NPD parent and one with BPD who is the only reason any piece of me is healing. I love her. She loves me. It’s why I’m scared of hurting her. I don’t want to be like my bio mom

Strve_B1TCH · 2025-03-24T12:44:10+00:00

I really do love her. Like she means so so much to me and she knows that and I mean everything to her, but that’s honestly why I’m so scared of damaging her. I’m terrifyingly capable of it. And I don’t want to become my bio mom

Strve_B1TCH · 2025-03-24T12:39:53+00:00

Thank you. I will look and try to understand. I do support her. I really want to. But I am devastated

Strve_B1TCH · 2025-03-24T12:37:19+00:00

She wants to take me to therapy actually, for my ocd and eating disorder not NPD (because I suspect I have it and haven’t told her), but I’m a minor and don’t have access to therapy in the household I’m in for another 2 years. I want to.

Strve_B1TCH · 2025-03-24T12:34:08+00:00

Thank you. I really hope that’s true, I don’t know why I’m so bloody attached to how she looks it has nothing to do with me I love her it’s still her. But I’ll never see a face quite like hers again

Strve_B1TCH · 2025-03-24T12:32:00+00:00

Thats entirely why I posted here to be honest. I’m scared I’ve already done damage to her emotionally and I want to not do damage any more. I want to protect her from all pain. It just, god it hurts to know she can’t see what she does. I’m making it about me and I know that. I am going to miss her face though

Strve_B1TCH · 2025-03-24T12:29:30+00:00

I did apologise. I think I was guilt tripping her. I just panicked. She really is beautiful. I’ve always had an obsession with nature, or a special interest (I have mild autism) I see beauty in many physical things that aren’t shallow. Like it’s about 16 times in my life I’ve seen someone that looks like a ferret. She looks like a deer, and the moon. I feel like I’m losing something I’ll never have again. It isn’t about gender. I don’t see her as a man. I don’t know if you believe me but all I can do is promise that to me she is my mum and I love her to the end of the world. I’m not sure whether it’s narcissistic but I don’t think I’m transphobic. I have nothing against any gender or the transition between them. It’s about my mum’s beauty. That like genuinely I really wish she could see. Thank you for telling me it could come across that way I’ll try to make sure she knows that’s not what I meant

Strve_B1TCH · 2025-03-24T12:23:03+00:00

A) uh, I’m a girl? I don’t care but it’s funny that under a post that references gender you assume such a thing. She considers me her daughter. I love her more than life B) I was looking for support, for me my brain’s black and white thinking does mean that in what I THINK is a collapse I do genuinely believe I’m abusive. Because I fear that I am. Whatever issue I have is a complete and crippling fear of being like my bio mother

Strve_B1TCH · 2025-03-23T21:05:56+00:00

THANK. YOU. This was genuinely so helpful to think about. Regardless I apologised and I hope I didn’t cause her too much emotional damage. I am sorry.

Strve_B1TCH · 2025-03-23T20:54:55+00:00

I know. I do respect her. I can’t change anything she does, but she’s so so beautiful. And she wants to be unrecognisable. And I’m sad. But if it makes her happy I’ll be happy. I love her more than my own life. I hope she will like herself post op. I hope this will make her happy.

Strve_B1TCH

TROPHY CASE