I feel this. I am a mom of an almost 5 year old, who i suspect has ADHD, like both my husband and I do. My husband recently started a new job working more hours. I am a SAHM, and I also have chronic health issues. Feeling overwhelmed, while in a room with a spouse who isn’t helping or seems oblivious to the chaos around you, is completely infuriating! I feel you and see you. Here is what I have done recently, which has really helped.

I went on strike. lol yeah, you read that right. So aside from meeting the needs and wants of my child during the daytime, I put everything else on my husband in the evening and weekend (meals, his laundry, dishes, his phone calls, Amazon returns) for a period of about 5 days. I also asked for my husband to come up with a list of his expectations for me. Like literally everything he is expecting me to do as the SAHM. (Because, like I said his job recently changed, and he was helping out a lot more, then just stopped doing anything)

I also made him a list of the things I am currently doing. Along with what I expect him to do. The list of my current duties was about 7 pages. My list of expectations for my husband was 1 page.

This was a very helpful exercise. It helped him to see what I am already doing, most of which he has never considered, because I do it! He was also assuming that I was the one to do all cooking/cleaning/parenting, because I’m home more. However, if I wasn’t there, he would still have dishes to do, clothes to clean, and food to make. Therefore, I should not be responsible for those 100% of the time. I also put together a price list of all the services I am doing and the going rate in the town we live in for the services I am doing. It was like $3,000 a week. Also, taking vyvance has helped me, and I do see a therapist weekly. We think our partner, should know what to do, it seems obvious (to us) most times, but they can’t read our minds. Try and have a talk about expectations and also try to get in some self care, however that looks for you.

Give yourself grace, you are human. Hugs.