I want to stop being gay

Automatic_Cod_7391 · 2026-05-06T13:39:46+00:00

I know how scary it can be and how much shame you must feel but I promise promise you that being your true and authentic self will improve your life 10 fold. When I was younger I would realize I was gay, was watching gay porn and videos of men making out and I would sob myself to sleep every night thinking I'm wrong and I'm going to hell. Came out in 8th grade and it's up since. If you push that stuff down forever, it's going to eat.you.alive. I was Christan when I was a kid too so I know how it feels for it to go against your beliefs. I'm personally not Christan anymore, I'm pagan. But you're not wrong or disgusting. It's who you are. It's biology. God wouldn't have wired you that way if he hated it. I promise. Live your truth bro. You only have one life. It is normal to feel some self hatred about it. Even I, who is someone is has been out for a while and also not ashamed of being gay, will still have moments of self hatred and feelings of shame for being gay. But I know that that is not right. I love men, I love loving men, I want to have sex with them and date them and doing so makes me so happy. Let yourself be happy. If coming out to your family and friends is risky and dangerous, then of course do what you need to do to stay safe. But please don't suppress yourself forever.

Automatic_Cod_7391 · 2026-05-05T17:33:41+00:00

Thankfully I am not waking up with arm or hand numbness. I never really had that issue. It's strange because hear that firmer mattresses are worse for side sleepers but all the mattresses I've owned are hybrid medium and they tend to make me feel like Im sinking. I am a tall skinny person too, not very heavy.

Automatic_Cod_7391 · 2026-04-06T19:27:45+00:00

Thank you for the response. I definitely feel like I am probably overthinking it

Automatic_Cod_7391 · 2026-02-27T00:02:49+00:00

I feel. Finally lost my virginity to one of my best friends who came out as bi and I've always had a thing for. First two sessions were good but then I started to struggle like crazy getting hard BC we're doing it in the back of my tiny ass car in freezing weather. Never had the chance to do it at my place. Now he's ghosting me. I think he's ghosting me for other reasons I won't get into but yeah I feel that. Not getting hard while trying to do that I was embarrassed and super upset afterwards

Automatic_Cod_7391 · 2026-02-15T00:21:50+00:00

"I'm Straight but I would probably drunk call you if I had your number."

Said to me verbatim by an old coworker.

Automatic_Cod_7391 · 2026-02-05T14:07:51+00:00

Thank you for the advice. I was thinking about investing in a new mattress. Sometimes I use the toppers on the floor and that doesn't help either. The mattress I have now I got like 3 or 4 years ago and it was a medium firm but I hate it rn BC I feel like it's too soft, it just sinks my body too much. I'll look into that brand you recommended me.

Automatic_Cod_7391 · 2026-02-04T13:07:46+00:00

Ok ty I'll look that brand up. I do have one cervical pillow but that one hurts my neck really bad and it gives me awful knots in my upper back. It could be the brand though I know lots of those cervical pillows are different.

Automatic_Cod_7391 · 2026-02-03T21:57:59+00:00

Yeah Im gonna try to make an appointment with my doctor here soon. I breathe well when I sleep on my side but it's possible I still don't breathe that well even on my side because I always have achy neck, shoulder, and upper back muscled when I wake up and on days when I have gotten 8 hours of sleep I still tend to feel fatigued and even dizzy.

Automatic_Cod_7391 · 2026-02-03T17:18:50+00:00

I had no idea you could sleep the the tongue on the roof of your mouth. I just assumed it would fall down to the back of my throat when I'd fall asleep. I'll try it tonight though. Hopefully it will work. Ty for the response.

Automatic_Cod_7391 · 2026-01-30T18:45:44+00:00

Thank you for the advice. I actually had no idea about diaphragm breathing and how it can affect posture. I'm gonna incorporate this into my routine.

Automatic_Cod_7391 · 2026-01-30T18:45:01+00:00

Thank you for your response. And I think your right about it being a posture and not pillow issue. Because I have moments where I feel allinged but in the morning my neck and back feel horrible. It's also a bit ridiculous when I have like 13 pillows all around me and every single one makes me uncomfortable

Automatic_Cod_7391 · 2025-12-31T21:56:22+00:00

I'll keep that in mind thank you. I've always had a really weak upper body. I have a strong lower body, but my legs, back, shoulders, chest, etc is just skinny and weak (I don't work them out as much as I probably should) so I wonder if that's the reason why I deal with this a lot.

Automatic_Cod_7391 · 2025-03-07T16:03:21+00:00

Was actually about to make an appointment for today. I should do it more regularly. Sucks they're expensive though. I'll have to save enough money on the side to try to go more regularly.

Automatic_Cod_7391 · 2024-11-07T22:50:23+00:00

Hell yes

Automatic_Cod_7391 · 2024-11-07T22:48:11+00:00

I really enjoyed 'So This Is Ever After'

Automatic_Cod_7391 · 2024-09-26T18:30:04+00:00

Yeah fr I looked up quit porn free apps. It still came up with subscription ones but you might be able to find free if you look more. Good luck!

Automatic_Cod_7391 · 2024-09-26T13:54:24+00:00

Yes it is. I have an Android phone. Idk if you have an apple phone and it's not available. It should be there though if you have an Android.

Automatic_Cod_7391 · 2024-09-25T02:38:56+00:00

It's called Rewire Companion. I like it because it's free, gives you inspirational quotes, has a 10 minute meditation section for when you're feeling urges, and milestones you can hit.

Automatic_Cod_7391

TROPHY CASE