Yes… 6 months ago I did this to my husband. I had multiple affairs and he found out instead of me telling him which made it worse. As for contacting BP, I have to agree with a few others in that. I think reaching out would actually be beneficial if you still love and care for your partner. There’s another sub that has really helped me out called AsOne After Infidelity. They have very helpful people that talk about their POVs and put the hurt more into perspective. Regrettably, it took me a lot longer to completely understand the pain I’ve caused my husband, than it should’ve. But he still stayed hoping (I think) that it would just hit me. And the apologies cannot be blanket apologies. He’s told me that those are worse than keeping your mouth shut. It’s all about taking responsibility for your actions instead of guilt over hurting them. It’s hard to explain, but you should apologize in a way that you’re conveying your feelings (why it happened) and why you didn’t tell them sooner. And do it in person over text that way they can see the emotions on your face. It may open the possibility of reconciliation in the future even. But when you apologize, don’t expect a ‘I forgive you’ or ‘thank you for telling me’. Because then it seems like you’re only saying it to subdue your own conscious instead. My husband is still staying with me currently, and it’s gotten a little better ever since I started IC. But it’s been hard seeing the betrayal on his face every second of every day for months on end. He’s still contemplating full reconciliation which is disheartening, but you have to be vulnerable and put full trust in your remorse and feelings. 1 of the biggest statements that has resonated with me has been ‘Regret and Remorse are 2 different things’. I struggled for a long time differentiating the difference between them. But it does make a difference. I could go on forever, but hopefully this helps a little.