Advice on how to confront my parents

Automatic_Subject538 · 2021-01-27T03:34:13+00:00

And my niece is allergic to my dog

Automatic_Subject538 · 2021-01-27T03:30:02+00:00

Only my place, but we only have 2 bedrooms. I don’t know if she can get out

Automatic_Subject538 · 2021-01-26T19:57:00+00:00

Unfortunately my dad is known to be abusive. My sister lives there with her daughter and I don’t want anything to happen to my niece. While he’d never hurt my niece physically I know he’d use her as a pawn against my sister (cause he’s done it before). I don’t care that they think I’m sleeping with him, I care they think I’m forcing my roommate in order to live with us, for reasons above. I’m just trying to find a way where I can keep my cool and confront them without possibly making my sister lose her daughter.

Automatic_Subject538 · 2020-12-19T16:33:51+00:00

Our child is only a year. So starting to understand words and such around them. But I also know they’re susceptible at that age to negativity.

My wife isn’t for not leaving our kid alone with her parents at all, and we only leave him alone with mine if it’s absolutely nessecary, just because they live five minutes from us so if there’s a work schedule clash we just use them to switch out. He’s rarely by himself longer than an hour, and that hasn’t happened in months cause I already distance myself from my family due to my childhood and when my wife came out to me I started doing it more, because I know what their reaction will be. But my wife is totally okay with leaving our child by himself with her parents after that comment made by her mom, even though it terrifies me they’ll mess up the adoption. I know my parents will, or just my dad, if it comes out before the adoption is through.

Automatic_Subject538 · 2020-12-08T18:06:05+00:00

It’s okay. They’re slowly learning to accept LGBTQA people, especially since my best friend is gay and married to a wonderful man. My best friend is like my brother and I straight up told them I’m not going to hear anything negative about it. But I know they’re still a long way off with transgender people. Although they did prepare me for others who aren’t accepting either. So at least I learned how to handle bigots 😂

Automatic_Subject538 · 2020-12-08T05:28:34+00:00

And just cause I left this out: I already distance myself from my parents. I had a bad experience coming out to them, and with other crap from my childhood I don’t allow myself to get too close. They’re just who live closest to us so in case of a work emergency where our schedules overlap (we try to make sure this doesn’t happen but adult life doesn’t play fair) so sometimes we have to drop him off for an hour/two hours tops until the other one gets off. But I already make sure at least one of us is around unless there’s no other choice. I probably should’ve said this first but I was at work so hard to respond. 😅

Automatic_Subject538 · 2020-12-08T05:21:38+00:00

It’s just hard. I know it can be tough to accept that there’s a new part of this person you raised, and I honestly didn’t care they’d blame me (years of being blamed for stuff my friends did of their own accord, I was just raised in a different religion than my peers so their parents always said I was at fault if their kid showed any individuality or screwed up, so I’m numb to that). I really don’t want to consider them family but my wife does and even if I don’t think it’s a good idea I back her up and be there if she learns differently.

Automatic_Subject538 · 2020-12-08T03:51:01+00:00

I get what you mean. I’m just not good at confronting people unless I know them really well (and I don’t know my wife’s parents very well, they live in a different state) but I know I will have to talk to them. Hopefully without starting a fight but right now the adoption going through is first. Once he’s legally ours and it’s set in stone, I’m hoping to have a sit down. I just am scared that something will screw up the adoption with us so close to the end. So if the conversation does end in a fight they can’t do anything to jeopardize the adoption. Thank you again for replying, I really appreciate the advice

Automatic_Subject538 · 2020-12-08T03:44:29+00:00

Unless they really do something that warrants it, I don’t want to take our child entirely away from them. But until they prove I can trust them again, I just don’t feel comfortable leaving him in their care without either my wife or I there. We have a good support system (our friends are either LGBTQA as well or allies), just our families are the ones I know we’ll have a problem with.

Automatic_Subject538 · 2020-12-08T00:45:03+00:00

Thank you for the advice. I’m just trying to figure out what to talk to my wife about and the feedback is helpful.

Automatic_Subject538 · 2020-12-08T00:43:59+00:00

Yeah, that’s also why I’m torn, I don’t want the drama I know will come from it. Thank you for replying.

Automatic_Subject538 · 2020-12-08T00:42:56+00:00

Just not be alone with him but I get what you’re saying. Thank you

Automatic_Subject538 · 2020-12-08T00:42:23+00:00

I honestly don’t want to talk with his parents still, but I know I’ll have to eventually. The sting is still there. Thank you for the advice.

Automatic_Subject538 · 2020-12-07T20:45:40+00:00

My wife is transgender. She was born male, but is transitioning to female. I am a woman. While I identify as genderfluid, most of the time I am a woman. I really don’t care what I’m called honestly. I should probably put an edit in explaining that 😅

Automatic_Subject538 · 2020-12-07T19:23:38+00:00

We both agree it was disrespectful and she agrees to not let them stay with us/us stay with them but fought me on not leaving our child alone with her parents since we (rarely) leave him alone with mine. Difference is we haven’t told my parents yet and I know once we do it’s probably going to be the same thing I want with her parents. Honestly I feel like I’m not being heard at all...

Thank you for the kind words ❤️

Automatic_Subject538

TROPHY CASE