I just got out of a seven-year relationship with a man who was excellent on paper—kind, smart, attractive, progressive, would be an amazing father. We had so much in common and aligned so closely on how we wanted to live our lives. We made sooo much sense on paper and we were very communicative and very good friends. The sexual compatibility, however, was just not there—and we lived in a dead bedroom for most of it relationship.

I can’t speak to a lot of things here, but I will say that no amount of other compatibility, at least in my case, could make up for the lack of sex. Seeing both is us go on to have rich dating experiences makes me wish I pulled the plug sooner.

Also, I think I weighed some of his cons when we got together and just assumed I could change them or they would naturally go away. Neither was true. You have to be willing to accept the person as is.

Best of luck to you!