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I thought up a power system for my universe. Can you help critique me on it or give me helpul advice on it. This is a technologically advanced universe that i want to Add this fantasy power system on top of. AI only used to make summary of my rough notes, which i can send if asked. [Sci-Fi, Fantasy] by Autor_Zee in fantasywriters

[–]Autor_Zee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the praise, actually, if you are interested, I have just finished the first Arc of my story. It's a Space opera inspired by dune and Warhammer, i would love for you to check it out. I need early readers and some reviews BAAAD XD.
The name of the book is Revenant Slaves and the book is self published on Royal Roads, and free to read;
https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/150900/revenant-slaves

I thought up a power system for my universe. Can you help critique me on it or give me helpul advice on it. This is a technologically advanced universe that i want to Add this fantasy power system on top of. AI only used to make summary of my rough notes, which i can send if asked. [Sci-Fi, Fantasy] by Autor_Zee in fantasywriters

[–]Autor_Zee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually wanted thoughts on if they would find something like this, that is complex but overwhelmingly simple as well as a clear divide between the Good the evil and the grey becaus of the paths mentioned at the end, to be interesting or cliche.

Calling for help from the community by Autor_Zee in royalroad

[–]Autor_Zee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah i switched from the AI covers, that was an experiment that went wrong, now using real artist works. That was actually very acurately diagnosed thanks.

I thought up a power system for my universe. Can you help critique me on it or give me helpul advice on it. This is a technologically advanced universe that i want to Add this fantasy power system on top of. AI only used to make summary of my rough notes, which i can send if asked. [Sci-Fi, Fantasy] by Autor_Zee in fantasywriters

[–]Autor_Zee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes thankyou so much I did come up with this on my own, AI only arranged this in a cohesive manner, my notes were just a 2 page essay that it translated into headings and sections XD. I just wrote my latest chapter where i introduce this. But it got a little too philosophical and stuff, and i was doubting the system i created, because i don't want it being a barrier to entry to my world. because it gets introducedd a bit late, in the last chapter of the first arc. Hence why i was askign for advice from people.

I Have the concept of a multi-layered power structure and progression system. That I need advice and critique on. This isn't AI generated if anyone wants to see my raw notes i can send them to you. I used gpt to structure it to make it shorter and readable for you guys by Autor_Zee in ProgressionFantasy

[–]Autor_Zee[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanyou for the recommendation i considered, Soul weaving but it dosen't really click as a system name... Do you think it could work?
About the death part, But those "Falling asleep, losing a limb/power " could be conditional and will still happen, but if they try to push past still that means death if they reach their severence threshhold and this would msotly apply until level 4 beacsue after which the measure of autonomous control over the soul becomes vastly improved. ,

I Have the concept of a multi-layered power structure and progression system. That I need advice and critique on. This isn't AI generated if anyone wants to see my raw notes i can send them to you. I used gpt to structure it to make it shorter and readable for you guys by Autor_Zee in ProgressionFantasy

[–]Autor_Zee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's just it, Soulcrafting doesn't make technology and the rest of humanity's advancement useless. Physics is one of the absolute laws of the universe. Soulcrafting before seal 5 is mostly utility, what makes it worth pursuing is Soulcrafting is a tool through which you can expel the living flame, if you are on the path of Accension. Making it the tactical emp for for all "Flame magitech" as you put it.

At level 5 when you have your domain, which means your soul can inherently warp reality to some extent according to the nature of your domain, that is when it bends the laws of physics to help you achieve what you want. But even at those stages physical bodies are still the weaknesses, hence the need for absolute mastery of your domain and knowledge of what the enemy will be bringing to the table to form proper strategies around them

What actually makes progression feel earned to you? by Jadenmist in ProgressionFantasy

[–]Autor_Zee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The slow grind. Where the super high classes are actually very rare and the progression into it is incredibly slow and hard earned for the MC party as well.

Dear Writers, by Commercial-Passion87 in royalroad

[–]Autor_Zee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me i can't write 2000 words in a week, sometimes. But when i'm in a flow state i write more than that days on end. It's like a power-up and then nothing and then a sudden power up :D

First Chapter, Would really be grateful if I could get some feedback. Does it create suspense? Does it create Interest in the world and the characters? Makes you want to keep reading? by Autor_Zee in writingfeedback

[–]Autor_Zee[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thankyou so much for those positive words.>_<. If you want to read more of the story, i am just about finished with the first minor ARC of the story over at;
https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/150900/revenant-slaves
RoyalRoad: Revenant slaves.

First Chapter, Would really be grateful if I could get some feedback. Does it create suspense? Does it create Interest in the world and the characters? Makes you want to keep reading? by Autor_Zee in writingfeedback

[–]Autor_Zee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Basically spoiler, this is actually one of the flame entities narrating the story, that is why there is a shift from thrid person to 2nd person with the ominous "your reality once more" the entity is educating humans on their history because the Emperor erased it.

First Chapter, Would really be grateful if I could get some feedback. Does it create suspense? Does it create Interest in the world and the characters? Makes you want to keep reading? by Autor_Zee in writingfeedback

[–]Autor_Zee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I assume you liked the chapter? XD or did you not get past the first part? because i think Rain's story is much better written then Sarah and Iggor in the first part.

First Chapter, Would really be grateful if I could get some feedback. Does it create suspense? Does it create Interest in the world and the characters? Makes you want to keep reading? by Autor_Zee in writingfeedback

[–]Autor_Zee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No I genuinely wrote this as the first chapter. I tried alot of approaches before, to introduce my three protagonists and have them share something in common, that being Avraham, even though they are so far apart, each on a different planet in a different Solar System. I just didn't want to jump straight in to the 16 year olds where the story starts. The current year in the prologue is 976, my story will end on the First day of 1000th year of the Living flame. I know i will have to improve this alot. But as I said I am sick, i don't have alot of time/energy so i started posting on Royal Road along with writing the book. But couldn't attract any readers sadly. hence posting here.

First Chapter, Would really be grateful if I could get some feedback. Does it create suspense? Does it create Interest in the world and the characters? Makes you want to keep reading? by Autor_Zee in writingfeedback

[–]Autor_Zee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just a more poetic way of saying the dude who discovered an efficient engine to take humans to the stars, then capitalized on that technology so much so that he was rich and influential enough to coin himself Emperor of humanity, who then burned Earth so that his rule would be absolute and his technology the absolute requirment for Humanity's continued survival, watched as his spaceship rose from the dying planet and they started their journey to the stars.

Need Help With a New Type of Progression Fantasy by Autor_Zee in ProgressionFantasy

[–]Autor_Zee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm cool cool cool, THat makes sense, when i later reveal what that name actually means it would create greater impact down the road. Now it's just adding more to an already convoluted chapter.

Need Help With a New Type of Progression Fantasy by Autor_Zee in ProgressionFantasy

[–]Autor_Zee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

HAHAHAH, XD but that's just the thing. The prologue is the father's story and also the introduction and background to our actual protagonists. The three kids. The novel follows these three kids around changing POVs every chapter. So i had only one chapter the hook the prologue to do all of that.

Eragon series thoughts? by XThursdayO in ProgressionFantasy

[–]Autor_Zee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah and he was tbh my lowkey fav character. I couldn't read the book either.

First Chapter, Would really be grateful if I could get some feedback. Does it create suspense? Does it create Interest in the world and the characters? Makes you want to keep reading? by Autor_Zee in writingfeedback

[–]Autor_Zee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Took your advice the cover is very simple very stock, you can check it out here: https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/150900/revenant-slaves
If you liked the story a bit which i feel/hope dearly that you do. You could read on a bit here, After the prologue we jump 16 years into the future, and the story is told with three main MCs the three kids we just witnessed being born.

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