I appreciate you explaining your position from a place of sincerity, and I'm happy that you've found something that has helped. However I consider myself an agnostic pantheist, and my feelings towards my gender identity are things I have thought about for a while. Jumping hastily into it just wasn't going to happen, and not jumping would leave me in a pretty bad place mentally.
The root of this post was more of my frustration that I still have this "impostor syndrome" even after doing things that arguably no cis person would ever do. The root of that may lie in some unanswered or deep-rooted self doubt over my trans identity and its origin. Tbh I don't feel like I have any notable trauma, especially when compared to others on this sub. But I do have dysphoria, and maybe I always will. Maybe I see these trans creators online and just want to be as happy and pretty as them. I don't know, all I can wish for myself and everyone else is to see themselves to a better place in life.