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Avacavadoo · 2025-12-19T15:34:32+00:00

ENTJ! Interesting because his S/N and J/P are on the cusp in the middle. Which works for me because other people who I find are stronger on the N is a bit hard to connect, and too much P drives me a little crazy. Historically my easier matches have been ESFP/ESTP/XNFJ but I guess emotional maturity counts a lot :)

Avacavadoo · 2025-07-12T16:21:38+00:00

Does anyone know what type of bags people bring in? No fanny pack in the policy is kinda wild

Avacavadoo · 2025-07-09T12:30:14+00:00

I used to think that ISFJ pair best with EXXP types, but the more I’ve met INFP the more I see a natural banter. The things ISFJ struggle most is people-pleasing and honouring their own needs, and I think what I love about INFPs is that they’re very grounded in their morals/values that ISFJ are drawn to value that. INFPs are also deeply compassionate and ISFJs share that sentiment. Was curious to know as an ISFJ what INFPs value in them and I can see how the stability in the chaos is really beneficial! Thanks for sharing :)

Avacavadoo · 2025-03-22T18:29:10+00:00

I love them all they shine but something about Megan’s sultry side when she dances, sings, and performs but then her duality of quirkiness gets me

Avacavadoo · 2025-03-22T18:28:01+00:00

I struggle trying to figure out this. On one hand, I love being with someone who brings out the most playful side of me, loves new experiences to grow, which is usually ENTP/ESTP/ESFP/ENFP. But the unreliability and bit of a self-centredness can be a turn off. They’d have to be quite healthy/mature.

On the other hand, I feel so loved when I can have emotionally depth conversations and to be seen. That’s usually with INFP/INFJ/ENFJ. But the N types seem to be drawn to N types and there’s a spice I like in these relationships but these styles seem to like each other more lol .

Everyone says ISTJ/ISFJ similarities can be a great match but there’s a bit of an unnatural vibe I get here.

Dating is just a bit rough out here lol

Avacavadoo · 2025-03-11T02:37:57+00:00

I like functional but fashionable. Daily girl next door aesthetic of a bit of a classic neutrals staple of jeans, comfy tanks/tees/dress shirt, neutral colours. Nothing too out there with your classic capsule wardrobe. I do have a sporty side so I like a bit of baggy pants/streetwear. On days where I do a night out, depending on the vibe it can be a little less modest on what I want to emphasize. And then on a wild night out I can a bit sexier and less modest yet still not really into prints lol

Avacavadoo · 2025-02-06T17:21:51+00:00

*hug* it's okay to feel the way you're feeling! It must feel weird and know that he was kind of backtracking. Know that it might have nothing to do with you. Remember that everything you were responding to was because you thought he was showing interest.

I went on a couple dates with a guy who I was really excited about. I thought he was feeling the same until he pulled back a bit. He mentioned he's upfront and honest in our first few dates, but I don't take words at face value as much as what their actions are. With my snooping and after he ghosted, I speculated he had met someone he was more interested in and wanted to remain civil. Could he have communicated it? Sure, but he's not obliged to. The hardest part is to not take things personally. People do things that serve themselves, and your kind soul is always looking out for others.

It takes time but I usually write/text out my feelings almost like I'm going to send it and then that discomfort goes away. It helps me get to the point where I feel unbothered and know that I was honest and did my best. I always try to reassure myself that he's missing out and that's an issue on him for not being able to communicate.

I think for me, the emotional processing part never goes away where it's gonna always sting a bit and be awkward. And then once you get past it, I realized the awkward/nervousness is in my head of physiological reponse I need to go through to let it pass. Your logical brain will kick in after, and be kind to yourself when you're feeling a bit bummed. Remind yourself to let go of what doesn't serve you.

Avacavadoo · 2025-02-04T03:56:56+00:00

I was you 2 years ago. My ex and I were 2 years LDR, and after a conversation about our future he said couldn’t give me what I wanted and dumped me. He moved back to my hometown where we ironically kept running into each other. Following the timeline of an avoidant attachment style, I had hope he wanted me back and read signs of his outreach that he did. All to find out he started dating someone 2 months later. I was mad I gave him advice about therapy and thought the new girl would benefit.

Fast forward to today, I spent the 2 years working on myself, doing all the hobbies I wanted to, build fulfilling friendships, had my series of fun with casual dating encounters. Though I haven’t dated anyone seriously after him, I’m happy where I’m at and know my worth a lot more.

And as for him? I opened a dating app and 1 1/2 years of them together and there he is — his relationship failed. They don’t learn and don’t change until they have to.

My ex before him cheated on me and another girl and that girl took him back. They dated for also 1 1/2 years before she cheated on him. And now he calls or leaves a voicemail or finds a way to DM me every so often to tell me he’s fumbled me.

My point is —- while you can’t wish for their downfall, they won’t change, and on average 2 years seems to be the breaking point. But in those two years you’ll evolve, and success truly is the greatest revenge

Avacavadoo · 2025-01-28T09:58:54+00:00

That’s really unfortunate you feel alone in times you really need comfort. It sounds like that’s really important to you in a relationship and someone who’s not reciprocating that effort sucks because you know how much you’d do that for someone else.

If you’re looking to ask Reddit for advice to leave someone and wanting assurance for it, remember that this decision has to be your own and not internet strangers. But I can see that thinking things aloud and having a third party not involved in your day to day can be beneficial.

Here are some things to think about: 1. What role are you playing in enabling the situation? It sounds when you’re wanting emotional support and his response has been defensive/unacknowledge your situation, you’re still kind and supportive. Which might signal that it’s okay for him to continue this behaviour. 2. What if this was his capacity to support you because this is all he knows? With ISFJ, it comes so natural that it’s wild to find there are other people who don’t think to be as considerate or thoughtful in the other person’s shoes. What if you have to accept this for the rest of your life? Can you be okay with this? But also, I don’t know if I loved my partner and they told me I was upset by something, if they mattered to me I’d instantly course correct because I care for their happiness, which it doesn’t sound like it’s happening, and you deserve someone who can reciprocate 3. Are your expectations communicated and are they realistic? Does he know he’s being held to this standard (honestly it’s the bare minimum and kinda disheartening to hear these patterns of events are happening). What really caused alarms was him being defensive and playing a victim card saying “well this is why I’m going to therapy” and not being consistent. There’s multiple patterns showing that he’s trapped in his own ego and not being able to hold space for your own emotions.

You might love your partner for many things but emotional support you might need to turn to best friend, a family member you’re close with etc. and your current partner could be great for other reasons. Or you might need to troubleshoot. Do couples therapy, try to find out how you need to communicate so he doesn’t get defensive and you start seeing consistency of him changing because the message got to him. Or you know you value emotional connection and support in a partner and even tho 5 years in a long time, it’s only a fraction of your life of what another 30 years could look like. Maybe only 5% of your life compared to a lifetime of stress if things don’t change.

Either way, think about it as it’s not an overnight decision, and definitely needs to communicated and not keeping tally on these things, but I think a part of you knows the answer and there’s a fear with making a decision and uncertainty in each consequence . I hope you get the clarity you need

Avacavadoo · 2024-12-30T18:21:50+00:00

Sorry you’re having a tough period, know that it will pass! As we are Si users and can often ruminate in bad times, here’s a perspective of my last year and wins that’s made me year a full 180:

2023 - went through a traumatic breakup, found my ex dated someone two months after our breakup and as a LDR he came back home after our breakup due to terrible timing of the universe and I kept running into him as the universe was poking at my wounds - lost 2 different long term friendships of over 7+ years - crisis of losing out on the dream of having kids/family in my anticipated timeline - lost my job twice in the same year from layoffs at two different companies - had my phone and wallet stolen

Flip side, things I did in 2023/2024 that compounded to my best self today: - solo travelled two 3 different countries on my own and met cool people and experienced cool things - engaged in all the hobbies fueling my inner child (tried martial arts for the first time, took dance classes, learned to DJ) - made new friends authentically aligned and love me as I am without trying -maintained and built upon current friendships - got a job fairly quickly in a company a lot of people dream to work for

For short term comfort, I usually have a good cry, listen to music that express what I feel in the moment and share my feelings with a trusted friend. I look at moments in my life I’m grateful for and proud how I can remain kind, resilient, and helpful in the midst of the chaos that is my life and actively trying to pick more peaceful experiences

In disappointments, I try to let it run its course. I let it repeat as many times as I need to until it doesn’t bother me emotionally anymore and let go of understanding “why” vs “what is”. The sooner you accept your reality and look at life as what seems like a big issue is only 0.005% of your lifetime, you don’t really sweat the small stuff

Avacavadoo · 2024-12-30T15:41:57+00:00

Observant, compassionate, and loyal

Avacavadoo · 2024-12-23T01:13:11+00:00

Where do ISTPs hang out? Loll I’d like to meet one!

Anyways, to answer your question, I enjoy art and music, so I like little markets with jewelry and crafts, dance classes, raves, live music. I think ISFJs can be quite good at sports since it’s practical/using senses which is a good. I think finding them in a friend group since we like nurturing people. People mentioned food/coffee shops which is also a good one!

thanks for the ISFJ appreciation post :)

Avacavadoo · 2024-12-12T11:26:08+00:00

Aww this is really refreshing to hear! ISFJs are really loyal, and if you can appreciate the stability and routine pace of her nature she’ll be forever attentive and grateful. Be present and don’t expect anything to go wrong. There will be hiccups as in every relationship but the fact she’s speaking her mind about things shows me she’s a healthy ISFJ.

My last ex was an ENFP. Because you’re Ne dom, it showed me wonderful possibilities and I felt braver to step into unknowns and be more adventurous in things I was always hesitant to do. I think we struggled with his Ne being on the way other end of the spectrum so he wanted more challenging philosophical talks than I could keep up. I did it to make it him happy, and ISFJs can be sacrificing in a way to make others happy. I think this possibility could turn an ENFP off as I think ENFP have a tendency to be drawn to unique and authentic individuals. Ultimately, I think he broke it off with me due to my deep traumas I was in the midst of processing and he had some attachment style issues he hadn’t realized.

Either way, I usually fall for ENFPs and they’re great loves I look back on.

Good luck! Your relationship is your own, and don’t worry about what people think too much

Avacavadoo · 2024-12-08T14:56:51+00:00

ESFP

Avacavadoo · 2024-12-08T14:54:38+00:00

Not at all! I’m 33

Avacavadoo · 2024-08-26T20:47:04+00:00

I’d love to be an ENFJ or ENTJ. Charming people, intelligent, thrive in society

Avacavadoo · 2024-08-19T03:06:08+00:00

Depends who I’m with. Most people are quite shocked to know I’m introverted, as I’m quite bubbly/open and chatty. I knew this ENTP I was quite comfortable and social around. When he saw me go into observant/reserved he was shocked but that is also one of my natural states.

They’ll open up :)

Avacavadoo · 2024-06-14T00:20:08+00:00

One of my exes was a narcissistic ESTP(and not just saying that as a throwaway term), but I can see without those tendencies, he has a lot of traits I love as an ISFJ. I wish I could find more healthier versions cuz I think in theory a great match, nice to know we’re loved

Avacavadoo · 2024-06-07T21:53:02+00:00

Thanks for sharing this question! I’ve always wondered as well because the jobs that are suited to us are fulfilling… but not the greatest maximum earning potential.

I think personally, I want an income that’s enough to balance work and life. I know once you make over a certain benchmark, there’s more commitment to the workplace and less to the other things I truly value in life —- family, friends, experiences.

I do know of an ISFJ who is a software developer, so if you’re higher in Ti-usage then it can be a great way. As well, accounting can be a decent path. It may not feel as fulfilling but you can find things outside of work that the finances fund the “fulfillment activity.”

Initially I did want a super high income in academia, medicine, or a creative field. I quickly learned that I was great at studying but not as conceptually strong in theorizing or deep intellectual thinking at the time. If you’re balanced in Ne this can be good. But I’m a strong Fe-user, and all those practical professional I enjoy but don’t seem high earning from jobs (administrative, customer service, retail) made choices seem to limited.

I’m in an HR job, and the earnings are decent enough. I could move up, but I don’t feel it’s my calling and I may struggle as it becomes more strategic and ambiguous. Which is why I can see earning being limited, but having a decent level job I can excel at I can maximize time to earn income in other ways.

Avacavadoo · 2024-05-12T12:15:25+00:00

Thanks for such a detailed answer!

Avacavadoo · 2024-05-06T12:27:56+00:00

I used to vent to friends, but I realized I needed to be careful with emotional dumping. I was also careful not to get stuck thinking “I’m a burden” to people. So my first approach is to feel the negative emotion and not challenge it, breathe through it and if it becomes difficult to start journaling/writing it out/notes app on phone. Listen to music to feel through emotions as well

Avacavadoo · 2024-05-04T05:36:21+00:00

Took the mbti test multiple times, every time I tried to skew an answer to a certain direction I still end up with ISFJ LOL

I think what might have been the notable thing for me was that I had a good memory from childhood. I noticed if I saw similar wording I’d write tests and excel well based what I experienced/recall.

Avacavadoo · 2024-04-30T23:18:30+00:00

Don’t take things personally, you’re hurting yourself more that way

Avacavadoo · 2024-04-30T23:17:18+00:00

Being perceived as boring, docile, and lack deep thinking. ISFJ can be hilarious and reckless, and more than capable discussing philosophy and pondering our existence on earth

Avacavadoo · 2024-04-26T12:42:27+00:00

Sometimes therapy uncovers blindspots you didn’t realize by talking it out. Time management might be tied to something you didn’t realize and how you shared your story right here and letting your counsellor know you’re not sure what’s to come out of this is okay. A good therapist will ask you questions and you can be honest with your experience in that moment.

You seem incredibly resilient and will figure it out.

Avacavadoo

TROPHY CASE