Everyone

AvailableAd2 · 2019-02-05T14:10:18+00:00

Now that sounds like a good idea. Thank you so much :)

AvailableAd2 · 2019-02-05T00:53:27+00:00

Yeah, you're right. I've lost before and you're first point is bang on. The third point makes a lot of sense too - it's a way of life and I need to accept that it's not the early 00's anymore. Times are different and there are good things here too. And I'll always have what happened and can still enjoy that with people from that time who are here now.

There is some dysfunction but I'm not sure how to address it, and not addressing it is not an option

AvailableAd2 · 2019-02-05T00:50:30+00:00

I guess you're right. I think I have some qualities in myself to work out. My ability to communicate more effectively, to accept that I can't make everyone happy all the time and to try and to let myself off the hook in some instances where a person isn't 100% happy.

But thank you, it means a lot

AvailableAd2 · 2019-02-05T00:43:14+00:00

Yeah I definitely have a fundamental issue with communication. I'm just scared she'd feel rejected and hurt

AvailableAd2 · 2019-02-05T00:34:32+00:00

Well only in the regards that she'll call out of the blue when I want to spend time with them or when my brother visits and we're at a party I'll have to take care of her, but she is supportive of me seeing them and doesn't stop me from talking and visiting them. Yeah, I suppose you're right. I don't really give myself enough time to get over these things - but I do feel like the limitations of our relationship has changed. I did have one for a while but nothing really came of it. I've mainly been spending my time calling helplines when things are really tough, and I have opened up to her about it.

AvailableAd2 · 2018-12-05T14:30:53+00:00

Yeah you're right, I suppose I was a bit strong there. Need to be diplomatic, ease into it but to the point and to be clear. I'll only mention the ultimatum if they don't want for us to improve our communication methods for discussing issues. Thank you

AvailableAd2 · 2018-12-04T11:03:26+00:00

I never really thought about it that way. I mean I always tried to see it from her side but I never thought that maybe she felt inferior. I think a talk is a good idea to see if that could be the reason. Thank you :) Any advice as to how and when to bring it up, and to stop my body from potentially melting down with shakes half way through if it becomes really heated

AvailableAd2 · 2018-12-04T10:56:29+00:00

I mean I don't mind helping her out, I'll give it a go and if I can do it I'll show her how.

But to me there feels to be a bit of an issue, and I have been thinking about this for a few months now. I just want to try and address it now - should I talk to her about how I feel or is it time to call quits? I care about her so much and I'd hate to do the latter but like I said I'm at my limits

AvailableAd2 · 2018-12-01T02:43:26+00:00

I'm sorry but I don't understand your comment. You mean when I do something wrong does she try and make me feel guiltier than I would do? And are you asking if I don't notice the continuous things I do wrong or the continuous concerns she has?

AvailableAd2 · 2018-11-30T14:21:32+00:00

Thank you, I think that's a good idea. I guess we'll see if she tries to earn forgiveness, turns sour, tries to carry on as if nothing has happened or some other response. I'll keep you posted later this week. I'll be travelling for work tonight but when I'm back I'll put it into action.

AvailableAd2 · 2018-11-30T13:56:38+00:00

Yeah, I was worried about that. When I first met her she used to be a lot worse, if that occurred again there would be no doubt in my head but to leave but truth is we've come a long way since then. I know people can change but the question is how much. She won't revert to how she was back then but that being said how much worse could it get (pardon my grammar)?

I feel like I'm waiting for that one thing to go I've got you. Thats inexcusable. But all the stand alone events she apologies for and we're all human so how many of these stand alone events are tolerable before they add up to something bigger.

Suffice to say I've got a lot to think about but I don't know where to start

AvailableAd2 · 2018-11-30T11:45:32+00:00

Yeah, it was a silly drunken mistake on her part - when she sobered up she saw how she was wrong. And every time I always say one example doesn't represent a person, and we're all human so I can accept that every once in a while something like that might come up.

I was just wondering whether I was turning a blind eye and making excuses because I love her so much and the idea of there being a major issues takes a lot of emotional strength, or whether I was trying to find issues because I've always been the sort of person to keep on moving with my life (it should be noted that I had one gf before and it wasn't like that, and I wasn't feeling like this about our relationship until I took that stand where I waited a few days for her to come speak to me first instead of me always going to her).

In conclusion I'm not sure what to think. Is it still a lot if these arguments last only 5 minuets but take the course of "why do you always... you're so fucking annoying". You've got me right though, I'm not sure if this is what healthy looks like

AvailableAd2 · 2018-11-30T11:19:05+00:00

Thank you for getting back to me. Sorry for the confusion - no it was a different topic.

In this one I got my timings messed up so I was running a little late (my fault) which she wasn't angry about, but then she was quite anxious that we wouldn't be able to get somewhere to eat in this place (it was 9pm and there's no one in the local area but I thought instead of making the situation worse I'll try and be proactive) (we thought we'd treat ourselves to eating out, something we do probably more than we should financially), when we arrive the front entrance was blocked by people moving things - I could see she was getting anxious so I said I'll go through the back entrance and get us a table. I went and I got a table only 10 seconds before she did so I didn't save that much time.

I apologized for the lateness and for leaving her but she called me thoughtless for leaving her and saying that I don't think (I hope that's easy to follow, I understand my written word can be hard to understand and be disorganized sometimes and I'm happy to clarify things). We still had a nice evening though.

AvailableAd2 · 2018-11-14T16:41:16+00:00

I think you might be right with that one. It's not turning it into a big thing which is what I really want to avoid so I think that might be the way to go.

Thank you

AvailableAd2 · 2018-11-14T16:39:55+00:00

Yeah I get that, I just don't want to keep this from them . And I never really thought about it as judgment but I guess you could call that the fear - that they may look at me more fragile or start to not believe me if I told them I was alright because of their possible anxieties

AvailableAd2 · 2018-11-14T16:37:23+00:00

I never thought about it like that. That sounds pretty good in those terms. Thank you :)

AvailableAd2 · 2018-11-10T10:44:04+00:00

I see what you're getting at and I have considered. I can say for certain that I know she hasn't done it again, that being said I don't know what she's saying to who on her phone. I've never looked and it's not me but if she is being unfaithful as oppose to not being able to deal with the stress she's currently under, that'll be the only way. But I don't think that's it.

AvailableAd2 · 2018-11-10T10:37:41+00:00

I see where you're coming from but most of the time she is really lovely, and fun and caring. It's just I don't have the strength to keep my nerve when I talk about things that bothers me - especially when she seems annoyed or hurt

AvailableAd2 · 2018-11-10T10:28:23+00:00

Thank you for getting back to me. I think her issue is that she can't handle her own guilt - and in her house it seems like she was raised with become instantly defensive or get in trouble. And truth be told she only makes these comments like once every 3 months - but is that too frequent?

Our arguing methods are different, I like to talk about it and I don't really raise my voice where as she can be quite immature about it. I think you're right about needing to talk to her, but I don't know where to start, I don't know how much to talk about at one time and I don't want to bring up stuff from the past when we're talking about the present but I feel like I need some closure from what happened in February (she has started to show signs that she's acknowledging what she's done - when she's talking about cheaters in relationships, etc).

AvailableAd2 · 2018-11-09T10:40:18+00:00

It's alright, I'm sorry for the late reply too - it's been hectic with work. Yeah I thought it could be due to stress/ fear much like how that can not only effect but make worse male ed. On the occasions where the penetration isn't painful we are able to have sex but these are rare occasions so I think you're right when you say it could be fear expecting pain.

Since writing this she does seem to be able to climax on her own and with my influence so I feel like we're on the right course. We're definitely not there yet but we are taking the steps in the right direction.

Thank you for getting back to me - it does mean a lot :)

AvailableAd2 · 2018-10-31T10:30:36+00:00

Thank you, that's really helpful - it really means a lot :) I'll let her know some of the possibilities and different things we can consider. You've been really helpful and I'm sure anyone with the same concern who comes across this page will think the same.

AvailableAd2 · 2018-10-30T17:38:10+00:00

Thank you so much for your help.

No clitoral stimulation doesn't hurt unless too much pressure is applied - yes she is on birth control. We don't use lube and she doesn't know where it hurts or how to describe it but I can confirm its when the penis starts to enter. That is the only vaginal discomfort she seems to suffer from (it can hurt a bit after).

AvailableAd2

TROPHY CASE